This is something you really have to think about. The two of you could have just been horny or something. You're probably going through a lot of changes right now and experimenting with a whole ot of things. One of these things just happens to be sexual orientation. We all go through it, you don't know how things are unless you try it. But being hetero or homosexual isn't something that happens in one night, it will take you awhile to figure out, and you may end up realizing you're bisexual. I can't tell you your sexual orientation, it's something you have to find out for yourself. Take some time to think about things, do you feel more attracted to boys than girls? Less? The same? It's not something you have to figure out immediately, it's a question that will always be with you. I suggest you experiement a little more with BOTH dating scenes before you decide your sexual orientation because otherwise you are never going to figure it out. Like I said before, you might still be changing and it could have just been a one moment thing. Go on with your life, but think about how you feel around girls and how you feel around boys. If you have any more questions on this or any other subject, feel free to ask them, I'll be here for an answer!

Dwarp

Well, having sex with the other guy isn't going to make up for your boyfriend making out with another girl, it's just unfair to your sex partner because he thinks you have feelings for him now. I think there are two separate issues here and we must sort them out.

First: Sit down and have a talk with your boyfriend. I'm assuming he knows you found him making out with another girl? If not, you need to explain that to him and if he already does, you can just get right into the issue. Tell him you are going to be completely honest with him and you hope he will be with you. Then explain to him that when you found him making out with the other girl you got jealous and had sex with the other guy. Then tell him your feelings about your sex partner. (ie: he's just there for sex, you like him, you love him..) Tell him how you felt when you first saw him making out with the other girl, and tell him how you are feeling about the issue now. Then ask him for his side of the story, his feelings and what he wants from the relationship. After you have both talked about your feelings about YOUR relationship, think about it on your own, and you can decide if you think the relationship is worth the pain you feel from him cheating on you.

Issue 2: You need to talk to your sex partner. After you have decided whether or not you will be with your boyfriend, tell him your status of that relationship. (If you're still going out with him, if you guys broke up) After you explain this, if you have broken up with your boyfriend, you can consider a relationship with your sex partner, or you can tell him your honest feelings, that you don't have feelings for him, but the sex was good. If he's ok with having a "friends with benifits" relationship with you, then go ahead, but beware because things can get awkward and ruin your friendship.

If you're still going out with your boyfriend, tell your sex partner that you'd like to continue a friendship if you think that you can handle it, and that you want to stay loyal to your boyfriend because you just couldn't handle the guilt the last time. This will then give him the optioin of a friendship if he wants it, and if he doesn't, he's not worth your time anyway. Either way it will make him understand your feelings for your boyfriend and he won't try to interfere with that.

Remeber, communication is the key to any relationship, whether it be friendship or more!

Hope I helped!

Sincerely,
Dwarp

Hiya! I'm dwarp. A crazy 19 year old from Chicago with too much time on her hands.I started this column when I was about 14, I think and I keep coming back. My friends tend to come to me for advice, so I've gotten pretty good at answering most problems. I'm a crazy Greek vegetarian, and yes, I have seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It's exactly like my family, so I am really great at answering questions about insane families. I study political science and international studies and I like to learn languages. I speak English, French, German, a bit of Greek, and I'm learning Italian next semester. I've had lots of weirdo love/sex-life experiences, so I'm pretty knowledgeable in that area. Ummm.....ask me anything!
Peace!

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