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My friend says Im naive and that I live a sheltered life, but I hang out with him all the time. I dont think Im spoiled either. What does he mean?

Being naive means that you are innocent and more likely to believe anything people tell you. A naive person is also less aware of people's attempts to manipulate him/her for their own gain.

When someone calls you 'sheltered', they mean that you are unaware of most of the evil, illegal, or 'immoral' things that go on in the world. Some of these things aren't necessarily immoral, but some adults feel uncomfortable letting younger people know about them, so they try to hide them away.

Being naive and sheltered isn't totally a bad thing, depending on your age. It's good to enjoy your innocence while you have the chance, because you can never get it back once it's gone. But you may want to learn more about the world around you for your own protection.

Be careful with your learning, too. You don't have to do drugs, have sex, or anything else to lose your sheltered label. Just learn more about these things through reading or talking to an adult you trust, and don't let people push you into doing anything by calling you names or pressuring you. People like that just want to use you, and learning how to ignore them is one part of growing up. Good luck, and be careful.

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hey! am sorry if this is too long..i just need some help! ok am a girl and there is this girl that hates me so much. ok this is how it all started. we were in school in algebra and before algebra we have lunch. when we come back from lunch this girl is always late to class. the door of the classroom is always locked. she always comes late and expect somebody to opened the door for her. well me and my friend always sit next to the door but we dont open it for people because they should get to class in time. well when somebody opened the door for her she came in and started saying this "stupid B****** dont open the F***** door . they are so R*******"..she just kept on arguing. we just ignored her. this all happened on november of 2009. now she always stares at me in class,and sometimes when am walking down the hallway she looks at me or when am sitting down and she comes inside the classrrom she stares at me..and i herd her talked about me..i really dont know what is her problem seriously..i dont want to go up to her because i know something will ahppen because she has anger issues and so do i..so can you please tell me a good advice because this girl is getting on my nerves :(

Oh goodness. My friend is having the exact same problem with some girls at our school right now. She's ignoring them and they are starting to leave her alone, but there are still incidents every once in a while.

There are four main ways you can handle this. None of them are perfect, but they all have the potential to solve this problem. Your choices are:

a) talk to her.
b) write her a letter, then talk to her.
b) ignore her and hope she leaves you alone.
c) get a teacher or other adult involved.

You should absolutely try either option A or option B before anything else. Here is option A: talk to her (I know you said you can't, but hear me out anyway...then you can go to option b if this doesn't sound right). Ideally, you should approach her somewhere public like a classroom with students in it, with your friends close enough to watch what is going on without being obvious. Do NOT approach her with friends to back you up. I know that sounds scary, but here is my reasoning: coming with backup makes it look like you want a fight or that you are scared of her. It will also put more pressure on her to act tough since she has a bigger audience.

Acting as calm and polite as possible, tell her that you have nothing against her and that you would like to know why she doesn't like you. Try to settle whatever it is that's bothering her and apologize to her if she wants an apology (even if you don't think you need to). If she is holding a grudge, an apology may be the key to making her leave you alone, so long as it sounds like you mean it. It is very important that you stay calm and polite while you talk to her. This is what makes the difference between solving your differences and ending up in a fistfight.

Whatever you do, do NOT threaten her. She can use that to get you in a lot of trouble with the school, no matter what she did to you to deserve the threat. So if you get mad, just walk away before you can do more damage.

If your anger problems are really so serious that you don't think you can talk without fighting, option B is your best bet. Write her a letter that says all the things I just told you to say in person. Keep the letter polite and respectful! If it's a rude or nasty letter then it will only make things worse, and give her evidence to use against you.

Be sure to give it to her in person. If you have a friend give it to her, she will think you are scared of her and wont take your letter seriously. Instead, approach her, say something short like, "I know you don't like me, but I don't want you to be angry anymore. So I wrote you this letter to apologize. I'd say it all in person, but I don't want us to get mad at each other and I think that will happen if we try to talk right now." If she tries to tease you about being scared to fight or something, just shake your head and smile, or tell her to "Please read the letter." Then hand her the letter and walk away.

Hopefully the letter will calm her down a bit, and then you can talk to her again. This time you can ask her what she thought of the letter and ask if the two of you are square. Yet again, be calm and polite, and don't bring a bunch of friends.

Of course, both of these suggestions may fail, which brings us to option C: ignore her. It seems like this is what you've been doing for ages, so it probably wont do anything. Usually bullies get bored if you don't give them a reaction, but if she has a grudge for the door thing then it's a whole different situation. Still, ignoring her is an option so long as she doesn't threaten you, hurt you, or spread awful rumors.

If she does any of those things, it's time to move on to option D: get an adult involved. I know this is the last thing anyone wants to do, and it will just make this girl even angrier. But if she threatens you, hurts you, or starts to ruin your school life by spreading awful rumors, the situation is out of your control. Basically, if you ever feel afraid to go to school, it's time to get an adult's help. You need to talk to the school counselor or a teacher you trust when that happens. Explain the whole situation including the door incident and what she has done to make you ask a teacher for help. That adult will probably want to set up a meeting for you two to resolve your differences, which is why you should try it without an adult first. :P It also helps your case if you can say, "I tried talking to her and being nice, I even apologized, but she's still messing with me!" It shows that you have made an effort to solve this on your own and be the bigger person.

I hope one of these options is the solution to your problem, and I wish you the best of luck dealing with this girl. It's never fun to have people treat you like dirt, especially when they have stupid reasons for doing so. If you have another question about what I've written or need new advice because of a change in the situation, feel free to send me another question. :)

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today, i was hanging out with my new friend, we get along real well and i was telling her my life story and all the pain and struggles that i went through and my friend starts crying and telling me that i dont deserve any of this, i dont know about that but i am really insecure person and i have a low self esteem i really dont know why she cried because she didnt go through any of this, any clue on why?

She is an empathetic person. If someone has empathy, they will feel for you even if the things that happened to you never happened to them. Even if they have never been in the same situation, they can still imagine what it feels like, so if you were suffering then she can imagine your pain and is upset that you had to go through that. It means she cares about you and doesn't want to see you in pain. People like this are very special and make excellent friends; you should hold on to this one.

It might be hard for you to imagine that she could care about you this much, but if she sees something good in you then you should trust what she sees; sometimes our friends know us better than we know ourselves. I don't know you, but from her reaction to your story and how strongly you make her feel, I can tell that you are something worth knowing. You are someone worth crying for, and that's something special.

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Okay.

So I just found out 2 of my friends had a sleepover without me and are hiding it from me.

It's fine, because I know they're hiding it from me with good intentions. It hurts a little bit...but I'm pretty sure it's good intentions.

You see, they know my Mum would probably wouldn't let me go, so instead of giving me the pain of knowing they're having fun at a sleepover just pretend it isn't happening.

However I don't know how to react when I hang out with them tomorrow. Do I tell them I know about it? Do I pretend I don't know? I'm really stuck here, help?

The thing that makes it awkward is they both lied about what they were doing. One of them said she was out at dinner, then she said she had people over and couldn't come online.

If you're wondering how I know, let me say: MySpace comments are never secure. Someone will always read something you say to someone which you want to keep a secret.

Bring it up in a gentle way that shows that you aren't extremely offended about it and then discuss it with them. It's better that you have it out in the open and out of everyone's minds. Talk it out nicely for 15 minutes or so and then everyone can move on with a clear conscience.

If you don't, you'll be thinking about it the whole time and so will they. They are probably feeling awkward too because they think that you don't know and they are sort of betraying you. You will all have a much better time if you get it out into the open.

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OK so I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and i always thought he was super good looking but I kinda got used to it.

He always compliments me and says i am the hot one, but lately i have come to realise that he is actually way better looking than me. I took him to a party and i had 3 seperate people comment to me on how good looking he is, and then the next day someone else did.

Just now I was talking to a friend of his on msn and she said something along the lines of, i am not surprised you enjoy showing him off, he is HOT!

I suddenly feel like everyone is looking at us and wondering what the hell he is doing with me??
Especially it also doesnt help that he has a more posh job than me too...

Any advice would be good. Thanks

Looks aren't everything. So what if he is better looking than you? That doesn't mean he's going to suddenly run off with a model because you aren't pretty enough for him. If the two of you have been together for almost a year, there is obviously something in you that he is attracted to that goes deeper than the skin. He must love you for more than just your face or, if he is as attractive as you say, he would be with the most attractive girl he could find. But a relationship based on lust would never last for as long as a year. You should be proud of the fact that your boyfriend loves you for more than just appearances, and you should also be proud that such a handsome boy is yours to show off. ;D

Just ignore what everyone else is thinking or saying about the two of you and listen to your boyfriend. He knows more about why he's with you than anyone else.

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