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humorist-workshop
o darn
Hey it says you are good at advice so here you go... I have been going out with this guy for alomst a year in may. We had a date last friday.. he called and said he was sick and couldn't make it... being the lover that I am.. I decided to buy him some ice cream and surprise him at his dorm to give it to him. I found him there making out with another girl... yes another girl!! I freaked! I was sooo mad. I mean had he always been cheating on me? Anyways, I was sooo mad I found this guy who Ihave only known for like 2 mounths. He asked me out like 10 imes.. so I brought him back to my dorm and had sex withhim. Now I feel sooo gulity! Butmy b/f did it to me! I don't know what I should do... should i dup my b/f and go with my sex partner? Help!
Signed, Sex to Sex
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Well, having sex with the other guy isn't going to make up for your boyfriend making out with another girl, it's just unfair to your sex partner because he thinks you have feelings for him now. I think there are two separate issues here and we must sort them out.
First: Sit down and have a talk with your boyfriend. I'm assuming he knows you found him making out with another girl? If not, you need to explain that to him and if he already does, you can just get right into the issue. Tell him you are going to be completely honest with him and you hope he will be with you. Then explain to him that when you found him making out with the other girl you got jealous and had sex with the other guy. Then tell him your feelings about your sex partner. (ie: he's just there for sex, you like him, you love him..) Tell him how you felt when you first saw him making out with the other girl, and tell him how you are feeling about the issue now. Then ask him for his side of the story, his feelings and what he wants from the relationship. After you have both talked about your feelings about YOUR relationship, think about it on your own, and you can decide if you think the relationship is worth the pain you feel from him cheating on you.
Issue 2: You need to talk to your sex partner. After you have decided whether or not you will be with your boyfriend, tell him your status of that relationship. (If you're still going out with him, if you guys broke up) After you explain this, if you have broken up with your boyfriend, you can consider a relationship with your sex partner, or you can tell him your honest feelings, that you don't have feelings for him, but the sex was good. If he's ok with having a "friends with benifits" relationship with you, then go ahead, but beware because things can get awkward and ruin your friendship.
If you're still going out with your boyfriend, tell your sex partner that you'd like to continue a friendship if you think that you can handle it, and that you want to stay loyal to your boyfriend because you just couldn't handle the guilt the last time. This will then give him the optioin of a friendship if he wants it, and if he doesn't, he's not worth your time anyway. Either way it will make him understand your feelings for your boyfriend and he won't try to interfere with that.
Remeber, communication is the key to any relationship, whether it be friendship or more!
Hope I helped!
Sincerely,
Dwarp
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