about

heyy everyone. My names Deanna, but everyone calls me dee =].I'm 13 years old, but im pretty mature for my age. A lot of people come to me at school and confide in me with huge secrets, and i never tell anyone. Tons of people also ask for advice, and i help alot of people out with their problems. I really want to help people, as I want to be a child psycologist when i'm older. So, giving simple advice to teens like me would probably help =]. So, feel free to ask a question, I will respond ASAP!

Byeeeeeee

advice

13/f.my really close friend is pretty, smart, has a boyfriend for 8 months and everyone loves her. i love her too and im in one of her classes. she tells me that she never studies, and she gets perfect grades. her lowest grade EVER was an 89. alot of the time shes always bragging about things, thats just an example. shes basically a teachers pet in every class and sometimes its annoying. i just wanna go right up to her and say how she really isnt perfect, and its ok to make mistakes.
what can i do to calm myself down or possibly tell her(i'd rather not). UGH SO FRUSTRATEDD! help is appreciated.

Write it all down, or confide in another friend that you know wont tell. if she really is your close friend, then she wont mind you talking to her. but do it nicely. Dont b lik ur not perfect u brag too much, etc...

When you talk to her say, sometimes i feel low about myself when you talk about your boyfriend, friends, grades, etc. You're my best friend and I love you, but I just want you to know how i feel.

If she really is the friend you say she is, then she won't get mad.

If you decide not to tell her(even though it would be good), then start doing stuff for you. Start by going for walks around a park, or riding your bike. If you like to draw , pick up a canvas at A.C Moore and get to it! If you're into dance, stretch everyday and really put all you got into it when you go to lessons. Try picking up an instrument like the piano. You could also try writing.

There are tons of things to do to make you feel better about your self. Keep a diary to record all your thoughts.

I hope i helped =]
-dee

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I'm really..lost.

In the short 1 1/2 years that we were "best friends", she had this "habit", that at first, only slightly irked me. Now, it's the reason we're no longer friends. Except, she doesn't even know that she does it (and she won't listen to me), and she thinks I'm a complete fool, and a liar, etc.

She always has to be right, and she is always picking a fight with anyone who isn't willing to back down.

(example of conversation we had today)

Other Girl (her "new best friend): This guy I know, named Jim is pretty hot.
Me: He's in weight training, which is in the same classroom as me.
Her: Weight training isn't in the same classroom! (she does not even HAVE weight training). Weight training is in the morning!!
Me: What?
Her: For weight training, you have to come in the morning too.
Me: Okay, cool.
Other Girl: I wonder if he has a 6-pack or something.
Me: He doesn't. We were in the weight room together, and he took off his shirt. he doesn't have very many muscles.
Her: Just because you can't see them, doesn't mean he doesn't have muscles.
Me: I know..that part was sort of implied. He doesn't have any, you know, BIG muscles.
Her: What? Now you're contradicting yourself (meanwhile, rolling her eyes. The Other Girl says "Calm down, don't waste your time") Then she gets up in a flurry, and leaves.

Every time I don't see something exactly her way, she gets angry. Was it really necessary to argue over the technicalities of the human body?

Because of stuff like this, they now have notes about me in this "Note Book", where they continually write horrible things about me. I've been mean to them in the past (as a result of fights we've had), but I apologized, and for the past 6 months, I've done nothing to them, and pretty much stayed away from them.

What the heck is her problem? Another example. I said "I think nachos are the best food in the world!" She goes "Just because you like them, doesn't mean everyone does" (talking to me like I'm 5). Then I go "I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that I like them. Then she rolls her eyes, etc.


I've seen her do it with other people, too.

Well, im sure shes not just doing that to you, as you said. That's probably just the way she is. Have you ever brought it to her attention that it hurts you? You might want to think about talking to her about it. If she says she'll change, then wait to see what she does. If she doesnt, and you know that for a fact, it may just be time to move on and start hanging out with your other friends. While shes making those changes, hang out with your other friends too. She'll realize what a good friend she'll be loosing if she doesnt lay off.

Hope that helps =]
-dee.

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Ok, so I have two best friends that I have known since about third grade. I love them both to death. The only problem is when we are together, I feel like I get picked on/made fun of. I try not to be sensitive and take it seriously, but sometimes they go too far. They have names for each other (call each other twins) and I feel so left out. But I feel like if I talk to them then I'll look stupid and jealous. I have talked to one of them and she understands how I feel and said that she is going to try and avoid that so I wouldn't feel that way. Also, when I am alone with one of them, it is so great, we could not be closer, its just when we are all together. Any suggestions on help? Don't say talk to them because I have and the situation only has changed a little bit.

Also, I feel like I'm what's keeping us together. One of my friends has other really close friends I feel like she likes more than us. And the other has a guy she really is into. Anyway, I feel like I'm the one always keeping the plans between us three. What happens when I don't take the responsibitlies and stop? Will we lose touch? Will it be my fault? I love these friends and I don't know what my life would be without them. Thanks

Well, make them realize what a good friend you are. Stop making the plans for a while, and see what they do. Maybe hang out with your other friends.
This is happenening with me and my friends and i just talked to my friend about it. Well, she also feels left out and shes sensative about the topic too.
So, i think you should just make them realize what a good friend you are, and sooner or later they'll come crawling back to you.
However, if you do stop making the plans and nothings really going on between you three. It may be time to all get together at someones house having a real heart to heart. The issue may be deeper. I know you said not to try talking to them, but it may help when you're all together.
After your talk, watch one of your favorite movies make some popcorn and have a good time!
Hope i helped=]
-dee

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