I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 172841
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do you have to take a tampon out every time you pee? and doesn't it hurt if you take it out too early when its not fully absorbedyet? jw causei want to use tampons but i pee alot. (link)
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Pee comes out of a different hole than blood does. Not only do you not have to take the tampon out every time you pee, but you really shouldn't.
The little sheet of folded up info that comes in the tampon box will tell you how often it recommends you change them. Just like you shouldn't leave them in for days, you shouldn't change them every couple of hours, either (unless your flow is super heavy!).
When a tampon is dryish, it can feel uncomfortable coming out. When it has more blood in it, it slides out quite easily.
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most of my friends have this problem as well.
But, it's summer now, and i always wear a bathing suite.
on the top of my breast i have red stretch marks, I know they have creams for it, but my mother and I aren't open to things like that 'cause we aren't really close.
But i heard coacoa butter lotion takes stretch marks away.
Is this true? (link)
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Yep. Plain old ordinary cocoa butter lotion (preferably with Vitamin E) does wonders for stretch marks. It won't happen overnight, though.
Apply it twice a day - it will also have the nice side effect of limiting future stretch marks should your breasts have another growth spurt!
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I heard that some international calling cards dont really work too well, and when you get over in the country there are actually less minutes on the card that when you bought it in the USA for. I am going to Europe and will be there for about 3 weeks so i will need a rather large calling card or several of them and was wondering what are good ones to get? (link)
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Realistically, you are probably better off buying calling cards once you get to Europe. If you buy for the country you are in, you'll know exactly how much per minute it is to call home. When you buy calling cards from the USA and then travel abroad, things aren't always so clear cut.
You could always buy a couple of cards for emergencies, and then plan to buy calling cards as soon as you arrive in Europe. Any corner store will sell them (at least in the countries I've been to!).
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I want to start my own column. I know this site helps, but like a lot of people can give advice, like i want it to be like a ask erin column. you know? how can i do this? btw i'm 13/f if that helpss (link)
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This site is a great way to practice your advice-giving skills.
On many questions, they are posted to the public and anyone can answer. However, your individual answer would appear in your 'ask Erin' column.
If the advice you give is good enough, you'll find that people will soon begin to ask you private questions - meaning that you are the only person they are asking for advice.
If you are REALLY good, you might find that you are asked more questions than you have time to answer.
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when u have a tampon in and have to pee do u have to change it? (link)
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You have three holes - one for poop, one for pee, and one for blood/babies.
When you've got a tampon in, it doesn't have anything to do with the hole where you pee. You should change your tampon regularly (see the packet of instructions in the box), but probably not as often as you pee. There's simply no need to.
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14/f
i think i'm gay.
i've been thinking about it a lot lately and really think i am. like ok when all the girls in like fifth grade started liking guys and getting "boyfriends" i was just never interested. i know that could be normal for a kid but still. and like when i'd play with barbies or some doll like that with my friend a long time ago she'd have the boy and girl kiss, ha i'd have the two girls kiss mostly. and now my friends always sit around saying how hot guys are and i just sit there you know? i'm normally thinking about the girl nowadays. i've gone out with guys but it just never felt right to me. i alwyays felt uncomfortable.
but what i don' get is how on the internet most lesbians say they knew when they were like 7 or 10. i'm just now starting to realize it. maybe it's hormones? but i think it's more than that. maybe everyones different? what do you think? what should i do?
-anyone who answers thanks. =] (link)
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Sexuality is a tricky thing. Some lesbians do claim to have known from a very early age, while other women might not realise until they are well into their forties, fifties, or beyond!
All of these are normal.
People are socialized from a really young age to be heterosexual - this means that it's the 'normal' thing, the expected thing, etc. This can make it difficult to realise what your feelings might mean.
The only one who can define your sexuality is you. If you feel like you might be a lesbian, stay open to that and just see where your body/mind/heart lead you. It's quite normal to begin to question your sexuality in the teen years, as sex becomes a much bigger part of awareness.
One other thing to keep in mind is that many lesbians who do not come out (to themselves or others) until their twenties or thirties can look back on their childhood/teen years and suddenly 'see' they were gay from a young age...forgetting that at the time, they had only a vague idea or no idea at all!:)
I wish you the best.
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how can you learn to read lips?
or is just a practice sort of thing (link)
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Being able to properly read lips is a demanding skill. Some deaf people that choose (or are educated) to community orally - meaning speaking and reading lips - can still have difficulties, and they spend their whole lives reading lips.
Hearing people take in all sorts of information when they speak with someone - lip shapes, the words being said, how the words are said, facial expressions, etc. This makes it more difficult to concentrate solely on the lips...and you might look a little weird if you suddenly stopped making eye contact!
If you are interested in lip reading from a distance, this is even more difficult. I would suggest you going with your guy feeling rather than trying to pick out every word. You can learn a lot from watching people's body language, and there are a lot of great sites on the internet that offer info on this - though I think the best expert is always YOU. Your intuition is there for a reason, and it's probably based on a lot of small signals you aren't even aware of picking up!
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is england a country? (link)
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England is a country, yes. It's also part of Great Britain, which is four countries very geographically close to each other. These are England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland.
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I live in the uk and my sister for the summer wants to work in "camp america" ~ has anyone ever worked there?If so tell anything about it,your experience what it is like
But if you've been there your self what is it like??Your experience what kind of things do you do?? (link)
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'Camp America' is a company, not an actual place. You can think of it like a job agency. People who want to work at American summer camps send in an application, have an interview, get a visa, and spend the summer living and working on an American summer camp. Camp Counsellors USA is a similar programme. A great non-profit company that does the same thing is called BUNAC.
I worked at a camp in America for eight years in a variety of positions, ending up as the director. Camps are widely varied, but most involve a large outdoor element. This can mean living in a cabin or tent, and spending all day every day outdoors. Camps have every activity you can imagine, including: swimming, sailing, acting, dance, photography, outdoor skills, archery, biking, football, etc.
There are two types of counsellors. General counsellors spend most of their day with kids, perhaps supporting them in activities and participating in everything. It's a great way to bond with kids and gain great experience. Specialist counsellors are people with experience or qualifications in a specific area - this involves teaching the actitivity to different groups of children.
Camps cater to every sort of child - religious, disadvantaged, scout, well off, special needs, weight loss, etc. Some camps also specialise in working with kids in a specific area, like horseback riding.
Chances are it is too late for your sister to be able to go this summer. The application process for any of the organisations is quite long. She can do research now, and then ask for brochures next November. If she applies early in the new year, chances are great the company will be able to find a job for her. Her chances are hugely improved if she has recent experience working with children generally or in a specific area. She can use this year to build those skills. She will need to be at least 18 years old. (And, of course, she can still check with the agencies now to see if it is too late to apply.)
Camp is very hard work, but an incredible experience. It's life changing for many people. You make lifelong friends, learn new skills, and spend a lot of time being silly. There's nothing quite like it.
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my dad once told me that if i keep eating or chewing gym rather everyday that my teeth will be messed and fall out i'll have bad teeth
although i brush every day i use mouth wash and i only bascially chew trident gum the healthy kind yes i have some cavitys but that shouldnt matter so will my teeth fall out if i still chew gum everyday (link)
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Gum with sugar in it = bad for your teeth.
Gum without sugar = not bad for them.
It's that simple. Chewing non-sugar gum a lot will not have a negative effect on the health of your teeth. In fact, chewing gum increases the production of saliva.
Saliva can actually help neutralize the acid caused by bacteria - which means chewing non-sugar gum in this context can actually HELP your teeth.
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Hmm, okay in order to make my question short, I'll just ask one question and anyone willing to help, please give me your e-mail, AIM, YIM, MSN or some way of me being able to contact you.
Are there any bi, gay, or lesbian columnists on this site because I'm having trouble and issues with coming out [I'm bi and 14/f] and I would really like your help on how to deal with things and what to do...
No offense or anything but if you're not out, you're obviously not going to be able to help me [unless your friend goes/went through the same thing]
Thanks very much!!! (link)
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Feel free to ask questions to my inbox regarding any aspect of coming out. I don't give out my personal contact details, but I do have a forum if you are more comfortable with an informal type of conversation.
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does anyone know about thought waves and their frequencies and the fact that whatevre thoughts yo think will happen
is that true (link)
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There is a phrase that goes, 'Thought becomes words, words become action.' I do think this is true.
This doesn't mean that by thinking a strong thought, you'll automatically get some result. (Someone liking you, passing a test, etc.) Rather, it means that the power of thought is a pretty strong force.
For example, people who really believe they are capable of losing weight are much more likely to put in the effort to eat right and exercise - and will therefore lose weight. People who think they have no motivation, will never lose weight, etc are much less likely to follow through on their goals.
Thought is linked to how you feel about yourself and other people, and if you are the sort of person who will be thinking positive/negative thoughts - it will show in how you act. Again, not because the thoughts have any sort of magical power, but because if you are consistently negative or positive, your actions are likely to reflect this.
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I've never had sex before, but just bought my first vibrator. I want to know, if I use my vibrator,internally.. Will I no longer be a virgin? I'm having a religious conflict. I want to stay a virgin until I'm married, but I want sexual pleasure as well.
Please let me know. (link)
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You are a virgin until you have sex, however you define 'sex'. Whatever your definition, though, it does involve another person.
This means that any sort of masturbation, internally or not, does not make you lose your virginity.
In fact, knowing how to please yourself might go a long way towards helping you remain a virgin until you're married!
I wish you the best.
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I have my period right now. I really want to use my vibrater but if I do there would be blood everywhere. This would be gross. Is there another way to masturbate, or anything liek that? (link)
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Using the vibrator or your fingers to touch your clitoris should leave your sheets blood-free.
Or, of course, you can get a trashy towel you don't care about and do things your usual way.
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ok im a girl and homophobic. but not scared of gays but im scared of lesbians. am i still homophobic or what? i dont hate them or anything but i just get scared of them. and is being homophobic is bad?
(link)
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Homophobia has a pretty wide-ranging definition, but a lot of it is about prejudice based on someone else's sexuality.
You having a fear of a group of people, merely based on one general shared characteristic, does make you homophobic. The good thing is that you don't need to stay that way - and why would you want to? People are individuals and should be judged accordingly, rather than lumped into categories.
It might be helpful for you to think about what emotions are trigged when you think about lesbians - why do you suppose you might feel fear? How do you think you might lessen this fear?
It could simply be that it's a fear of the unknown. It's great that you seem to have an open mind and are willing to question your beliefs.
Living in fear of people who are all around you (you probably know lesbians without even realising it) means that you are closing yourself off from possible great people, who might make excellent friends. Keep your mind open and reflective, and maybe you'll manage to gain a different perspective on your fear and how to manage it.
I wish you the best.
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when you get your period, and you drink something that's cold (like milk, or water) does the temperature have anything to do with the amount of blood coming out?
my friend said during school that she couldn't drink the school milk because she is having her period, and if you drink something cold, more blood comes out. so what if you drink something hot? will that make less blood come out?
13/f (link)
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The temperature of things you eat/drink does not have any effect on your period. None at all.
In fact, there's really nothing you can do to increase/decrease the flow of blood. Your body works to its own time scales.
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hi, well i live in england, and was just wandering, what america is really like? is it like in the movies? because over here, its crap, everythin is grey, all the colours turn grayish, because of the weather(dark, dull windy etc). my uncle came back from new york recently and told me it was amazing, but he had to go so i didnt get to hear anymore. any help? (link)
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I live in England now so certainly empathize with you about the current greyness of it, but I was born in America and lived there for 21 years.
America is hard to explain to someone who hasn't been there. You've got plains full of nothing but corn and cows, huge mountain ranges in different parts of the country, giant forests, etc etc. You've also got parts of the country where it's hot/warm all year round, others that are warmish all year round, some which have all four seasons, and some which have all the seasons but HUGE amounts of snow and freezing temps in the winter.
To add to that, you've got cities, towns, and entire areas where you might only have a couple of people living in a huge empty space. You've also got some areas (though shrinking) where no one lives, though these are mostly protected lands.
You have people who had parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents enter the country from virtually every other country on earth, alongside indiginous people who've been there for ages.
In short, there's so much variety that it's hard to sum up in one easy catchphrase.
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I was just wondering about 2 things. First off, I have noticed alot of people look in your eyes when they talk to you & I tend to look at someones mouth more when we are talking. What is the difference & what does it mean? Also, how can you "read" someones eyes? All I see is a glassy eyeball. How can you tell how they are feeling by looking into their eyes? Thanks! (link)
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Body language is a really interesting thing. When people speak to someone who is making good eye contact, that person will subconsciously feel as though the listener is really interested in what they have to say. It can also be easier to speak to someone who is making good eye contact - imagine trying to speak to someone who never looked at you!
Some people who have slght hearing problems might look at lips without even realising why - it could be a way of helping themselves understand the conversation better. Or, you just might be someone who likes lips!
As far as 'reading' someone's eyes - by looking at body language as a whole, you can tell a lot about how a person feels. Crossed arms or crossed legs can indicate the person is not feeling very open towards you, for example. As far as eyes go, there is a whole school of theory about them - it's called NLP. This is short for Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
This is partly the idea that you can tell a lot about if a person is looking up, down, or either side. This can include knowing whether a person is visualising things, telling a lie, etc. You can find out a lot of info if you Google the topic.
Best of luck!
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Just wrote this to compliment you. You give such good advice. you tell it like it is. Oh yeah, and why do you like to give advice about tampons? I was reading your column and I saw that yu wrote that. Just wondering. Oh yeah, and am I writing to you to much? I mean, the whole frist page of your column has nothing but Triple G. I'm like a leech. I never let go until you put salt on me, and alot at that too.
$$$$$Triple G***** (link)
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Thanks for the compliments. Happy to have helped.
I give advice based on what questions people ask. I get a lot of young people asking about tampons, and I'm pleased to be able to offer them advice they might not be able to get anywhere else.
I'm happy to help people who have multiple questions, and can point out that there's no need to identify yourself by a nickname when you write unless you want to - you can remain completely anonymous.
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ummm hello,im 13 curently and when i was about 3 my sisters dressed me up as a girl for a joke to show my mom. (she had her girly friends over for thre night) anyway they used ballons for boobs.evr since i just wanted to see wut i would look like as a girl..ive wondered if i would be a prety girl lolz. anyway now that im older i can sneek in there bed room and get there makeup and maybe a tight shirt.im a skater and right now the style here is tight jean so i get girls jeans. thats all taken care of. but i dont kno how to make it look like i actually have boobs wut should i do?and for makeup how do i put it on right? (link)
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Well, you can buy a bra (or borrow one of your sister's, I guess!) and stuff it. This means putting tissue or other materials between your skin and the bra. This can sometimes look lumpy or bumpy, but a padded bra will keep you looking more natural.
Makeup is hard to describe. Do you have a female friend who might be willing to give you lessons?
Otherwise there are websites that can give you step-by-step instructions on what to do with the different types.
Best of luck.
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