Hey, I'm just here to help. So send me your questions, and I'll try my best! I'll try to give you two options (one as a "professional" viewpoint and the other as a personal one). I'm advanced in Psychology and Sociology, and I have enough free time to send good replies not short, quick ones without much thought. I'll type as much as I think I need to, to help you the best that I can (: Giving you all the advice and help that I possibly can, so you can make your own decisions!!
Hope to talk to you soon.
Feel free to E-mail me at any time if the question is more urgent or you just want someone to talk to. My E-mail goes straight to my phone which I have with me at all times.
E-mail: Emicharlie@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: United States
Age: 20
Member Since: July 9, 2012
Answers: 13
Last Update: October 22, 2014
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14/f
Hey everybody. FIRST OFF- I am not talking about now, I am talking about when I'm older!!
Various resources have scared me away from childbirth, and I was wondering- is it as difficult to adopt as I've heard? I plan on adopting a young child if I ever decide to adopt. I know that adopting an infant is a huge production, but what about a small child?
Also, which is more expensive (adoption or childbirth in a hospital)? Can anybody tell me approximately how much either would cost?
Also, are childbirth and pregnancy as horrible as I've come to learn they are?
Any answers are much appreciated, thank you! (link)
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There are three options for having a child:
1. Traditional (the infant goes through your vaginal opening)
2. C-section (the doctors perform a surgery to remove the infant from your womb)
3. adoption
Adoption is VERY expensive, but so is having a baby. year by year, the price is about the same. But the difference is a lot of the time giving birth is paid for by your insurance whereas adoption isn't.
As for the pain: don't worry too much. I mean, how bad can it be if people have like 12 kids traditionally?
In the hospital, if the pain is really bad, they will give you different choices of methods of removing the pain. My aunt's daughter basically slid out on her own without giving my aunt any pain at all, whereas I basically tortured my mother from the inside. It's different for each pregnancy. My brother wasn't too bad and my sisters were fairly easy. And I'm the middle child, not the oldest. So she got pretty easy, horrible, then two more easy ones.
When you're in labour, you can be given an "epidural" which they put in your back and it removes any pain from there down. During the nine months, you can be given both advice and medication to help the pain from your doctor. You get checked every so often, mandatory, so when you go if there's any issues or really bad pain just talk to them and they'll suggest something.
Yes, there are a lot of horror stories. But it's the 21st century now. Things are a lot different now than in the 1800s. in the 1800s you had to endure it all, and now you don't have to.
Although I am completely for adoption, and giving a home to children who need it, I suggest you have a traditional birth.
If you choose a C-section birth, you will have so rest for a lot longer than if you have a traditional birth. So I would say to try for that, rather than a C-section (unless something goes wrong and you need to have the surgery).
By the way, if I am correct: you don't get put to sleep for a C-section. You are awake during it but numbed.
Hope I helped!
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im 17 and my bf is 19 we have been together since i was 15 and we really want a baby right now, but i cant seem to get pregnant. idk what i should do, i know we can do it, we are both cery responsible and he has a full time job and im finishing school. but i cant get pregnant, idk if maybe my body is just doing the right thing and not letting me get pregnent but i really want a baby. more than anything in the world i want a lil baby girl (or boy) idc what i get. (link)
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I know how you feel, trust me I do (my boyfriend and I basically have ants in our pants we want a little one so bad... Especially when I'm menstruating and my hormones are going crazy).
When I was your age (which was only a couple months ago!) I wanted one so bad. When I turned 18, I wanted one even more! I was legal! I could have one without my boyfriend getting in trouble!
So that's the first thing I feel compelled to say: wait until you're 18. If you have an infant, while under the legal age, your boyfriend may get in a lot of trouble depending where you live.
Another thing I think you should do, is have your own place (the two of you) and get your diploma. Finish your diploma before you have the kid, because you can always go to college but going back to high school isn't as easy (and for some it's really embarrassing). Have your own place, not only for the baby but for the both of you. You may love each other, but what if you have some issues living together. You should work those out before adding more stress into the situation. (i.e. the baby).
Estimate about how much a baby costs a year, you can do so with some research online (you can google such things, and factor in anything and everything). Does your boyfriend make enough a year? for clothes, food, furniture, doctor visits, and so on? Or would the two of you not have enough to go on (pay for the bills; electric, water, rent. pay for clothes, food for you and him, or anything else that there may be to get). The money is the only thing stopping my boyfriend and I, the rest is pretty much worked out.
Are the two of you able to miss a lot of sleep? waking up every couple hours to take care of a screaming infant?
You said you've been trying to get pregnant, but you can't. I have a friend who got pregnant, but had a miscarriage. She did everything right, took care of it and everything. The only problem was her body wasn't ready, even though she was. So the fact that you can't get pregnant may be that your body isn't ready to have a child for nine months yet, and so you need to wait. As much as it sucks, you have to.
But on the bright side, when you're 100% ready and you still can't get pregnant: you can talk to your doctor about fertility medications. Then you will be prescribed some pills (most likely) that you can take that will boost your chances of pregnancy significantly.
Until then, you can talk to me about what it's like to take care of kids. I have two little sisters that I take care of 24/7. I don't pay for them, they are paid for, but I cook for them and I have raised them since they were born. I can't tell you much about pregnancy itself, just what I've learned not felt, but I am able to tell you what I go through every day taking care of them. They are now 6 years old and 7 years old.
Emicharlie@gmail.com is my E-mail if you have questions or anything about what it's like. And eventually, I can tell you any tips and tricks I've learned about getting pregnant. Like the dates you should have intercourse to increase the likelyhood, and such like that.
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Okay I have had two children. You think I would know this answer but I don't. I was on the depo shot for a year. It was causing very bad pain in my stomach so I switched to the pill. I missed I think two pills one of the times I took it later in the day. I am continuing to take the pill. I got my period the end of January like the 21st. It lasted 2 days very light spotting and just stopped. It is to early to take a pregnancy test. Here are my symptoms.
-I have been going to bed earlier at night.
-Extreme headaches.
-nausea (no vomiting but pretty close)
-pain in breast.Around nipple doesn't look darker but mine never were when i was pregnant.
-When I stand up I will have to pee so bad I cant even hold it.
-I haven't weighed my self but I feel bigger or bloated.
- My stomach will feel like its stretching sort of.
Thank you for your time. (link)
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I have high doubts whether or not you are pregnant, but if you are it is too early to tell.
You have not vomited, so it leaves me even more doubtful (even though not every pregnancy has vomiting).
My guess is you are just adjusting to the pills, and so I believe you should wait.
I just saw that you posted this in February.. So unless you gained more symptoms, you have probably decided you weren't pregnant.
But, since it's July, if you still think you are: you can take a home test, using the first pee when you wake up for the most accurate testing.
Good luck!
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My daughter thinks I expect her to be perfect in everything. I don't mean to convey this message. I just want her to do her best and maybe this is seen as wanting her to be perfect. Everytime I try to help her with something or give her advice, I receive a big backlash from her. Again, she tells me I am not her coach or I want her to be perfect. I am just trying to be a helpful mom. Any suggestions? (link)
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Perhaps you could try to sit her down and talk to her, if you haven't already. Try to explain that you don't want perfection but rather you believe she has a lot of potential and hope to see her perform at her fullest. Also, perhaps you could tell her how you're there to help, and want for her to succeed at the highest possible and that if you could assist her in achieving to a point even higher than she is now, because you believe you have more wisdom because you have a generation of experience and are able to portray your knowledge, perhaps she can get even more knowledge by listening than she would without you.
You've gone through the teenage years, though perhaps without the same technologies, emotionally and psychologically you've had experience with it.
You may not be perfect nor know all the right words, but the fact that you're truly trying is all that can be asked of YOU. She's not the only one who thinks perfection is asked of her, perhaps you're trying to be the perfect mother as well. All you can do is try to be there when she needs you, and help her when she can. Through the teenage years, all girls rebel against their mother. I'm sure you have as well, thinking your mother said or meant this or that, then when you grew to adulthood and had one of your own you began to understand when she had done or said.
It's not much different in this situation, so just be patient with her. Let her understand herself and the changes she's going through, then she'll be able to understand those around her. Including her loving mother.
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