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I have this friend who I am very close to, and I don't know what I'd do without her. After being friends with her for 7 years, I think we know eachother quite well. However, recently she's had a boyfriend who has a 3 year old child and is still fairly close to the child's mother (his ex fiancee). Today, we saw them together with their child just walking around town which he never does with my friend, even though theyre going out. Also, this guy always seems to make more of an effort which his ex fiancee than with my friend. I gave her some advise and said to ask him up front whats going on, and give him a choice- his ex or her (because i think they still have feelings for eachother). I don't think my friend is going to take my advise because she loves this guy more than I've ever known her love a guy before... she doesnt wanna let him go even though she cant trust him... The thing is, I can see that she is going to get hurt and it's begginning to effect me because I cant' stop it :( I just don't know what else i can do :( I wanna make her feel better because she's my best friend and thats what friends should do... but i just don't know how to anymore :( (link)
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You've got to keep in mind that this woman is the mother of his child. So if your friend gives him the option "me or your ex" he is more than likely going to choose his ex, because she is the link to his child. Plus, having a child together is one of the strongest bonds so its only natural that they are very close, and if they wanted to be together, they would be as it would give the child a more stable life as well. So i doubt that they do still have feelings for each other in that way.
There isn't you anything you can really do for your friend as, as much as we dislike it, people have to make their own mistakes.
So i suggest all you do is support her, and be there for her if it does end badly.
Hope everything works out x
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Hey ! (:
im 12 years old and im a girl im turning 13 in december and i have a guy friend who i've been hanging out with lately i guess im starting to like him alot and getting deep emotions for him. He could be mean but he just jokes around with me and we always hug and we kinda held hands once but i dont think it ment anything special to him like it did to me? i really like him and i wanted to ask him out but i dont wanna ruin our friendship or get rejected ): i dont know what i should do since i reallyy like him ): (link)
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I think you should just ask him to do something with you like go to the cinema (or anything that you think would be fun really). It doesn't have to start out as a date but it can end up as one. Once your there you can go with the flow.
hope it works out for you x
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My best friend and I use to spend almost everyday together. We are both females & 26. I have a 1 year old daughter and my best friend is/was a significant part of her life as well. Her boyfriend just quit his job because he is moving 6 hours away. He's not positive when he's moving but possibly in 2 months. Now that he has quit his job they spend every night and day together. The only time I see her is if her BF has something else to do. This really hurts my feelings and I'm feeling taken advantage of. She came to my house last night,for the 1st time in 3weeks (her BF was at one of his friends house). She couldn't get here until 12:30am but we planned on watching one of our favorite shows and even though I had to get up at 6am w/ my baby I so badly wanted to spend time w/ my friend. Well we didn't even get to watch our show because a half hour after she got here her BF called and said he wanted to go get something to eat and so she left. I'm not the kind of girl that gets jealous of my best friends relationship w/ her bf. It just drives me nuts because I could never imagine treating a friend like that and then expecting that friend to be there for me 100% when my BF moves away. Its even more hurtful because I have a one year old daughter that she use to see everyday and now hasn't seen her in over a month. My friend always says "I feel so bad that I haven't seen you guys but he's moving so I want to spend as much time with him as possible". I feel like my friendship is being taken for granted. Am I being selfish or being taken advantage of? (link)
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I don't think its either, I think your friend is just scared that when her boyfriend moves their relationship won't last so she's being clingy. When something like this happens people tend to get a bit obsessed and I think that's whats happened with her. She know's that you two are such good friends that you'll be there for her after - its not taking advantage, its just a fact.
You could always try inviting her and the boyfriend round, that way, she's with him but you get her too.
I know its difficult because you miss her, but try and see where she's coming from.
And most importantly, don't hold a grudge against her because that will most definitely ruin your freindship.
hope it works out
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Today, me, my fiance and my best friends (2 of them) decided that it seemed like a good night to drink. Long story short, we called another really good friend (Lets call him John) and invited him to drink with us. We all got nice and drunk and everything was going awesome. Friend number 1 and John were once in a relationship (2 years ago), it didn't end well..But they decided that they were both willing to give it another shot.. They made plans the next day (without consulting me) and Friend 1 was(is) staying at my place for a couple days and I had plans to hang out with her, so I was pretty upset about her making plans to leave and be with him. I was upset, BUT, I said "Go hang out with John.. It doesn't really matter" Then she got upset and started crying.. which made John really upset.. 1 went and sat by herself for a while and John went with her.. He came back to me, my fiance and friend 2. He blamed her being upset on me and was very angry.. enough to call me bad names and insult me very deeply. I know he was drunk.. and we all were.. but I don't know if I want to forgive him. We've been friends for 5ish years, and I've always considered him one of my best friends..but what he said was really messed up. He grabbed me by the collar and I punched him because I was scared he was going to hurt me (On top of that he was shouting the f* word at my fiance and telling her to stay out of it in a wrong matter, which pissed me off). He didn't hit me(I don't know if it's because I hit him or not) but he got mad enough to say he was leaving and stomped away. He came back to apologize, but while he was apologizing he continued to call me names (He was pretty calm, but it was still pretty messed up).
I'm really mad at him.. and I don't know what to do. I know it must be hard to give advice in a situation you don't know so much about.. But I'm totally at a loss. We both probably over-reacted.. but I still can't believe he would say these things about me... What should I do? What would you do? (link)
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people overreact when it involves partners or the opposite sex in general and when you're friends it means they know the things to say that will truly hurt you. people do say things they don't mean when they've been drinking but there is usually something deeper rising to the top as weel. what i mean is that it doesn't come from nowhere. i would suggest that you speak to him, i know thats lame advice but its the only thing to do. a friendship of 5 years isn't worth being thrown away over something like this. also make sure he appoligises to your ex, let him know that was out of order. Maybe what you said did upset number one so ask why and you should probably apoligise for that. Pretty much - TALK to EACH OTHER!!!!
hope it works out
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I'm shy and it bothers me. I'm not shy around ppl I'm comfortable with. I get quiet when I'm tired or annoyed. also if I'm not comfortable with u. I feel like I bore certain ppl. Yet they don't know me really and I just don't open up. It's hard to. So any advice (link)
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i was exactly the same, still am sometimes. it's okay to be quiet, some people like not having to talk all the time. however if it bothers you, when you hear someone saying something that you have an opinion on or agree with, say so. it only takes a word or two for someone else to start a conversation with you and then you will get to know them, even if its only a little. after all, how can you get to know new people if you won't talk to them because you don't know them? bite the bullet and start talking!
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Okay, so on facebook, everyone is doing the status' that say; "like this and i will say what i like about you" etc. and when i like my friends what they say about me is well... mean. I mean I know that sometimes they are kidding or whatever, but it really bothers me. They all say i'm mean. I'm not mean. I'm sarcastic but it is funny. It's not mean saracasim. And everyone is saying about how i'm mean etc.
Well I don't want to be precieved as mean. SO! How can I be nicer? I really don't think i'm all that mean, but I am willing to change if it makes peoples preceptions about me change.
I don't know what I'm really asking here. I just want peoples opinions on the matter etc.
However, I don't really want to change my self but I don't know.
Just help me! (link)
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okay well i completely know how you feel because this happened to me, i'm very sarcastic aswell, but it did all work out, my friends know i'm only joking when i say things and realised that i am actually and exceptionally nice person. basically all you have to do is when you make a joke, pay attention to people's reactions so you are aware of who can handle certain jokes and who can't, for those who can't, just learn a bit of self restraint, you know bit your tongue - not literally - when you think of something funny to say. its all just about knowing people, and their sense of humours.
then again did you ever consider that maybe your friends are joking when thay comment on how 'mean' you are? just something to think about. =] x
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so im not the best at startin conversations no matter who im with, an i can tell it annoys me best friend and i dont wont her think im boring. so anyone got any tips on how to start an interesting convo ? (link)
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if she's your best friend i doubt she thinks you're boring, but anyway, how about something simple and pretty pointless like if you saw something funny or shocking on tv, tell her about it, or you could ask her about someting she's doing or if you're still in school talk about a subject or a teacher who really annoys you. remeber consevations merely to pass the time, it doesn't have to be a life changing thing. good luck =] x
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