about

My name is Kambrey and I am a very oppinionated and strong willed person, however I am also very open-minded to new ways of thinking and others opinions. Being a minority where I live has helped open my eyes to the struggles of others. And since the minority I belong to is a religious one I am also very repectful of others beliefs, life styles and points of view. I know it's hard to be different sometimes, and even harder asking for help when your worried others are judging you. I'm NOT going to judge you. Period. My only purpose is to help. Feel free to hit me with ANY question you need help with! And to anyone reading my column with comments, oppinions or really any constructive critisism PLEASE let me know! Can't wait to hear from you! ~Kambrey
P.S.- Feel free to hit me up at my private e-mail for questions you don't want displayed on the site! AskKambrey@yahoo.com

advice

Ok so I will be turning 16 on December 20th. My mom would let me have like a big party, except I have NO clue what I would do. First of all, I don't have a huge amount of friends...so I'm confused as to who I should invite. I don't have a lot of guy friends at ALL. Actually I would say I don't have any. There's some guys that I just talk to, that I could invite...but I'm not exactly friends with them. I'm pretty shy, so that's why...and also that might be kinda weird if I asked them to come. I dunno. Like do people invite people they JUST talk to sometimes? Ahh... So then I was thinking just a few of my friends go somewhere, like maybe a movie or out to dinner. But that seems boring. I feel like I need to have a sweet 16 party...otherwise 16 is just another year older. I want it to be fun and stuff. But I have no clue what to do. Help?! Thanks so much! :]

Dear Sweet 16,
First off let me say happy (almost) birthday! Turning sixteen years old is a big deal in everybody's life--you start dating, you learn to drive, get a job and start meeting tons of cool new people! So no matter what you do this will not just be another year older. The possibilities for you are endless as far as a special and memorable sweet sixteen party gos. At this age you will be able to do just about anything and are garenteed a good time, its your attitude and enthousiasm about the activity that will make it fun for everyone else, not nessacarily what you do. Over time I've actually come to realize that the more child-like things get a better reaction and are more fun then what hollywood has portrayed as a "cool party". Almost every city has some type of an 'activity center', teens are very easy to please just give them a variety of things to entertain. For my 16th we went to an activity center called "Hollywood Connection" (In SLC, Utah), it had mini golf, a roller rink, lazer tag, video games, a movie theatre, small restuarant and a few cheesey little kid rides... and as lame as those things would seem it was a huge hit! It's fun for older people because most haven't done stuff like that since they were little, it brings back good memories. And you won't have people getting mad at you or telling you to act your age because the whole point of places like that is to go wild and have some fun. Usually places like that will have a certain day of the week that is really cheap, or will offer big discounts for groups so your mum will be fine with it too.
Invite those people that you only talk to, that's how people become friends and all those guys will love how laid back and fun loving you are! Which equals bonus because then you have new friends AMD potential dates!
The trick to any good party is simple, a group of friends or people who get along and can have a good time and simple joys like fun cheesey activities, greasey pizzas and snacks and a fun-loving attitude. The more you try to plan things out into detail the more frustrated you and everyone else will be. If you take it with a relaxed, go with the flow attitude you can't go wrong and everyone will have a great time.

For more ideas or questions feel free to hit up my personal e-mail at AskKambrey@yahoo.com

Hope everything go's great and happy birthday!

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Theres this girl at my school and shes so FAKE. like everyone knows it but they all like her still. all her friends talk stuff about her but when theyre with her shes the best thing in the world. she steals all these guys from me. she thinks shes the best thing ever. she flirts with anyone that moves. and everyone falls for it, especially the guys. this is how shes fake: she like says things, and then later, denys them. like one night all her friends where mad at her so she asked to come to the hangout with me and my friends. we felt bad for her, so we said okay. there, she told us how we friends where boring and she liked hanging out with us. she also said that our small group should stay that way-small. so next weekend the next thing we know, everyones tlking about going to the hangout, all invited by her. all her friends, and some not even friends. so we said okay, we're still going. so we got there, and her and her friends completley excluded us from theyre group, sitting at a different table, and shutting us out, so we just left. after i told her why we where upset. she just apologized and did it again. so now she took over. theres other times, but thats just one example.
i just want to know how to overcome this, i dont want to fight with her, i just want to know how to deal with it.
please help. thanks alot:)

Dear Reader,
Sometimes the only way to deal with people like that is to learn from our mistakes and don't make them again. It's frusterating to not have any control in these situations, but you have to remember that you gave her the control when you agreed to let all those people she invited come to something that she was only invited to out of pity. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but I think you probably already knew that that was going to be your only (mature) option.
That doesn't mean don't stick up for yourself and just let her have her way. You should confront her (in a non-voilent way) and let her know that your really disapointed in her- it sounds cheesey but when you use words like disapointed then you put it on her shoulders and off of yours; let the guilt get her. Even if she acts like it's not bothering her it will. She's obviously a very shallow person and she let's others control how she feels, who knows she may even eventually grow up.
I hope that I helped a little, and didn't sound to "Dr. Phil". *wink*
~Kambrey

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My Friend from my guitar class is moving to Hawaii. I am so sad!!!! What should I do???

Dear Jordan... I mean reader, *wink*
You should write her at least once a month and text and bug her as much as possible. Oh and you should take guitar lessons over the summer cause as of now you stink! haha! JK!

~Kambrey

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all my friends are annoying me - they're not different or anything. They're not mean. But for some reason, I suddenly hate them all. I don't want to hang out with them, I hate talking to them. I do everything to avoid them. All of them. I hate my school. Yet I hate being at home. I just hate everything. I hate people. does that sound weird? Like PEOPLE annoy me. I don't want to be alone, but I just really don't want to be with anyone I knwo right now. What can I do to get rid of this feeling? Iäve had it for about 1 month and its pushing all my friends away..

Dear Reader,
In order to figure out how to fix the problem you need to find out what the real problem is. And I'm sorry to say it's probably going to be something that you will need to figure out on your own for the most part. Some of my suggestions for the quickest, easiest way to figure it out is start back from the begining of the problem. Try to remember everything that you were doing, everything that was going on in your life one month ago. List any factors that might have changed during that time period. It could even be a little thing that finally broke you down so write down EVERYTHING! Make it into an easy to read list. A lot of times when you list things on a paper right in front of your face you notice connections and obvious thought paths that you have never noticed before.
On a more pychological level of looking at your problem though, your feeling of not wanting to be around people could be a way for your body to tell you that you just need some quality time with yourself(cheesy as that may sound) to figure out some problem that has been facing you or to sort through your thoughts to make the best possible decision on a choice that may be arising in your near future. This is something that is more about you and what your feeling and dealing with then any of your friends; like you said they haven't changed or done anything different. It could also be a maturity thing. Maybe you've seen or gone through something in the last month that has pushed you through to a higher level of maturity and little things that your friends are doing that you didn't notice before your noticing now through new more mature eyes.
Make the list, think things over, the answer that you need will come to you in time.
~Kambrey

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i have known my this girl ashley since like 1st grade we were like best friends up until the summer going into eigth grade we had so much fun together we never stopped laughing and with my other friends we grew apart but nothing wood ruin are friendship or atleast thats what i thought during the summer going into 8th grade we had a HUGE fight like it was crazy but the weird thing is i dont remember what its about or who started it but it was big so big that its almost then end of 8th grade and even when i walk by her in the hall there is anger in are eyes we havent even talked since the fight and were going to high school next year and i really wanna just be friends again but i dont no what to do i refuse to talk 2 her because then it would be to acword so i need to no what to to 2 be friends with her again other then some cheesey answer like talk it out should i even try to be her friend anymore idk please help!!!

Dear Reader,
You have to decide if it's worth it for you to be friends again. And I hate to say it but you are going to have to talk in one form or another. Communication really is the basis of any good relationship, whether it's a friendship or a romance, anything; you have to be able to talk and communicate or it will never work.
I think it would be silly to let pride get in the way of a life-long friendship like you had. Especially if it was over something so unimportant you can't remember what it was. Really the choice is going to be yours. Your friendship or your pride...
~Kambrey

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Okay, so there's this guy, he is SO cute, we've been friends all this year. And I fell in love with our friendship.

Silly as it sounds. But I like him, ALOT! He sometimes calls me at night, and one time, he wanted to meet me at the mall and watch a movie. (May I add, he doesn't know I like him.)

Okay, during school, my very close friend, talks about my crush ALL THE TIME. It kind of bothers me cause she says all this stuff like, "Oh, he keeps poking me in the arm, and told me it was a 'Love Tap'" I got pretty sad when she told me this. (Also, may I add, I told her I liked him before she even told me this.)

Last night, she told me that she 'kind of' likes my crush! To be honest, I wasn't surprised since she made is OBVIOUS!

But the problem is, she's ALOT prettier then me. She went out with more guys then I have. And most guys ask her out and everything. I'm just scared that maybe my crush might fall for her, and forget about me. I'm just scared if he DOES ask her out, that she's going to say yes.

I don't know what to do. My crush doesn't know I like him, and my friend likes him. I don't know what to tell my friend how I feel about this. I don't want to ruin our friendship. But it's really killing me. It gets me really mad, knowing that ALL the guys I thought is cute, or had a crush on, she happen to like them as well.

I don't know what to do anymore. Please help.
Sorry for this to be so long. But I need advice.

Thanks, I rate high! =]

Dear Reader,
It seems to me that your friendship is already in danger. Her liking all the same guys as you is a bad trend, that could get you into serious trouble. You really just need to talk to your friend and explain how you feel. Don't beat around the bush, just be striaght forward with her. Matters of the heart are never better left unsaid.
As for your best friend being prettier then you, that is simply a matter of opinion. And even though this sounds lame, if you let yourself believe that then others will too. Besides most of the guys that I have talked to have said that looks take the back seat to good conversation and personality. I know it's easier said then done but if you take the innitiative to ask him on a date or to hang out with you sometime it will really impress him. Guys appreiciate the forwardness, and usually find it really hott. Besides you already have the upper-hand because you've built a friendship with him.
Talk to both of them, everything will work itself out from there.

What's meant to happen will happen.

~Kambrey

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