about

Photobucket" align=left hspace=10> Allooooo~ well to start off...I go by as Dennise and giving advice is what I'm here to do and I plan to provide whatever assistance I can offer to the best of my abilities.

I've had my share of ups-and-downs (don't we all) and I'm more than willing enough to help those that ask.

In fair warning: I won't give answers that are "gusshied with sprinkles on top" (or whatever things that that line follows). I will be blunt if the situation calls for it...either you take the honest words or brush it off and go search for a lie~ all in all, it's entirely your choice.
Advice is simply there for people to brood and consider over, not a forceful act.

So feel free to ask me whatever you wish to be answered and the advice shall slide over these keyboards~ ^-^


"If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling;
if you can use either one, it's a miracle."
-Jack Adams-

"If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it,
If you don't ask, the answer is always no.
If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place."
-Anonymous-







advice

My life has hit rock bottom. I have no hope left for myself. This year has been one of the worst years I have faced in the 20 years of my life. My college grades are anything but good. My dog passed away last month. My boyfriend of 8 months who I love, is hurt because i lied to him that i was a virgin. He won't even talk to me properly. I have absolutely no friends who I can talk to about anything. I want to end my life. I just cant continue living in pain each day with no one around to take care of me or just hold me and say that "It's gonna be okay". I try to optimistic but I'm just too lonely. What do I do?

To put it bluntly, life can suck and somehow it has the ability to bring you to the ground. But you also have that same chance to stand up and think about what you can do to make things much better for yourself. Even though it may seem like life is cruel, in a way it's more of a guiding hand to help you develop to the person you wish to be. No matter how many times life can beat us down, it gives us a supporting hand to continue forward, learn from our past mistakes, and grow stronger in the near future...life does these harsh things to people so to realize our potentials and for us to take the stand to take control of our lives.

First off: your grades. Take into consideration as to what the others advised before this one. Studying is the only solution when it comes to academic rewards. Apparently it's understandable when you're stressed out, you're not entirely to keen to the idea of motivating yourself to study. But think of studying as an escape to your problems. Primarily your mind is focused on studying, answering/pondering questions, and memorizing so you could use this as a motivation to keep your grades up.

Losing a dear, close friend (especially someone you consider your family) is hard to get through. I know the feeling, but all I can say is...you will eventually grow to accept it all. Take the time to remember precious memories you had with your dog. They may be mourned over but memories are special...those happy and sad moments you spent with your dog are what you can consider as entities of him/her (I apologize, but the gender wasn't mentioned :p). Reminiscing the past will make you cry, but he/she will always be with you so long as you keep those memories close to you and that is something that we can all be thankful for...to have memoirs of those we love.

As I've said before, when life brings you down, push yourself to make a stand. Talk to your boyfriend and if he ignores you, just tell him to listen even if he won't say anything.

Handling things on your own can be frightening and so we seek the comfort of others. It's natural for people to feel that way. Why not take the chance to go and ask someone for help with your studies? After all, you're hoping to improve on your grades. Alright, the thought of randomly asking someone to help you can be a bit nerve-racking but there's always someone out there bound to be friends with you. Everyone can't help but reach out to others. Consider this option at least. Everything has a way to turn out for the best, but you have to be patient for it and sometimes you even have to push for it.

I hope this was of some help...and it will all be alright~ I wish you luck! ^-^

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I have so many things going on in my head right now thats causing me to feel majorly depressed and miserable. Well, maybe its not a super major depression since I am able to function still and do things, but I do feel really miserable To make mattters worse the only friend I have is away for a long time so I can't talk to him about it or spend time with him to help me feel better and now I'm just sitting around at home all by myself. I find only lashing out at my parents or brother to be the only way to ease the pain but I can't do that it's wrong. I really don't want to see a counselor or therapist, not only do I not have easy access to these things, but I really don't want to tell my parents. I assure you, these are people who just won't understand. Is there any helpful tips in dealing with this by myself?

Depression is something that obviously makes us feel too vulnerable and weak to move on. But depression is something that people can try to get out of.

Since your best friend isn't nearby to bring the comfort you need, go out and talk to other people. If you find someone that you fully trust to share your problems, then go ahead and pour it out.

I also highly suggest you do various activities such as reading a book you like, drawing stick people (not exactly that but...whatever weird things you want to express through art), taking a stroll outside, or anything that you enjoy and can help you feel relaxed. It's a great way to relieve your mind from all the troubles you've been feeling and it helps to better raise your confidence in yourself. It's better to spend your day to do something active rather than brooding over problems. Besides, doing activities usually come across small (but worthwhile), tiny, and random adventures that can be the highlight of your day.

Take care and you are always free to inbox me if you have any more questions! =3

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It's been like this for quite some time now. I feel lost, like I'm slipping away. I've been stressed with relationships, friendships, and school.And.. I feel so different with my boyfriend then before, and I'm not too sure why. I mean, I still care for him, but something has changed. And we got into this fight today, and it hasnt helped whatsoever. I've been in this big hole of depression. I don't know what to do. On top of this, I've had a really bad urge to hurt myself. I've already cut myself open with my nails. Any advice would be appreciated.

You have to ask yourself before lifting your finger above your skin: What exactly do you get out of cutting yourself, other than scars and such? It's not going to relax your mind from whatever stress you're venturing through. You may think that the pain will help avert your mind from whatever that is bothering you, but it works the opposite way. Cutting yourself in the progress eventually gets worst as you are reminded of why you are hurting yourself in the first place.

You can take this irresistible urge of harming your body by doing something the YOU enjoy to do...like drawing, reading, or even a simple stroll around the streets,. If this urge is still too great to overcome, find someone you completely trust to talk about your situation. You're never alone in this world, hun and so don't try to deal this by yourself.

If you choose to, you can even try to talk to your boyfriend about what's bothering you. But that depends entirely on who you think is best to talk with.

I hope this advice was of some use to you and if you have any questions or want help, feel free to email me~ take care and hang in there. Depression comes and goes in our lives, but we can learn to deal with it as long as we have the help from others. =3

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The entire extent of my emotional range is comprised of anger and contempt, and boredom and neutrality. I don't feel sadness, happiness, longing, grief or contentment. I'm described by others as brilliant, an analogical thinker, skillful and talented. Also described as distant, untrusting, uncaring and hateful by anyone I allow the mask to slip around.

I find most other humans to be naive, short-sighted, dim-witted, and stubborn fools. I am very perceptive, and I can read people very well. This almost always leads to the inevitable discovery that each person is a selfish beast who has no idea how things really work and therefore no clue about the world around them. This leads to a lot of contempt for most people. Contempt is one emotion I think I do feel. Why should I be so angry that (random example) Bob the Creationist refuses to see scientific fact, or is too stupid to understand it? I probably shouldn't be, but I am. Bob really pisses me off and I just want to knock that stupid smile off of his face. Yet, on the other hand, I will go out of my way to remove an offending spider from the house without hurting it.

Why can't I look at a tree and see its 'beauty'? Why do I instead see a collection of fibrous material supported by a root system, that branches off to support photosynthesizing leaves? Why must I then consider the stresses on the trunk induced by each portion of the tree in various environmental conditions, rather than just noting how pretty the leaves look in the wind? I don't know how pretty they are, I only know of the phenomenon of other people thinking they are pretty. Do you follow me?

I can't remember if I ever really felt other emotions. I think I did, I must have, when I was a kid. I don't really remember much of my childhood. Most of it is less than a blur. And most of what I do remember are bad memories. (Not necessarily terrible or evil, just not good.) I also know I did experience some abuse as a child. Mostly verbal and mental. Some sexual. But I remember those things, so they aren't repressed, and therefore shouldn't be manifesting as this problem. So, am I just naturally antisocial and narcissistic? Anyone have any ideas?

Don't take this next sentence in to too much thought, but...people that are highly intelligent tend to want to see the actual facts just because of what they see through their naked eyes. Example: judging someone just because of their small actions. You have to grasp that sometimes over-analyzing things and coming to the conclusion that something or someone doesn't understand the world around them, just shows that you can be as blind as them.

You may have the talent to read people but it doesn't completely mean you understand their true values. (Please do not take what I have said so far as an insult of such, that is not my intention at all.)

There are plenty of people that believe they are surrounded by shallow, mindless crowds. This is just in my opinion but, the reason people feel that way is because we are judging that others don't see the same perspective that only what "our minds see" and we immediately believe that they are stupid enough to not realize it. It's odd but in a a way, every single person out there in the world practically has the same thoughts but most just take it in a different pace. And plenty don't want to show their true thoughts because they're afraid to express it and so they choose to hide it, which makes people become more judgmental about others (sorry if this might've confused you, not exactly too sure of how to explain something like this ^^;).

Finding the "beauty" of things means you have to be able to let go of trying to inspect facts. Put that all aside and hopefully you'll be able to see what you weren't able to...

But please if you can, go ahead and talk to a therapist who specializes to aid you with this. Handling this alone would be difficult and you are NEVER alone in this world. I hope this advice was of some help...I wish you luck and take care. =3

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14/f
(I'm going into 9th grade this fall)

So basically I've never had good self esteem, but lately it's really plummeted. I feel like I'm weird or something...like I act really...weird. I don't know how to describe it. Like one of the weird kids in school. I've always wondered if I was...but I have lots of friends and everything...some are kind of weird and some aren't, but I didn't think they rubbed off on me. But I've been noticing lately...over the summer, I've been doing nothing...hanging out with people once every few weeks. But I had a sleepover with my best friend (who's friends with lots of popular people) and we were like taking turns on the Wii and Facebook and everything and I realised I kept saying things like "I'll own you!"(to the Wii) or "sketchy" and stuff and I felt really stupid because she would give me this look every time I did something I felt was dorky or something... believe me, my best friend is not shallow at all and I love her to death so don't blame it on her or something.

But anyways, I feel really ugly and that I have no friends and no one wants to hang out with me...I just feel like a total loser.

Last week on Facebook I posted some chain note thing where you tagged a bunch of your friends and then they were supposed to say their first impressions of you. So a bunch of people responded and the first to posts were from some of my best friends and they both said "haha, i thought u were quiet and weird...ily:)" which made me feel so stupid. The rest were like "idr" or "nice and quiet". I know I'm really quiet, and I really don't know what to do about it. I never thought it made people think I was weird though.

So could I please get some advice? I need to know how to not get so nervous around people (/being quiet) and whatever else...

Oh also, please don't give me the whole "you shouldn't care about what other people think of you" speech because I really don't care. I've heard that enough. This isn't me wondering how I can be popular or something. I truly just feel like a complete loser.

Thanks

People want to feel comfortable with others and feel like you're a part of them, correct? That's what everyone wants: to belong and to be accepted. But one thing you have to do first so that you gain some confidence is to know exactly who you are and how you want yourself to be.
People want to feel comfortable with others and feel like you're a part of them, correct? That's what everyone wants: to belong and to be accepted. But one thing you have to do first so that you gain some confidence is to know exactly who you are and how you want yourself to be.

I know~ doing something like that seems kind of difficult since doubt is always there. But that's part of being able to overcome your own low self-esteem. Takes time and patience to bear with it...and definitely determination. Find things that really make you shine, every individual in this world has something that makes them unique to others. No matter how small or big.

Being called "weird" seems like a harsh word and people often take it personally, but sometimes we just take the idea of "weird" in a different way that makes it sound hurtful, especially when it's used on the internet. If you feel uncomfortable about it, just ask your friends if they really think that way...just try to, even if it's hard to bring up the topic, otherwise it'll bother you more if you don't do something about it. Plus, if you catch yourself into thinking you did something awkward that you wish you didn't, it's not to late to apologize about it if you felt kind of foolish.

Don't be afraid to ask for help to anyone you really trust if you can't handle your situation by yourself. You're never alone.

Do your best and I'm sure you'll be able to gain more confidence in yourself in no time! Feel free to send me an email if you have any questions and I'll do my best to help you out. Take care =3

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I said some things that i wish that i could take back right now but I can't and I just feel like my life isn't going to get any better right now. What do i do from here?

We all make mistakes at some point in our lives...and at times it's hard to cope with it. But in the end, we learn from all those mistakes and take advantage of the knowledge we gained for a better use in the future.
Apologizing is a first step to take. Be honest, no denials. Don't say that your life isn't getting any better! It's definitely gonna go for the better~ stay strong and true to yourself.

Hope this helped you a little! =3

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Lately, I've been feeling like I've been wasting my time if I'm not out with friends or something. And for some reason (I think the two may be connected) I also feel empty and miserable after reading. I'm a huge Harry Potter fan, the kinds that spend time on the online forums and all that. But I've been unable to enjoy fanfiction because finishing it makes me feel.. sad. I haven't pinpointed the emotion, or the cause, but I feel kinda down. I just finished the Twilight series, which was pretty good, but now I can't stop moping around the house.
At first I blamed it on the happy ending: I told myself I was sad that such a thing didn't exist. It only seems to happen when I'm not busy, like when I have nothing to do. Any idea what's wrong with me? I want to be able to enjoy Twilight!

I agree with the answer below me...just do your other hobbies to keep your mind occupied or maybe just take a nice walk around the neighborhood, it's a way to feel a little bit relaxed! You can also make plans to do fun activities with your family and friends.

And I definitely understand the feeling you get after reading a good book. Maybe the reason you're feeling depressed after reading is probably because it's a whole new world that separates you from reality. Like, books are filled with all different kinds of adventures that every person wishes they could venture through themselves. Sorry if it sounds confusing, but maybe you just wish your life had something interesting happening like...meeting a vampire (well not really but almost something unbelievable I suppose)! Everyone wants something extraordinary to happen after all.

I hope this advice was of some helpful use to you and I'm sorry if it's a little confusing!

(By the way, Twlight rocks!) =3

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