I am a Sixteen year old girl who enjoys helping others and sharing my experience and knowledge. I'm here to help anyone and everyone and anyone is welcome to add me on msn or email me. I have been through relationship problems, Family problems (I have recently moved out of home.) I have had many friendship problems and have helped a lot of people through self harm and suicidal thoughts. My career goal is to be either a graphic designer, Visual Art teacher or councellor.
Website: My personal Website
E-mail: Daniellep_91@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Far South Coast
Occupation: Full Time Student
Age: 16
MSN: Daniellep_91@hotmail.com
Member Since: November 9, 2007
Answers: 52
Last Update: December 4, 2007
Visitors: 4641
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My "Best" friend did it again and I'm not sure to react this time. We have know each other for 30 years. We say we were in the womb together because our parents were friends and we hung out and sleep at each others house til the end of high school. We lost touch while she was in college but then we hooked back up again. We worked together and then I got pregnant. This weekend she told me she was going to take me to Stevie B for my birthday and all of a sudden she couldn't get the tickets, but we were still goign to hang for a while, that was until she called and told me that she was going home for the night instead. I now have two children, 8 and 1, she wasn't there for either birth or even to visit me in the hospital, nor has she been to either ones birthday parties. We always say that we will be friends forever no matter what but now I feel so hurt I don't know if I any longer want her friendship. Friendship goes two ways and I seem to be the only one giving. Is it mean or bad to feel this way? It's my 30th, a major milestone, I was at both of her 30th parties, ugh!!!!!!! (link)
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It's only natural to feel this way, of course after knowing someone and sharing so much with them its going to hurt you. Seen as though you have known each other so long I believe you should be able to be open and honest with her, tell her how you feel, maybe even write her a letter. Its hurting you more also because its your 30th. Perhaps your friendship is coming to an end but maybe it will be best for you as you wont have to deal with the pain of being blown off again.
Good Luck xx
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15/F
sorry for the length.
please, just read and respond.
Here's the deal. This isn't one of those stories where I ask advice for my friend. It really is him. Alright, well a little while ago I went to my cousins house and I met his neighbor whom I clicked with immedietly. We had this instant atraction that was werid because Iusualy wouldn't go for guys like him. I'm a good girl, because of the choices I make, and he's more of the bad boy who's been through alot. So we liked eachother a little bit, but he lives about an hour away and I have a boyfriend, and he had a girlfriend.The feelings faded how I wanted them too. When we got to know eachother, he told me that he cuts. I got him to stop and he promied me that he'd never do it again, but only because he loves me and that he wants to make sure that I trust him. I got him through alot of stuff and I became his "hero" as he says. A little while after that he told me that he missed his ex and that his life meant nothing to him anymore and I had to convince him to not take his life. I don't say anything inconsiderate and I talk to him about his feelings. I know how to play. He thanked me for the help and everything was fine for awhile. Then, yesturday, he told me that he broke up with the girlfriend that he currently had because they lived far away. I asked him if I could help and he said no, because, "It scares me how much I care about you, and I can't take loving you anymore." I didn't understand what he meant by this and I tried over and over again to ask him but he never gave me the explaination that I wanted. I thought we were over what we had, but maybe he doens't like me anymore. I asked if he still had feelings for me and he said yes, but I just really don't know. I asked him if he broke up with his girlfriend because of me and he said that he didn't know. I'm gonig up to my aunts house on monday and I'm gonig to see him because he is my aunts neighbor. I'm just afraid that things will be different and that I'll make him feel weird. We had somthing, I'll admit. I love the boyfriend that I have right now and I don't want anything to rekindle with my aunts neighbor. I want to be there for him, but I don't wnat to fall for him. I had a big problem with this last time and it almost caused me and my boyfriend to brake up. This kid means alot to me, and he changed me as a person and I see life alot differently. I just recently lost one of my best friends and he helped me get through. Now I want to be there for him. I can't have him take his life or hurt himself. Please...please help me. I sound desperate, but what would you do if you were me.
you could help me, help him save his LIFE.
thankyou and God bless all who resppond.
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First things first from what i've read i think you have some sort of feelings that you aren't admitting to for this guy. Whether we like it or not there s no way of stopping who were attracted to. I've been through having friends cut themselves and wanting to commit suicide and i know that it causes a lot of stress for yourself. You need to remember than you can't control the person from doing something, and that its not your fault. Maybe you should influence him to see a professional, you could even offer to go with him when you go and see him while your at your Aunts. Does your boyfriend know how close you are to this guy? It seems that your closer with this guy than your boyfriend. You need to be true to yourself and follow your heart, if something happens while your at your Aunts its obviously meant to of happened. It may help you decide between him and your boyfriend. If you too want to have a relationship and your in for the long hawl the distance will be nothing.
Good Luck, your being a really good friend wanting to be there for him, I admire you for that xx
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I have a lot of friends. Friends that I can party with, friends that I can hang with, friends I can shop with, etc. But I have no friend that I can just do anything with, a friend that I can always count on to hang out with any time, who won't double-cross me. I haven't lived where I've lived since I was born, so I don't have a childhood treasured cradle-mate. I really want to be ultra close with one of my friends, but I feel like I'm the odd one out who matters, but isn't included in any real group. I just don't know what to do. In my classes, people have partners. Like Jane will always hang out with and pair up with Sally. I'm always the second choice, the girl someone picks if their first pick isn't there. What do I do to matter more to one person? Not like love relationship, but best friend-like, you know? (link)
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Hey, From what you've written you seem to have a lot of friends that you can do things with. Maybe you should try and get closer to some of the girls you go shopping, partying and hang out with. Invite a girl you'd like to get closer to around for coffee or ask them to do something, just you too and get to know that person a little better. Maybe your left out cause you don't put yourself in the circle of friends enough, maybe you don't trust enough or your no open enough. Turn things around why don't you start organizing activities fr example lunch or dinner at your place etc.
Good luck xx
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Hi,
I really need some advice!
I met Claire two years ago, we became really good friends! We both had problems with our partners at the time (hers much, much worse than mine) so we confided each other and helped each other through it.
My boyfriend at the time really idolized her Husband (he's famous in the motor industry)I actually contacted them when I found out that he lived down the street. My boyfriend told me weeks before he'd seen this guy round town and was really star struck by him. I wrote a letter inviting them to a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend and left a present for their child. As I posted the letter they turned up and friendships were made from there..............................
As we were all English and in a new country we bonded really well. My boyfriend changed he started becoming a complete idiot and kissed her Husbands arse! Nobody could belive how much my boyfriend had changed, me especially. Whom was this person? It got to the point where I didn't recognize him anymore he had changed he was imitating her Husband. I thought we had problems before he came on the scene it was nothing compared to what was to follow. Their friendship was a big problem in our relationship. I got to the lowest point after being bullied and treated like crap for months, my health was bad and I lost allot of weight. Claire would tell me to leave him, I thought it was a faze and he would return to normal and realize he had been a complete idiot after all we had a great relationship for 18 month until this point.
He gave me HPV and I forgave him, and forgive him putting off my much needed surgery (as I said-my lowest point)for his needs. When I went to the doctors he diagnosed with Strep due to stress I ended the relationship that day, he was the only stress I had, I finally come to my senses! Claire could not belive the change in me, I was back to my old self not the dithering mess I'd become.
Not too long after my split Claire became that dithering mess, he bullied her in every sense of the way she was a wreck when I last saw her and so was their child. I had never seen her so low, wow! She had become the same person I was. We talked for hours and I told her she has to do what's best for her and her daughter. She wasn't eating, sleeping, she was a mess! She suspected him cheating. They went back to England and went to Counseling and things seemed to get a little better. They had good days and bad days though mostly bad which was a huge improvement to all bad. That's the way Claire seen it anyway.
My boyfriend at the time told me a secret about two months into our friendship with Claire he told me that Steve had been sleeping with lots of woman before he married (Claire had been with him for seven years before they married). I was in shock though not really, he had passed some choice comments in front of me and was a very, very arrogant man. The more Kathryn and I got close and accused him of having affairs the more I thought about the secret. Should I tell her? Should I forget it? I have told a friend before about her boyfriend cheating and lost her. So I felt like a liar, a cheat and now selfish. I chose to put it to the back of my mind. The sad thing about it is that if Claire knew it was happening to me she would tell me, I guarantee! I have trusted her with thing I haven't told any other soul as she has me. She told me things that if I repeated would destroy her Marriage. That's how strong of a friendship we have and how much trust we have in each other.
Claire is back in England with her husband, she just found out she is pregnant with her second child.(one of there biggest problems when I met them, she wanted another, he didn't)
I got a Voicemail from Claire this morning, she was really upset and said that she caught her husband in a very compromising situation last week. He left her and told everybody that he's left her as she is annoying him!?!?!? I know if he wants to get back with her he will manipulate the situation and she will belive him and makeup excuses for him, she justify's his usual behavior with depression, stress, and the latest Bi Polar disorder. I just think he's a narcissistic nasty excuse for a man whom treats his wife and daughter like crap.
My problem is I really don't know what to do I have been racked with guilt for the last year now and with the present situation I'm leaning toward telling her so she can finally rid him from her and her child's life. They both deserve much, much more. I really don't know what to do? I don't know if I'm being selfish by telling or I'm trying to rid myself of the guilt. I know it will hurt her allot, does she need to know?
Because of who he is I can't talk to anyone about this? Please, please help
Should I tell her or bury it again and live with the guilt?
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Wow! Seems like you've been through a lot with your boyfriend and especially with Claire. From what i've read you to have confided a lot with each other and it seems you too have a lot of trust in each other. You mentioned that if it was her in the situation of knowing the secret that your boyfriend cheated on you she would tell you so i believe it would be only fair to tell her. Claire being pregnant with her second child to this man may add more complications to telling her. You say that your feeling guilty and have been for a year i can imagine that this secret would be eating away at you inside and causing you unhealthy emotional and mental behaviours. I think that it would be in your own best interest to tell her. She may b upset at the fact that you haven't told her earlier so be prepared for that. You need to be there to support her after you tell her too. Its best that she knows, being in this sort of relationship is seemingly causing her damage both physically, emotionally and mentally. If you bury it much longer you may start distancing from her due to your guilty conscious. You need to tell her:)
Good Luck xx
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