I am a 26-year-old wife and mother of two. I may be young but I have a well-rounded variety of life experiences. Some of that includes dealing with blended families, in-laws, parenting, and strange dreams. There are other topics I have a broad base of knowledge in and I will typically lean towards those more than others. They happen to be my favorite categories.
If you ask a question, the typical response time is within 24 hours.
**Please note that I am not a certified counselor. I am just an average lady who wishes to give you an honest opinion.**
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Age: 26
Member Since: November 18, 2006
Answers: 35
Last Update: April 2, 2007
Visitors: 4051
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Families
Spirituality
View All
Favorite Columnists
Vikki27
Erronius
|
| |
|
my labia are somewhat black, and not pink AT ALL. is this normal?? i'm not african american. (link)
|
Is is perfectly normal for your labia to be anywhere from light brown to almost black, even if you are caucasian. They can also be uneven, thin, thick, wavy, bumpy, long, short, and wrinkly. These are all normal characteristics.
As long as you aren't experiencing any other symptoms, such as itching, burning, warts, or open sores, then don't be alarmed.
The color is most often regulated by hormones, either your natural ones or those found in contraceptives, and may become darker during pregnancy.
|
|
I've had my period since I was 11 (16 now) and they haven't been getting regular. Sometimes I didn't get my period for 2 months at a time but I wasn't worried at all because I hadn't had sex. Since I was 14 I've been on the pill. Almost 2 months ago I had sex with my boyfriend. We used a condom but I havn't had my period in almost 3 months. I ually gain weight around my period but I'm concerned because of the missing of my period for a longer lenth of time. Now I'm getting worried because the pill is supposed to first of all prevent your chances of getting pregnant and second, keep you regular. Is it possible that I'm pregnant while on the pill and after using a condom? Thanks for your help. (link)
|
Yes, it IS possible, as neither method is 100% effective.
The pill is supposed to regulate your period, by encouraging a 'drop off' reaction during the week of dummy pills. Are you taking the dummy pills every month or are you taking a new pill that allows you to skip periods?
If you are that worried after three months, take a pregnancy test. If it is negative, then the real question here is why you aren't menstruating. This is something that needs to be discussed with the doctor that prescribed your pills, so they can adjust your contraception level to fit your body. Also, they can check to see if there are other medical reasons for you to be skipping periods.
|
|
I'm a 19 year old female. My fiancee and I have been sexually active for quite a while now and we've always had issues with his size. I'm a fairly petite woman and he's very well endowed. We use lubricant and we have foreplay for quite a while, yet sometimes I still bleed. We've tried putting me on top and it's less painful, but it's less pleasurable for me. Does anyone have any other ideas that I might have overlooked? (link)
|
I agree with the other advisors, bleeding is a sing of something more serious than him being 'too big'. Rememeber, if a baby can pass out of there, then your vagina can more than accomodate the well grown penis honey.
What this seems to me is that his penis is striking your cervix. You say you are using lubricant and engaging in foreplay, so I do not believe it is because you are too 'tight'. The bleeding, even if it is just a spot or too, needs to be addressed by a gynocologist. Until then, have him go slow and not so deep, and make sure you relax plenty during intercourse.
|
around my vagina, i usually get alot of these nasty ass pimples that seem so unormal. i've told one of my friends, and she said she doesn't get anything like that and that she thinks it's unormal. does anybody else get these huge ass pimples around their vagina anal area?? i feel like i'm the only one, and is there any way to treat them or something, to get rid of them??
--my vagina also smells bad, even after i wash it.
i wash it every day, but the smell doesnt seem to go away. i want to get a bikini wax too, but i'm afraid the waxer will think my vagina smells and she'll throw up...help please (link)
|
Okay, about the pimples. If they look like real pimples, they are probably ingrown hairs, especially if you shave your pubic hair often. If they are larger than a normal pimple, and have a rough, cauliflower looking appearance, or are 'open', then they are symptoms of an STD, either genital warts or herpes. Both are contagious and both need treated A.S.A.P.
In addition to the warts, you are experiencing foul odor. Is this a fishy smell or just a really foul rotten smell? Make sure you write it down.
What you should do immediate is see a gynocologist right away. Foul odor that does not wash away could be a bad reaction to your soap (some soap can cause you to lose 'good' bacteria and actually help bring on an infection), or a sign of a serious infection. Any vaginal odor accompanied by other sypmtoms is almost always a clear sign of and STD.
Not treating an STD right away can lead to serious health problems, such as pelvic inflammatory disease and infertility. If you are low on cash, look for a 'women's health clinic' in the yellow pages. They only charge you based on your income, or nothing at all if you are flat broke. And also, never, ever, shave or wax your bikini area when you have irritations down there, as you can actually spread or worsen an infection.
|
how long do you think a perfect sex should last,and please don't answer "as long as it should",i mean some girls say 30 min some say 20 min at lesat.and what is your ideal sex time?or what was the shortest sex period you had?
(link)
|
My personal answer is "as long as it takes to please the both of you." Read on...
If you finish too soon (before she does), obviously you enjoyed yourself, but did your partner? If not, then you might as well have masturbated instead, or asked her for oral. Most women can climax between 10-20 minutes on average. Some sooner, some much later, the average among me and my girls is 15 minutes (to climax).
My 'ideal' is long enough to enjoy the sensations, and not too long that I get bored and/or overstimulated. For the majority of women I know, it is between 20-30 minutes, not including foreplay (which should last long enough to get your partner 'wet', and to that, do not put a time limit on it).
The important part is that you make the experience something pleasant and erotic, and not just a 'chore' or something that has to be finished in a certain amount of time. Mindless pumping, no matter how long it lasts, is not worth the orgasm, in my opinion. Petting, touching, kissing, and so on should continue while you are inside.
The amount of time you spend on sex is not nearly as important as the amount of pleasure the both of you experience.
|
|
I am 20 years old an i am engaged to my wounderful boyfriend of 2 years..i recelty found out that this month he has been poking holes the size of tumb tacks in our condums.. i was woundering if there was a chance i am now pregnant...and what should i do..he dose not know that i found out???? i want kids i am just scared that we are not ready (link)
| |
Vikki said it beautifully, listen to her, it is great advice hon.
|
|
I'm on Depo Provera, the birth control injection, and I started spotting today. I know it's supposed to happen, but does it continue for long? Is it going to get heavy? If anyone has experience with this, please let me know, because I want to see my boyfriend tomorrow. (link)
|
No two people will experience the same symptoms while on Depo Provera. Did the doctor or pharmacist give you an information sheet on the side effects?
It is typical to spot during the first 3-6 months, and in some cases, up to a year. The majority of women who take Depo will experience 'ammenhorea', or, the absence of a period altogether. If you are spotting between periods, look at the color of the discharge. A dark red or brown is typical, but if it is bright red or clots when you are not schedule to menstruate, talk to your doctor. Also, call your doctor immediately if you experience sudden severe cramps, pain or swelling at the injection site, or unusually heavy discharge (more than one tampon or super absorbant pad in an hour).
Depo has also been rumored to cause weight gain and mood changes as well (such as depression), and after you stop taking it, it can take up to a year to return to your natural cycle.
In case you are wondering, I took depo for four years in between pregnancies, and again for a year after my youngest was born. I did experience light spotting the first year both times (in place of a 'real' period), and then the absence of a period.
|
|
I've always been a very conservative girl when it comes to sex. I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend months ago & recently we broke up. He played games with me afterwards and me being lovestruck, gave in and we had sex. He broke it off again, then came crawling back and me being stupid, had sex with him again. I feel like a complete slut; he played me both times, and now I'm left with a bigger broken heart. I'm never that stupid, but something came over me and now I feel like he totally used me and I can't rid myself of this horrible feeling. I used to be a good girl with her head straight and now I'm so mad at myself. How can I get over this? (17/F) (link)
|
No, no, NO, you are not a slut. As another advisor said, this is a label reserved for those who have sex for the sake of having sex and are indiscriminate about whom they do it with.
You, on the other hand, had a natural and genuine attachment to this boy and made a few honest mistakes. That is all they were, mistakes. Everybody makes them, and it is OK.
You have already learned a valuable lesson the hard way, that boys will manipulate girls to get them to have sex with them. Take this lesson to heart. You are already wiser now for having made this mistake, and strong enough to prevent it from happening again with this boy. :)
|
|
Okay, well, I used to have a boyfriend (let's call him Nick), but we broke up about a week ago. Now, we are just really good friends. But, a couple days ago, Nick invited me over his house to watch a movie with some other friends. During the movie, he started getting close to me, and he hugged me when I was crying (for the movie). Then, while he was hugging me, he touched my ass, and started kissing me. Finally, he told me to go into his bedroom. Knowing me, I was so gulliable, and I went. We started making out on the bed. Finally, he took out a condom, and we started having sex. During it, we stopped for a couple mintutes when I hesitated. Some how, we fell asleep, and the next morning, I woke up, but it wasn't him! It was his friend, Steve! I went to the other room to tell Nick what happened, but Steve acted like nothing happened, and denied it. What should I do? (link)
|
You knowingly and willingly engaged in sexual contact with Nick, and he stopped when you asked him to, right? He didn't rape you. What concerns me also was that you fell asleep almost soon after and then woke up next to somebody different.
At some point Nick woke up and moved into the other room, and you did not wake up when this happened. How or why Steve joined you is the part the bothers me. You did not give Steve permission to join you, so he did violate a boundary there. But Nick, being that this was HIS house, allowed it to happen. This is not normal behavior from somebody that is supposed to care about you. This means that Nick is really NOT your friend, at all, and you cannot depend on him to act like one.
Unless you had a rape kit done, you can't say whether or not Steve did anything but sleep (and I don't mean have sex) with you. If you feel that Steve did something wrong, file a police report against him.
And for your own sake, sweetie, keep a large distance between you and the BOTH of them. Neither of them deserve your company at this point, and it will not benefit you to associate with them anymore.
|
|
me and my boyfriend are both virgins. we tried having sex the other day but it hurt way too much so i stopped him. i know its supposed to hurt ur first time but is there any way to decrease the pain.. or should i just stick it out? (link)
|
First and foremost, before you have sex again, make sure you are practicing safe sex.
The biggest causes of pain during sex is tightening of the muscles in your body and insufficient lubrication. The body will tense up when you are nervous, and being that you both are new to having sex, there is a lot to be nervous about. First of all, relax. Take a few deeps breaths and make sure you are not so tense when you begin.
Before he can enter you, make sure you are sufficiently lubricated. To do this naturally, have him engage you in more foreplay. Breastplay and kissing you softly on the ears, neck and stomach also work well, so long as it is not too soft that it tickles you. Soft music in the background helps if you can do that too. Go slow. Massage your inner thighs from the knees to the groin, but not touching the groin, also helps relax you. Don't forget about doing things for him as well. Let your hands wander, kiss him, explore his body, and even feel free to lightly rub his naked penis. You might be surprised at how this works for both of you.
When you first start out having sex, foreplay should last until you are 'wet'. If you are in a hurry, try some KY liquid. I prefer the warming kind. The jelly can be ice cold, so stay away from that if you can.
If you are using condoms, make sure you are buying the lubricated kind, some of the come with extra lubricant designed to enhance pleasure in both partners.
|
|