LoStNcOnFuZeD's advice column | LoStNcOnFuZeD's Advice About Friendship

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Q: Okay, well thing is that me and this freind are such good freind and we had a clash last summer. and wasn't very good. thing is that i cna't seem tell her my feelings. she seeem to hatd when i act mad or upset and yet jelouse and i am not a jelouse person.. she dosn't understand that my feelings are still hurting. sometimes i don't know she like me anymore or still like me as good freind. i know this maybe sound jelouse but she didn't even put me her top friends list on facebook or mysapce we been close and buddies and she treat her roomate like she treated her the best in her life. i always been good friend. and yet she was brainwash about stuff people tell her and she listens. and thought she care about me and yet she don't act like it. how can i tell her with out my saying sound mad and upset? i mean my feelings are still hurt. i know i need get over it i can't i need to fix it.. so I feel better.. we both feel better talking toeacher again and everything.

Well, you're probably not going to like what I'm about to say but...

I wonder if your friend is a little tired of waiting for you to forgive her. I don't know what she did to you, but I wonder if it matters. I mean, you said that this clash happened last summer? That's a whole year ago. If you haven't been able to forgive her by now I wonder if her hesitation around you has to do with a certain level of comfort on her part. I know that if I did something to hurt a friend and a year later they still didn't forgive me, I'd be a little hesitant on our friendship too. I can understand that you're still hurting from what happened. When bad things happen they can leave us permanently scarred. But, I think ultimately you need to decide whether or not you can forgive this friend or not. If you decide that you can, you need to let your friend know that you forgive her and apologize for it taking so long. Let her know how you were feeling and tell her that you miss having her as a friend. She might be a little upset, but if she's a true enough friend she should be able to understand.

Q: 15/f

i made a really good friend with this one girl, and i became friends with the rest of her group as well. well, everyone told me " dont hang out with her, shes such a bitch." and i didn't really have anyone else, like i sat at there lunch table and everything. so i was like, well oh well, they seem alright. well, the carnival was in our town this week, [well it just started yesterday] and sooo,, i was gonna go with the one who i became really good friends with. because 2 of the girls were at their lakehoues, another one was sick, and another one left, because her mom found out she went 500 dollars over her cell phone limit or something. soo, then me and my really good friend were gonna go, well im walking down towards where im suppose to meet her, and she calls saying "hey i cant go sorry" and i was like. okkk. so then i walk all the wayy backkk, [it was a very far walk] to where my parents were. well. they left. and then i tried calling them a million times. but then my phone went dead. so then i walk down to the carnival by myself. i finally found my parents, and i ended up spending the night there with my family. -__- well, in the middle of it though, i see my one good friend, who said she wasn't coming. and i'm like.."Hey i thought you werent coming here?" and shes like "ohh well, my mom didnt want me walking down to the carnival just the two of us. and so.. then i saw them, but will hang out tmrw." and she walks away.

So, now i dont know what do. should i stay friends with her? am i overreacting? i havent talked to her yet.. what should i say.

I think it's important that you you treat this girl fairly. You can't judge others by what they say about her, you need to find out for yourself.

What ended up happening in regards to the carnival definitely seems suspicious. I'm not really sure what you should do about it because even if you confront her, she could very well lie to you about the whole thing, and it is very likey she will if she lied to about it already.

My advice to you is to just wait and see what happens. I wouldn't exactly trust this girl with any secrets you may not want shared, but I do think it would be a little drastic to cut her out of your life completely because of one event. I would put this even into your long term memory and if anything should arise like this again, you'll know what you're dealing with. Until then, I would just be courteous but careful.

Q: My best friend Nicole has been my friend since 5th grade and were in 9th grade now. We're so close and we talk about everything together. One of our good friends who was 17 yrs old just passed away on december 5th from cancerous tumers on his brain. It was so sudden. We all got so scared after that becasue in our town, theres been alot of deaths from cancer. We didn't think it would actually effect someone so young, an ready to go off to college. The worst part about it is that his mother had already lost 2 other sons before him. So she basically just lost her 3rd son.
Sadly to say, just last week, about 2 days before Xmas, my best friend Nicole was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors said that the lumps on her neck were the beginning of Mono, but they were wrong. Her tests came back, and she now has cancer. Shes gonna be at Westchester hospital for about 4-5 weeks going through kemo and stuff. Me, and a bunch of our other friends are worried sick about her becasue its so sudden, and we dont want to lose her like we lost our other friend. I'm so sad, and I desperately need someone to make me think of positive things about her right now, becasue really all i can think of is our other friend who just died and if shes gonna end up like that. This is a very hard time for me, can anyone give me any advice on this? I just dont know how to think about something good. Thank You!
_Janine_*

I think that maybe you and all of Nicole's friends should go to group therapy, or teen counseling or sumthing. I'm not trying to be funny here. I seriously think that all of you talking about your feelings with a professional can help everybody through this. You can talk about your fears with her cancer treatment while reminicsing all of the fun times you had together. I think it will help all of you to know that there are other people out there who feel the same way you do. You don't have to go through this by yourself. Try to be there for Nicole the best you can and maybe talk to an adult about starting a fundraiser in her name, and the name of your friend that recently passed away. I think keeping your mind occupied with doing sumthing to help Nicole and other people with her condition and those similar to it can help you work through your fears and restore some lost hope. Good Luck n God Bless ~*K@-C*~

Q: ok i am friends with these two girls and i really like them both well they are always together like 24/7 day and night well like when ever i wanna do somthin with either of them they both come like we had a school dance and like i went and i didn't have anyone to go with so i asked they both were like hey we will go with u so instead of buying dinner for one person and one set of flowers i had to by two and like they are always flirting with me like tonight they came over and we were watching a movie and like they both got all dressed up skirt heals everything both lookin so sexy and like they are laying all over me and like no matter what they wont ever do anything with me not just tonight but ever! i mean like we are completely cool with each other we ain't got no problems stripin infront of each other so it's not like we got anything to hide from one another but i want to know like they will be like all over me some times but they always say they don't like me and like they will never do anything with me and i wanna know is why do they do this to me!

15/m

haha...ok I'm sorry. If I were you I would ask them straight out why they have to be acting all sexy and shit around you. See what they say. If you guyz are all comfortable around each other then it shouldn't be to hard to just be like "Man, you guyz are killin me with this!" They'll probably laugh it off. Or, who knows maybe you could be all over them back. Try to like mess around with them if you like them that much. I really donno what else to say oh yeah! You could also try tellin them "Don't tease if you're not gonna please!" lol...Good Luck ~*CaSSiE*~

Q: Ki C...am i the hottest thing in the would or what?

KiKz, ur hotter than a seatbelt thas been sitting in the sun for 8 hours...lmao 143 babe ~*»»Ki C««*~

bio

Hey! My name is Cassie and I'm 21 years old. I live in the suburbs of Chicago where I like to spend time with the important people in my life, play softball, and volunteer in my community. I am currently a junior in college. Throughout my years of schooling I have been involved in activities such as: volleyball, basketball, softball, theater, poms, choir, band, foreign language club, science team, and academic achievement programs. I am a Secondary Lutheran Education Biology Major with a minor in Spanish Education.

I enjoy getting to know people. I am generally an optimist and choose to believe that every individual has something to offer. Please feel free to ask me anything. I promise that I will consider every question thoughtfully and give you the best possible advice.