lilblondeii<3's advice column | lilblondeii<3's Advice About Friendship

My best friend's boyfriend was beating the shit out of her.. he made her give him head in front of his friends or else he'd beat the shit out of her.. she had bruises and i saw them.. she told me about it.. i tried talking to her and him.. she tried talking to him.. it was never gonna end.. so i talked to tara (a school counsler) with 2 other people.. and we told them what we have seen and what was going on.. now she blames me.. and only me.. she said i ruined her life and she hates me.. she said that i blew it out of proportion and her lame fucking excuse for it was that he gets worried about her and then he gets angry so like when ur so angry u wanna hit someone that's what he does.. hello but am i the only one who doesn't hit my signifigant other when i'm pissed off?? i just don't know if i did the right thing.. i love her so much she's my best friend and i'd do nething for her and i just felt like this whole thing with her boyfriend was waaay out of control and i couldn't do nething more to help! i had to tell someone.. i dunno but i feel like killing myself and i dunno what to do... first i wanna go kill him.. then i'll kill myself.. sounds like the best plan to me but ya know there are people who actually care about him surprisingly and i couldn't never kill neone but that's beyond the point.. i dunno what to do about my friend and meanwhile it's throwing me in a hole i can't get out of and i just dunno what to do.. please help :'(

awww. I feel so bad for you :-( Your best friends boyfriend is a jerk he has no right to be abusing her and she should know that. You deffenatly did the right thing and your friend shouldn't be mad for you trying to help her. Tell your friend what you told me, then hopefully she will understand that you were just trying to help her not trying to get her in trouble. You should also talk to her boyfriend about it. He should understand that beating his girlfriend up will not solve their problem. Good luck.

*Chels*

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Hey everyone, Siren here...I'm lost on this. Here's my shpiel:
This girl has been my best friend for around 13 years. Last year, I got a boyfriend and she got really clingy; called me every day wanting to hang out. It drove me nuts, but I think she stopped calling once she realized I wouldn't abandon her.
That was the start. Now, I never wanna hang with her anymore...Being around her bothers me, and I can't figure out why.
She sits with me and my choir friends at lunch, but she doesn't speak to them, only me, and when she does, it's off topic. She'll interrupt a convo I'm having with another friend to talk to me about something else and it's...grr. I feel like I wanna talk to her sometimes, but I almost don't want her to sit with us...
I know sometimes friendships die, but I really don't want to lose her, and I hate feeling like I don't wanna be around her. I used to tell her EVERYTHING, all my secrets...she used to know the most about me of any of my friends, but I stopped telling her because she doesn't seem to...care?
It might be that I grew up a lot, and she hasn't quite, but I'm not sure that's the only thing that's screwing up our friendship. I'm sixteen and a girl, she's seventeen, if that makes any sort of a difference.
What should I do about this? I asked my dad (he's a psychiatrist) and he didn't know what to do; neither did my mom...so I turn to y'all.

Well, since you and this girl have been friends for 13 years I think you should be able to talk to her about pretty much anything.so tell her how you feel, say you don't want to hurt her but you really think aren't ment to be friends anymore. Explain to her that you two are growing apart and becoming different. good luck!!!

*chels*

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