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PurpleEyes91Member Since:
June 29, 2005Answers:
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"People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us see our own way more clearly."
advice
i am always shy around my friends i would say how are you and stuff like that but then we would have nothing else to talk about cause i wouldnt know what to say but i act different around my good friends but i mean for friends that i really dont talk to much do you have any suggestions ???
I had the same problem. I would be able to goof off with my close friends, but with the friends that I just talk to, I'd just be like, "So... What's up?" Try to start off with some small talk and casual conversations. Look for something that they're interested in and you can bring something up about it. If you see that they're bored in class, you can say, "I'd rather be anywhere but stuck in this lecture, where would you want to be?" Just something simple like that. It doesn't have to be too personal, but something they can have an input on. You can also try complimenting them, that usually starts a good conversation that's not too awkward. But try to compliment on something about THEM, instead of what they're wearing, etc. Keep it casual and friendly, like, "I loved the speech you gave in history class. You seem very well organized." If you don't want those awkward silences in the middle of a conversation, just keep talking. Don't be afriad to embarass yourself. Isn't it possible that they're trying to think of something to say also? Speak up and share your opinions, and I'm sure you'll be fine. I hope I helped. Good luck!
Well okay see I have this friend, and like she finds something that's wrong to start a fight with me..i mean i like her as a friend but sometimes she gets me really mad, and i just can't take it anymore, we've been thru thousands of fights.. and she talks about me.But i dont care when ppl talk about me..but she sooo muchh..and some of the stuff she finds out i say isnt true, but she'll never believe me..she always brags about herself..and she called me last night and said someone said you said something about me and i was like who? but i dont talk about her...so i know its not true and she told me his name and i said i didnt say anything and she didnt believe me..idk what to do, sorry its long..help ?
Most importantly, you have to confront her about it. Tell her how your really feel and that what she's doing disturbs you. If she doesn't listen, MAKE her listen. Tell her you're tired of her antics and that you can't trust her if she continues this. Ensure her that she has to have respect to earn it. Also, it's important to find out exactly why she does what she does. Tell her that it bothers you that she talks behind your back. Ask her how SHE would feel if you spreaded rumors about her. If she refuses to listen and cooperate, then I'm sorry to say that she isn't worth your time. I'm sorry if my answer wasn't what you were looking for.
My friend lets call her july she can be really annoying sometimes and she is really really really reallly really really lazy and slow we have only know eachother for like 1 year she drives me crazy now and has to know everything about my family she tells my mom everything and i hate it i want to tell her but she never listens! What should i do?
First of all, you have to tell her how you really feel. If she constantly reports to your mom every single thing you do, let her know that she's invading your privacy and you need space. If she doesn't listen, you have to MAKE her listen. Be assertive, but not too aggressive. Tell her that she needs to respect what you have to say, or you won't be able to respect her. Also, you have to find out exactly why she does what she does. Try asking things like, "How would you feel if I told your family everything?" If you confront her and she refuses to cooperate, then there's really nothing you can do about it. I'm sorry if my answer wasn't what you were looking for. Good luck!
well, some of my friends arent exactly as pretty as me or as skinny. alot have trouble with guys. and alot of guys like me... my friends sometimes say things to me like "everyone likes you and ive never even had a boyfriend. you've had like a million. im never gonna find anyone!" i dont know what to say to them! i can tell them that they will find someone someday but that doesnt make them feel much better. sometimes they'll say: "im so fat. i wish i was skinny like you" and ill say your not fat! and they'll say "well i dont look like you do i?" i feel so bad! what do i say??
First of all, you can't let them think that stuff. They're putting themselves down and comparing themselves to you. They might be fishing for compliments, but I doubt that. Instead of just disagreeing with them, tell them that you're flattered and appearances shouldn't matter. Our society today has come to a point where we are so superficial that some of us can only judge people by their looks. Instead of saying "You're NOT ugly" try saying something like "You ARE beautiful." If they continue to criticize themselves, tell them how you feel everytime they compare themselves to you. It must be uncomfortable, and you should be able to be comfortable with your own friends! Good luck!
I'm a pretty social person, but everytime I want to plan some time to hang out with one of my friends my parents always interfer.They hardly ever let people come to our house because they claim it's messy when all they gotta do is clean it up! Today I wanted to sleep-over my friends house and my parents wouldnt let me go because it was raining, but it wasn't even raining hard!! Everywhere I go, I'm questioned.One time, I wanted to ride my bike around the block and my parents made me come back in 10 minutes when it was only 6:00..They make me so mad!! It's hard for me to show them I'm responsible because they baby me with how they are overprotective and I'm just so pissed off right now!!I want them outta of my bussiness!! Please help!! How do I get them to stop buggin me and let me be able to do stuff with my friends?
I understand completely how you feel. I'm a firm believer that you can't truly understand something unless you've experienced it... Trust me, I've been there before. My parents used to be controlling and overprotective of me before I confronted them about it. I'm also a social person, but it was hard to be social when my parents didn't allow me to go out often. First, know that your parents are only strict because they love and care about you. You should take matters into your own hands and compromise with them. Show them that you can be trusted and you're capable of making responsible choices. Confront them in an assertive manner and tell them exactly how you feel, in an appropriate manner. This will show them that you're respectful and independent at the same time. This might be hard, because you're standing up to your parents, so be prepared to back up your opinions. Tell them that you would like to have a social life and that you're mature enough for them to trust. Casually bring it up first at a comfortable time so you can take note of their reaction. If they don't take it well, it'll help to have someone who is understanding there with you. Perhaps a sibling or a relative. First, tell them how you feel about their strictness. You need your independence and freedom. Also, explain to them what you would like them to do. Don't expect too much from them. They might loosen up once they see that you had the courage to confront them. The again, they might get irritated with you. I can't tell you exactly what will happen. In my situation, I told my parents that I could be trusted and backed that up with how well I do in school. If you're doing well in school, that obviously means that you pay attention and you're responsible, right? The rest is up to you now. Just remember to be open-minded with what your parents have to say, but also emphasize on your perspective. Good luck!
my friend is anorexic and i need to persuade her to tell and adult, before i do. what should i say?
thx
You love and care about your friend, let her know that. It's supportive to give her advice, but only if she asks for it. First, help her recognize that she has an eating disorder and tell her that she need help. Be assertive, but not aggressive. Research further on anorexia and tell her the truth, even if it's harsh and cold, she needs to hear it. Tell her what exactly she's doing to her body and what could happen, God forbid, if she continues to abuse her body. It's going to be difficult, but eventually, it'll be for the better. You're saving her life AND yourself. If she clearly emphasizes about not telling someone about this, let her know that you can't handle standing by and doing nothing about it. Again, be assertive, but not aggressive. As for telling an adult, find someone who you can trust and will be understanding. Perhaps your parents, her parents, or a counselor. They'll know what to do if you cooperate with them. As for your friend, you should be by her side every step of the way so that her recovery will be much easier. I'm sorry if I couldn't help you, but I'm a firm believer that you can't truly understand something unless you've experienced it yourself. Talking to someone who's been in your situation will help. Good luck and stay strong.