I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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How does one deal with an illness that is so depressing, that you'd rather be dead than live with this shit?
My thing isn't gonna kill me, but, I may end up killing myself because of it. A year or 2 ago, I was planning on it, I even had a bridge picked out to jump off of. Its fucked up, I don't want to be in that mental state again. It could cost me my life. Now things are better, (location and financially) but now that this fucked up disease reared its ugly head again, after it was gone for a while, Those ugly, destructive thoughts are coming back. Back then, I didn't do it because it would crush my mom if I killed myself. But my mom is dead now, so I dunno, I'm kinda scared of what I might do to myself if this disease keeps with me.
So I guess my question is how do people do it? as in, living a full life with a fucked up disease? This isn't like, life altering/crippling or anything. But even if its not all that bad as some people. its more than I can handle. This makes me want to be dead more than anything I've faced. Things worked out in such a way that I got a break, for a while, now its back and I dunno what to do. I take pills, which worked for a while, but I guess not anymore. I'm more afraid of me ending my killing myself over it, than the damn disease. Anyway, I guess that's it. thanks for listening.
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Here's what you do. Visit an ER and tell them exactly what you told us. You are in crisis and having suicidal thoughts and in a bad place. You need a mental health team to help you because you are very unwell. If you are scared and know that none of these thoughts, actions are right then you know that you have to visit a hospital and have the psychiatrists on call there put you on a hold for 72 hrs and figure out what to do and give you your life back.
You mentioned several times here that you have a disease that you can't live with. I'm reading behind the lines here thinking that you have been diagnoses before with a mental health issue and nothing seems to be working with medication or otherwise. If this is the case you need to tell your doctor exactly what is going on and that what they have prescribed is not working.
You are as I said in a crisis and need to seek help immediately at a hospital. Enlist people you trust to take you there and help you with this. You will be happy in the end that you have. Your life whether you can see it yet or not has meaning and you are special and valued by those you know. Please get medical attention. Your world will become a lot better if you do. The thoughts you are having aren't normal and are big signs of this.
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My name is Svetlana and I am 28 years old. I live with my old parents and take care of them. My dad is old and it hard for me to deal with his personality. Lately, he humiliates me and my mom, he is rude to us and sometimes screams at us. He forgets everything, always angry and never satisfited with anything. I understand that he is really old now and deals with a lot of pain, maybe even with depression but it's hard for me not to take his words and actions to heart. My mom also takes it to heart and I always calm her down, I'm like her psychologist. But I'm hiding my own pain deep inside and I cry a lot when no one sees me.I have severe anxiety and sleep disorder already five years. My dads dramas costs me nights of not sleeping or having serious panic attacks during day time. I am afraid that I might face heart problems in near future. My chest is already hurting sometimes when I worry or in stress. As an example, my sister who lives in Russia has severe heart and anxiety problems. In her 30's she was looking after her husband parents like a nanny, and as much as I know they wore hard people to deal with. No one really helped her or looked after her while she was assisting her husband parents. Since she had no support, she was hiding her anxieties and worries deep inside. Later when those people died she started not to feel well. She woke up one morning and fainted, her face got paralyzed and she could nearly stand on her feet. She was taken to hospital that morning and was diagnosed with heart attack. Doctor told her not to work physically and to stay away from stress. Right now she is on disability and spends all her time at home. I am worried about my health because me and my sister are identical and we have same problems with nervous system. Right now it seems I'm walking down her path. I'm afraid that I will be facing heart attack and disability in near future. Is there any hope for me not to end up like this just like her? What can I do in my situation? (link)
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Even if you have a twin it doesn't mean that you will have the same health issues. That said, there is genetics to consider. Stress will always manifest itself on the body or cause you to feel physically tense and uncomfortable. I have a strong feeling that this is what is happening now and that the sleeping issues, anxiety you feel and tightness in your body is related to that.
However, you can always see a doctor and tell them what you are concerned about and ease your mind. You have to tell yourself that your father isn't well and that's where his behaviour stems from. It sounds as though he has dementia and there are many forms of that.
I think what you need to do is reach out to his doctor and tell him/her that you have become the primary caregiver for him and your sister is disabled and can't help you. Tell them you are drowning and the stress is taking its toil.
They may be able to find you resources and people who can come in to help. You can also start searching for people on your own or offer a job to come in and care for him for how many days and hours you need at a time if you know of someone who can do it and needs a job. You shouldn't be expected to do this all on your own any longer. His doctor may be able to get you a personal support worker or nurse that could come in. You have to ask about what is available to you because there is a solution.
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How do i give my self a bruise no makeup and quickly no makeup and also i wanna know how to cut my eyebrow and leave a scar in the most painless way i wanna know pls answer 🙏🙂 (link)
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Why would you want to do such a thing anyway? Perhaps you should see a doctor about these thoughts because this is not normal behaviour nor thinking. Furthermore, this site is not for this kind of request and none of the counsellors here will provide any kind of response nor advice for what you are asking about. In other words get help and move on.
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How did you learn you had a mental illness?
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It depends on the person and the situation. There is no blueprint. Let's take depression for example. We may have some idea of what that looks and feels like but for each person it hits differently and is diagnosed differently. An individual's diagnosis is always different and based on factors that solely exist with them if that makes sense. No two people have the same experience being diagnosed or same set of factors that led to the illness either.
Statistically with the more complicated disorders such as bipolar, schizophrenia, personality disorders etc etc. it's a case of being brought to the hospital by family, police or those around you who believe you are in crisis. You're then put on. 72 hour hold fo evaluation and may spend quite some time (months) getting better in a hospital setting.
Mental illness is nothing like it's portrayed in media and on TV. Most people have their first experience with it while in crisis and don't think that there is anything wrong because the illness has convinced them that there isn't.
A lot of disorders build towards crisis slowly and people don't always see the signs until having been brought in to a hospital in crisis. It often is the first meeting they'll ever experience with a psychiatrist or in a mental health ward.
The short answer to your question is that everyone is different and learns of a problem like this in ways that are unique to them and it's not a cookie cutter scenario with everything unfolding the same way. Hopefully, this answers your question that every person with a mental health issue has a set of circumstances that are their own.
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I'm 41/m. and for years, I've had this nightmarish condition of bleeding from my junk from getting aroused. I don't even have to ejaculate. NOPE, just some blood in my junk causes bleeding, most of the time. The urologist just plays it off as benign and "you'll be fine." But if I can't even get an erection without bleeding, how the hell am I supposed to ever have sex again?!?!??. And the doctors say "no big deal, go home". Let alone sex..., can't even clean the pipes once in a while! It generally doesn't hurt. But what hurts 10000 times more, is that I can't get my jollies, mostly, ever. And , that fucking kills me Psychologically. At this point, I'd be better off being impotent. I could understand some super old dude having to deal with this, but I'm 41. I should have plenty of "plowing" years ahead of me. BUT NOPE. I'm fucking cursed! And its really taking
down a dark, suicidal road. Why do I want to live with a literal fear of getting aroused? I'll wake up with a boner and I'll do what I can to make it go away and pray that there won't be blood when I go pee. This is what my life has been reduced to. I'm having a real hard time with this. I just dont know how I can handle this. I can't afford a psychologist. Meanwhile, everything else is going great in my life, obviously I can't have a girlfriend. but, finances and my living situation is pretty good. Long story short, the thought that I'm gonna have to be celibate for the rest of my life just kills me. And by celibate, I mean, I can't even "get off" without bleeding out of my dong and maybe a trip to the hospital if its bad enough. So, yeah... why would anyone want to live like this? Is there really anything else? Yeah, it sounds shallow. "help others" etc... I can't really think about much else besides how worthless I am and how I'd be better off just dying. If my body is so fucked up, I can't even get off once in a while. Which is a damn shame because, I've worked so hard to get out of being fat, and now I'm actually fit, and NOPE, God just said a big "FUCK YOU, YOU WON"T BE HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO!" I really feel like a worthless pile of shit. I know I'm not a bad guy or anything. But this problem FUCKING KILLS ME! Doctors all tell me "its fine, you'll live." Easy for them to say, since they're not experiencing this. Anyway, Not sure what I'm looking for here. Some kind of insight or advice? I really wouldn't know what to say to someone with this problem. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you. (link)
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If you have blood coming out of your genitals urinating or at any other time that's a sign something isn't right physically. You don't need a psychologist you need your GP to refer you to a urologist or someone who is going to actually help you. You could even go to an ER and tell them this is happening when you urinate or try to engage in anything sexual.
They can figure out what is going on and fix it. This is something you should not put off. You aren't permanently screwed or have a defective body either. You just need proper medical care.
If your doctor keeps sending you home and isn't treating the issue lay into them and insist they take it seriously or you'll find a doctor that can. Don't hesitate to ask for a referral or go to an emergency room to get checked out. Any time you see blood like this when you pee or have a normal erection there's something wrong there that really needs to be looked after. Blood is a really important sign something is wrong and should be looked into pronto. If the doctor doesn't take it seriously find one that will.
As far as a girlfriend goes I don't think you're screwed there or will remain celebate forever or have fears that you are having now. You aren't cursed but rather someone with a problem that needs to be seen to and rectified.
NOTHING I REPEAT NOTHING is worth feeling suicidal about or thinking of that. This is just an issue they can help heal. If you're feeling this way you need to tell someone about it and visit an ER immediately because those thoughts aren't normal and you could be and or are in crisis and need intervention. I think it's time you did go to the emergency for both of these issues as feeling suicidal is something that you need help with and intervention as you are in crisis. You need to be observed and helped by professionals and placed on a hold so they can get your health and life in order.
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So I found out that I was Autistic a few months ago and loud noises bother me especially fireworks and I was wanting to try to go to this year and I am already preparing for a lot of people and for the noise, but my main concern is the fact that the fireworks look like their falling on me . I know there not but it just seems like it . I just want to be able to enjoy it like everyone else and not be scared. I haven't been able to go since I was 12 and I am now 32. I want to be able to accomplish this and get over fear. My mom says why don't you just watch the neighbors do their fireworks that way you can back inside if it scares you because they do them every year ,but I hate missing the big Annual fireworks because of my fear. What does everyone else think? (link)
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I think your mom has a good suggestion because she knows that with it you have an out or place of immediate safety without anxiety. However, you would prefer to see the bigger annual display and I can't say I don't blame you. July 4th celebrations of Canada Day ones on July 1st are very impressive.
While I'm not Autistic and don't know too much about what anxiety, fears and triggers you have I do know one thing that could help. You should go with your family and friends whom you know for sure will protect you from anything you are feeling and make things feel safe and okay. That's the primary thing I would do.
The next thing you have to do is convince yourself of what is true and what isn't and remind yourself of it while watching that these fireworks cannot fall on you and the noise has no ability to hurt you at all. If you do that and have your family there with you that will work.
I actually would go against mom's "safe" suggestion even though it was well intended. Why? Sooner or later when your parents aren't around and you have to go about doing things like this alone you'll learn and know from doing this now that you can/did handle it and in your mind can see for next time that it's safe.
I wouldn't for a second allow yourself to be denied the experience to see this display. The desire to go is the main part to have reached and the finding of people to go with that can make you feel secure is really the only other issue. You just have to keep reminding yourself whenever you feel the way you described over and over that it's not rational and cannot and will not happen. Seeing is believing no pun intended in this case. You'll feel bad if anything stood in your way to go.
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20/M
I'm a pretty social person. In the sens I feel comfortable with people and with large groups.
However something frets me a bit. I don't like going out. Oftentime when I go out I'm just thinking how much I'd like to be home where I do everything I want to and daydream as much as I want.
And this is pretty confusing because this is not by spending your days home you live life right ? You end up getting stuck in a rut maybe ?
And I've been trying to force myself to stay a bit longer each time. But I generally end up feeling burned out even more. And just like I don't fit in and that it's just not for me. From the outside nobody sees that of course but this can be pretty draining.
Do you think I should try even harder and that there is some kind of breaking point I'm gonna pass ? Or should I do how I feel and stop trying so hard ?
English is not my first langage btw sry if there are some mistakes
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This sounds like an anxiety problem and perhaps agoraphobia. That's the fear of people, crowds or situations in which you feel difficulty or no control over or how to leave. You'll often never leave the house because of it. That may be your issue and has only recently cropped up.
What you need to do now is see your doctor. Describe to them what you did here and see what ideas and solutions they come up with. This isn't normal behaviour and cause for some concern and to be looked out.
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17/F here. Earlier this year, I finally stood up to this girl who'd been bullying me ever since we were freshmen. We were at school, in the hallway on the second floor. She was mocking me when I finally lost it and did what I'd been dreaming of doing for awhile now. I hauled off and punched her in the face. She went reeling back towards the stairs, fell down them, and broke her arm in the fall to the landing below.
I was expelled and had to finish out the school year at a private school that was willing to take me in the middle of a semester. I was also arrested and charged with assault. My parents have hired me a lawyer and he's managed to work out a deal that'll have me serving a month in juvie.
Court is now a week away and I ought to be scared about being locked up. But my guilt outweighs my fear. I have never felt this guilty in my entire life. I never meant to hurt her that badly. I just wanted to be left alone. My friends all say I shouldn't feel bad for her and that I'm getting a raw deal here. Am I? I don't know. I just wish I knew what to do with all this guilt because I have to live with what I've done and I don't know how. (link)
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I can understand an assault charge but not being locked up in juvie. That's a bit extreme for punching someone who was bullying you. You wouldn't be here if it were in self defence. I don't think you should feel guilty either based on how much abuse you took for years.
I think your lawyer needs to find someone who knows you very well and has documented the bullying and can prove it for you such as a teacher, counselor or whomever you have told about it in the past. They can sway the judge so he knows this was isolated and the exact reason it happened.
It needs to be explained what culminated this and that you had no intention of knocking anyone down a flight of stairs making them fall on a landing and to break their bones. In the moment you felt pressure and reacted in a way you shouldn't over pent up anger.
Declaring the truth when you speak in court and owning up to it and the reasons it happened and that you feel badly for the other person and know hitting someone wasn't the right thing to do nor did you intend for this to occur might make them reconsider the sentence.
I'm not sure why your lawyer had to broker a deal either and what they originally wanted you to serve. He/she is your ally and the one who understands your situation best so you need the truth and the guilt to come out to him so he can defend you.
It sounds as though he has your best interest if he worked out something far less severe and it's only 1 month (31 days) in a facility. I would take ownership of what happened and be a model citizen there and put this behind you. If the judge sees that you have learned from this that's important. Feeling empathy for the other person despite the bullying for what she went through is key. Guilt isn't a bad feeling if it makes you genuinely sorry for what you did and to change.
Did you get a raw deal here? I'm not sure because the judge probably wanted a heftier sentence and your lawyer got it reduced. That's not a raw deal. It's actually one that benefits you long term.
Where you did suffer is that you did this after being bullied for ages but chose to hit her without being hit first or to do so in self defence. It's bad that all the blame is now on you and this person behaved the way they did but yes causing the injuries and what happened is on you ultimately. That's the raw deal if there is one that you paid for what she started long ago by hitting her and causing what occurred.
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Hi. I'm a 16 y/o girl. I guess you could say I'm generally a pretty good kid. I've never been in any major trouble. So, I've never been grounded. Most of my friends, on the other hand, have been grounded at least once in their lives. I'm actually curious as to what it's like. Like, to the degree that I find myself daydreaming about what I could do to get myself grounded so I can finally find out. Am I weird for doing this? I'm sure my friends would think I'm psycho. What do you think? (link)
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Doing things just to get a reaction or piss people off especially your parents to find out what this would be like is a bad idea. The fact is they did something that genuinely earned them the right to be grounded and you haven't come close to that in real life.
I would be proud of being that kind of person that your parents trust and doesn't look for or find themselves in trouble. Each parent parents a child differently and deals with situations and trouble their child causes or disciplining them differently. Your parents know what works for them and for you if that makes any sense.
I think your best bet to find out how the other half lives is to ask your parents why your friends get grounded when they do something wrong and you don't. Explain that it's common with them and you don't know why or what that's like. It's an honest question and doesn't mean you're psycho either. Wanting to know about something that has never happened to you or perplexes you is a natural thing. If you want to know ask them.
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I'm 15 and a sophomore in high school, and this whole time, I felt like the pandemic never really affected me this entire time, but recently I saw a video and in that video a Chinese woman, like me, was saying how she was actually really depressed in high school and never realized, and it made me think. After a few months of the pandemic, I think, is when it really started. I never want to get out of bed in the mornings, but I don't want to go to sleep at night. I stay up really late because I don't want to wake up the next day. I don't want to play tennis or practice the piano or hang out with my best friend. I didn't really keep in contact with any of my school friends except for my best friend who lives down the street. She sometimes drags me out for walks and I enjoy them when I'm on them, but I never want to go. I spend pretty much all day in my room telling my parents that I have a ton of schoolwork, which I have a lot of, but not that much. They don't notice anyways. But I don't want to study or do homework, and even though I've never really like school, I've never had a problem forcing myself to do the work and study before because it mattered to me. I think my grades still matter to me, and on some level, I realize that my future is important, but I just can't bring myself to care anymore. I thought it was just procrastination, but when I think about what will happen if I don't keep my grades up, I don't feel much of anything like I used to. I've always fought with my mom a lot and we never see eye to eye, and my relationship with my brother isn't all that good, but it feels like the slightest thing they do annoys me. Even my tennis coach and my dad have begun to bother me, and I've always been close to them. I'm not failing any classes, but I've been struggling in Algebra II Honors and my teacher recommended me for a lower level next year but I still don't feel anything! I'm disappointed, but if it was a few years ago or heck, even last year, I would have been crushed. I cried from failing one test last year, and I don't feel anything now about a couple of failed tests or low grades, just a passing though of oh, I'll make it up next time. And wow, writing it all out makes it sound really serious but here's the thing. I don't FEEL depressed. My dad still makes me laugh. I still enjoy the little amount of time I spend with my best friend. I still enjoy reading and watching my favorite shows. I enjoy tennis although I can never make myself feel excited to go. I've always hated piano even though I've been taking it for 11 years now, so that's not anything new. I'm also fairly sure that my period is starting soon, so this might just be a huge hormone-induced, emotional rant, but I honestly have no idea. Am I actually depressed? I know I'm not suicidal- I hate pain and I'm kind of terrified of it, actually, but am I right in thinking suicidal and depressed are two separate issues? I feel like I'm overreacting. My parents would probably tell me I'm overreacting. But we've been doing all this stuff about racism against Asians and the pressure that's put on them and I just wanted a second opinion. Whoever reads this and responds, thanks for taking the time out of your day to help some stranger who might not even know what she's talking about. (link)
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Trust me, you definitely are aware and know what you are talking about. This isn't about boredom or going stir crazy from the pandemic. There's something here that has existed on some level with you before this that is now taking on a front and center role and revealing itself as a bigger issue you can't ignore.
You do sound as though you have depression. Some of the big signs of that is lack of interest in anything where you were before, sleeping patterns drastically changed, no desire, irritability that doesn't match up with a real reason and the crying or constant emotional changes whether menstruating or not. I don't think it has any difference.
If your moods keep changing from feeling elated and then to the point you can't even get out of bed or for a walk that's not normal and cause to get checked out by a doctor and is concerning.
People who have bipolar disorder have constant fluctuating moods from highs to lows and rapidly cycling from one to the other. Not all types of bipolar disorder means a person will have grandiose ideas, visions or delusions and this may or may not be a case where you have this issue with just the moods and going from happy to lowest of lows constantly.
Only a psychiatrist can diagnose this issue. You usually have to get a referral from a family doctor which during a pandemic is hard unless on their roster and even then judging if it's cause to concern during a telephone visit only is tough.
I don't think you are in crisis but if you're feeling too overwhelmed and can't enjoy normal life and have all these moods that are swinging there's no problem at all with checking in with an emergency room because that puts you in the hospital system and they can figure out how to treat the issue if it needs to be.
You have to tell your parents what is going on and that it's not just the pandemic but you in no way shape or form feel normal and have constant moods from happy and elated to lowest level of depression and would like to check this out.
Your friend is doing a great thing by trying to get you out of the house walking. One of the things you can do is make a schedule of doing that with them every day at the same time even if you don't want to as it will help.
Also, try and find something you love be it art, movies, writing, gaming or what really has your interest and do that daily as much as you can to fill time.
The pandemic has been really rough on kids especially those who had mental health issues to begin with. Depression and having suicidal thoughts don't always go hand in hand and are not intertwined so please don't worry or think because you're depressed that it will happen with you.
It can play a factor but definitely is not a part of everybody's experience. In fact, in yours if you are depressed and diagnosed as that or even bipolar medication and therapy treat that and there is zero worry that you can't have a normal life or an even better one than you did before.
I have heard how Asian families can be tough on their kids when it comes to academics. What you have to realize is that you are doing your very best and sometimes falling short or failing is a good thing as it makes you better at something in the long run. Focus on doing your best and don't stress about it. It's all you can really do.
I hope you will tell your parents about this and even go to a hospital ER and ask for help if you can't get it from your normal doctor. It's better to see what the issue is than not acting. You have taken an important first step now. Feel free to inbox me with what you find out.
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What is Modalert prescribed for? (link)
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Known by several names it has been used to treat narcolypsy, Schizophrenics and anxiety. However, it does have some pretty bad side-effects and studies against it being used. Doctors tend to know how it should be. This Wikipedia link will tell you all you wanted to know: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modafinil
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I wrote the cops a long (8 page) thank you letter after they stopped me from suicide.
I’m embarrassed to send it because it’s long, quirky, and informal.
It’s a huge deal to me to be treated well by the cops. The police department has helped my family many times also. I want them to know how grateful I am. I want their superiors to know what a great job they did.
I can’t decide what I should take out, or if I should just send it and have them be glad it’s a thank you letter, not a lawsuit like they usually get. (link)
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I think what you should do is take the points you want to make to your psychiatrist or counselor and/or lawyer and have them draft a letter to the police on your behalf thanking them for turning your life around and preventing suicide.
There's nothing to be embarassed about in thanking them but they may be weary of an 8 page letter especially if it rambles because quite often a rambling letter from a person with the issues you had and they intervened on may make them think you're still not stable. Anything written can be used by people to gauge your thought process.
Also, if you have been charged or have a recent case or hospitalization they initiated it's best that a doctor, lawyer or counselor write a letter on your behalf because they know what to include and what not to talk about and what your treatment and their involvement was. There's a lot you may not be aware of as having occurred if in mental health crisis.
Having them write the letter thanking them highlighting milestones and points you want to make is the best way to go because it carries a ton of weight coming from an expert on your health and situation. Nobody can misinterprit it or pass judgment that way.
Your intentions are pure but this must not come across as overly long or without clear focus. An 8 page letter can do more harm than good especially if it's quirky, odd or anything they can possibly twist to mean not well. If dealing with the police let the docs do it.
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When I started college I noticed that I was feeling kind of down. I was at a new school so I felt very shy and didn't want to talk to people. It got worse and after a while I didn't want to go to my classes anymore. I knew something was wrong so I went to see a psychologist and she told me that I have depression and anxiety. She also said that I've had it for so long that I didn't even realize it was there. My doctor then put me on antidepressants. My question is, since I've been depressed for so long is it possible for me to get better? Or is this just a part of who I am now and my personality? Thanks (link)
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Good question! With time and the right treatment and medication there's no reason why you cannot be well and be a high functioning individual. While depression and anxiety will be there it will become like a warning light on your dash board where you're awareof it but if you stay on top of it won't become an issue where you cannot function period. The treatment the doctor has placed you on can get you well no question.
The thing you have to be aware of is that anti-depressants take quite some time to actually kick in. It's not going to be an immediate feeling of sudden wellness when you first take them. It takes awhile for them to kick in and do the work they were prescribed for. You may feel discouraged for awhile at first.
Anxiety and depression are liars and essentially passing themselves off as you and your presonality. It's not who you are or who you will remain or any part of the real you. It's just an illness that when treated won't have the ability to cloud your view of the world and of yourself.
While the illness will always be there it's in the background like a warning light on your dash board. You know it's an issue but as long as you are out in front of it and monitoring the situation it won't be an issue. As long as you follow threatment there's no reason you can't be happy and high functioning.
The best thing you could do for yourself right now is to keep a daily diary. In it write down the meds you took and their dosages and how you feel every day. By doing this you develop a pattern and can walk into your next doctor's meeting know exactly how the pills make you feel and or don't.
Much of this is about dialing in the proper dosages of pills that will work in concert with eachother to keep you well. Also, be sure to write down any possible triggers of anxiety or depression and what you were doing when you felt X or Y because that will help a psychiatrist really help you. Hang in there with them it will get better. Don't be afraid to be too vocal either with a doctor about what you are expieriencing.
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I'm 20/f. I have social anxiety, so whenever I meet new people my voice shakes and I feel so nervous. This is embarrassing because I want to appear like a strong, confident person but instead I feel like I'm timid or weak. I always worry about what people's first impressions of me are. How can I be more relaxed when meeting new people? (link)
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You can't control what anyone thinks of you but you can influence it. If you show people you are genuine and interested in knowing them and are friendly and put yourself out there a bit you'll get results. If you come across as timid or worse unapproachable you'll have issues. Be open to everyone and talk to people you are interested in knowing. The thing is they're all as shy or concerned with what others think too.
If you're too concerned with what others may or may not think about you you'll drive yourself bonkers. It's something you have no control over and being too concerned with it hurts you in the end. Don't worry about it because the people you're supposed to be friends with won't judge.
The thing you need to do is find a therapist to talkto about this issue and get help with making friends and over your fear of rejection. You also need to join student council or clubs where you can meet all kinds of people who are different than you. Those clubs or student government forces you to connect with people you ordinarily wouldn't.
Drama and improv courses are good too because they teach you problem solving skills and how to work with people you don't know or who are different to reach a set of goals. I'm not sure if they have taken it online but Second City has a social anxiety improv class as do some other theater companies. It doesn't have to be an expensive course because they're all good for accomplishing what you need to without judgment.
Also, there must be people under your nose that you haven't noticed or thought could be potential friends. You should reach out to them because quite often people who also need friends are the most sincere and best matches.
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I tend to get depressed, but I don't really know why. My therapist said it has to do with the fact that my dad was an alcoholic growing up. My childhood felt very unstable and there was a lot of arguing in my house. My dad finally got help a few years ago and he stopped drinking, so we have a better relationship now. I also moved out, so I thought having my own place would give me peace and calmness. However, I still feel this sadness hanging over me, especially when I'm in my apartment alone. I always longed for that happy family life where we did things together and had fun. However, my family and I are not very close and I never feel like I have their support, which makes me very sad. I also live in the same neighborhood where I grew up so I have a lot of bad memories from my childhood. I'm wondering if maybe I just need a change of scenery, like if I moved far away from here and started fresh would my depression go away? I'm trying to figure out what's going on (link)
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The therapist may be right but it's not the full story. I would approach your family doctor the soonest you can get in. Tell them exactly what you told us leaving nothing left unsaid. You may have depression and need treated for it. It's a medical issue and nothing of your making.
You should keep a chart of how often you go from happy to the absolute lowest you're feeling and write down in a ledger exactly what you feel in that instance. This helps them figure out how often you swing from one to the other. It rules out bipolar disorder and other mental health issues and establishes how rapid your moods shift and why. They will be able to figure out exactly what is going on whereas the therapist can't.
There are definetly issues even if depressed that you haven't been able to process or cope with surrounding your dad's addiction. When talking to a doctor or your therapist reach out to them for support groups and other resources and let them empower you as you need to let all of it out and have support of people who understand and have lived that too.
If you have depression a change of residence won't change what is going on with an illness but combined with treatment may make you happier. I think you also have to get empowered to the point that you can deal with your family situation and start to heal yourself and in turn them by leading by example.
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I have a story that I want to share with everyone, but I don't know where to find forums to do that, or where to submit them. See, I did LSD a few years ago while I was also on Lithium. I looked at message boards and stuff and a lot of people had shared their horror stories of mixing the two, but I didn't listen because there were also a few stories where they wound up being okay. I feel like I should share my experience with people because I am mentally screwed indefinitely as a result and I don't want this to happen to anyone else. I can't remember the site I visited back then. Thank you in advance. (link)
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Have you spoken to your psychiatrist? That would be the best place to start. They will know of resources and places you can share your story with other people or get it published or give a talk. Also, I'm not so sure you're permanently screwed. Have you spoken to your doctor at length about what occured? Maybe there is something they can do to make your life better. I know a lot about Lithium but not about being on LSD or other drugs. I was always advised never to drink alcohol or substances with it.
You might also want to look into local chapters of Mood Disorders Associations because they would be very interested in your story and there would be a way to do so or even volunteer your time helping other people.
There is a national U.S. association that publishes anonymously and or in a magazine with your byline stories. That may be what you are looking for but it lacks the ability to interact with others. https://www.nami.org/get-involved/share-your-story
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I am days away from reaching 18 years of age. It’s very nervewrecking because it’m almost in my last stage of adolescence. I know that I still have a lot more to learn, but for the last few days, I feel very sad. Changes will happen for the better, but I feel like it’s overwhelming me more and more each day. My family always keep telling me to “act like a traditional lady” and they always splan everything out for me. I get that it’s part of our culture to appeal and create a good image as a lady, but to me, it’s a bit weird and it sounds like I’m born to impress people. I am willing to grow as a person that I know I will be, and not the person people want me to become. It has taken a toll on me to the point where I stopped doing daily activities that I used to love doing, even freshening up or dressing nicely feels like a chore. I rarely talk to my mother since she’s always busy and she has her own problems too. I don’t want her to have her to listen to me because she might tell me that i’m overreacting and that i should be thankful because she’s still able to feed me. I can take any criticism towards my feelings and thoughts. (link)
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I think there's more to this than the pressures of adolescence and growing up. That doesn't help but it appears that this is a mental health issue to get properly diagnosed. You should see your family doctor. When a person stops enjoying things they love or have a passion for and suddenly stop enjoying life it's a sign that something is wrong.
You may have depression but you may also have a mood disorder. In the case of bipolar disorder a person exhibits depression and has a total lack of interest in things they really enjoyed or every day life. They also have moods that range from very dark, to normal and then into mania which is an euphoria that doesn't die down. In that state you may have grandiose ideas or be out of touch with reality. These changes happen over a course of two weeks and need to remain solid like that this long for it to be bipolar disorder.
Not everyone with the disorder will experience manic episodes as a lot of people have the type where it's just moods rapid cycling from depths of depression back to happy and constantly rapid cycling without relief. Both are treatable as is depression and other mental health issues,
You really need to get before your family doctor and tell him/her exactly what is going on with sudden depressed feelings and moods all over the place and have them figure out whether there is anything wrong and refer you to a psychiatrist to confirm and treat it if there is.
The other thing is to understand your parents mean well but that you have to make mistakes and figure things out for yourself but do so in a way it won't embarass them and that reflects on your culture. Be who you are and let the chips fall where they may as that's really all you can do.
If you go around trying to be the picture perfect image of what you think they want you to be you'll be miserable. You have to get in tune with who you are and your own self worth. You're here to do much more than impress people. You may not know your purpose yet but it will unfold naturally. Forget this other stuff and let yourself be. You don't need to have all the answers either. Nobody truly does.
Also, a lot of times with mental health issues it's quite common that people neglect hygene and appearance or find it a complete chore. Even if your mother is busy she's not too busy to help you. She needs to know what is going on and where all these feelings stem from and for how long it's been an issue. She's the one who can get you to the help you need. It's better to be honest than suffer further with this.
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About me : M 22
So recently I've been having some really weird thoughts and idk if it's anxiety or fear or everything combined I'm incessantly worrying a lot about my mother and sister whenever i try to relax or when I'm trying to sleep i keep getting these thoughts where the people i don't like (scums that i have encountered in my life ) are trying to have their way with my mother and sister it's gotten so worse that this is the first thing that comes to my mind when i wake up and i just can't stop it and i try to be constantly busy in-order to avoid them and i never want this to come true and I'm afraid of these thoughts and idk what to do.
I know that this would never ever happen and yet I'm haunted by these thoughts in fear that it might somehow happen and they would get violated or they would leave me for them .
And I'm not a crazy person that believes in nonsensical stuff (ironic) but the ting that makes it worse is The Law of Attraction (things you think a lot happens whether you want it or not) and it has worked for me so this just adds to my fear of losing them and something happening to them and my sister is quite beautiful and she gets a lot of attention from people and I'm just afraid for her.
I tried to introspect and confront these thoughts but it just left a bad picture in my mind so I'm here.
(link)
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Where do these thoughts originate from? They aren't grounded in reality nor are normal. It's fear but it has to have a beginning and an end. It hasn't always been something that was there with you or that you were thinking about. I'm worried about your mental health as it is totally irrational.
Secondly, dreams are thought pictures. When you go to bed your brain doesn't shut off. Everything you think about during the day or have fears of or burried can come out as a dream or nightmare as the case may be. It can't hurt you and it cannot come true in real life.
I think what you need to do is find a therapist to talk to about this fear of something happening to both of them or people you love and work through this. Also, talk to both of them about your fears and try to figure out how this strarted and how to quell it.
You also have to deal with "people you don't like" or "men who are scum" and thoughts about that and bad experiences and hopefully let go of all of it. You know it's not normal which is good as it gives you a starting point for addressing this issue and the fact that these feelings aren't rooted in reality and can't harm anyone except for the person thinking it. It's an obsessive compulsion.
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Where do I begin. I have been single since I was 21 (I am now 29). There has been no prospects and not for the lack of trying. My life feels empty.
It started valentines day. Usually I am sad. This year.. there was no feelings. Nothing. Empty. Dark.
Today I realized how I have lost hope.. in love, in ever having a family. My life feels empty and I feel like I don't have anything to look forward too.
My therapist says she doesn't think that my story is over, and that I will find someone, she has hope for me. I just don't know how to see that hope for myself. I have been crying for 8 hours on and off. I don't want to end life..and never would but I don't know how to live like this when all is hopeless.
No love life.. and often home alone. Friends are all busy living their lives or enjoying their family. I've talked to friends before.. this will get better. You will find someone. It just takes time they say.
It's been years of waiting. I also don't want to worry my parents by talking to them. I feel nothing can be don't to make this better. I don't know how to be okay. And that scares me. What if I'm never okay again.
Any advice welcome (link)
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The therapist means well but what you may need is a psychiatrist. You're not crazy but she's missing the fact that you have been having really dark, empty, depressed thoughts for a long time with a little bit of brightness as well. That's a mental health issue and could be a variety of things including depression or bipolar disorder as examples. That's something that a therapist doesn't have the training to see and or treat with medication.
If you feel you have lost hope in damn near everything and that your life is over and are crying non-stop for hours ditch the therapist. See your family doctor pronto (which may be harder to do with Covid-19) or if you feel you can't function visit an emergency room and get asessed by on call doctors. That will put you in the system and get you helped.
If you have felt this way for years and your mental health has never been addressed or something suspected by a therapist or doctor it's time to investigate this further and consult these people. You have nothing to lose and may find your world gets a hell of a lot brighter quickly.
You have a story to tell even if you don't know the words to yours yet or your place. It will become known eventually. You matter to this world, your family and others. You're important and are worthy and capable of love and experiencing it. You will be okay provided you seek help. Things could radically change in your life for the better.
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Hello, I used to enjoy music a lot (not every genre).But lately I am unable to enjoy music and is devoid of the feelings and emotions I once had while enjoying songs. Now, I can't even listen to music that I used to enjoy much.I even tried to listen yo music of different genres and it too didn't help. This issue has been going on for over a month, and I tried to solve it by not listening to songs for over a period, yet NP result. Its really bad experience to live without songs. Please help me (link)
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The thing is you can listen to music but what you're listening to just isn't doing it for you. I think what has happened is that your tastes have shifted and the artists and genres you were listening to no loger holds your interest or it all sounds exactly the same. There's nothing wrong with you if that's the case.
The only thing I would be concerned over is if you stopped loving music and life to the point you're depressed all the time. That would be a big issue as some people when dealing with mental health issues start losing interest in things they once loved. If that isn't you than I wouldn't worry.
If I were you I would explore. Try jazz, a-cappella, soul, pop and other genres you may not have tried before. See if there isn't something new there that speaks to you. If you just don't like music or other aspects of life anymore talk to someone about this development and how it started as you may need support.
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