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hi i'm 14/f

well i just started going out with this guy lets call him frank.. well i've like frank for a while and he finally asked me out today and i said yes. Well at the begining of the year i had another boyfriend and we weren't very close we went out for 2 months and we didn't even hold hands or hug and i was just wondering wat i could do to make this realtionship better?
I've never really been close with my boyfriends the sorta avoiding them thing..you know?
and so yea i've never done of that stuff never been kissed!

can you help?
thanks

The best answer I can give you, is make sure you're comfortable in whatever you do with him. If you feel uncomfortable with the situation(for example if he leans in to kiss you), then nicely pull away, but tell him that it wasn't him, it was the timing, or the area, or whatever it might be.

Every first is scarey. Everyone had butterlifes rumbling through their stomach their first kiss, or the first time they held hands with a boyfriend or girlfriend. You will too. You just need to diferentiate between butterflies, and uncomfortableness.

Whatever you do, do NOT feel pressured into doing something you aren't comfortable doing. Not even if your friends urge you, or if you're afraid your new boy will break up with you if you dont, or if you've got complete strangers on advice sites saying,"You need to hold his hand to be close with him or it wont work out." Take things slowly, and at your own pace. If your new dude doesn't dig it, then he's not worth it.

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So I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months lied to me about smokeing weed. he swore he would never lie again but obviously i dont belive him considering he lied the first time. Now that hes lied, I always think that hes lieing to me about EVERYTHING..I dont want to break up with him but I dont want to be with him if I think hes lieing..I know this is confusing but how can I just find out the truth when I think hes lieing? Should I just trust him until I catch him in the act? PLEASE HELP!

If you want to be with him still, and if he promised he would never lie to you again, then accept it and move on with the relationship. You might always have a nagging suspicion that he's lying in the back of your head. But don't dig into it, and don't harrass him about it. If he does start lying to you, chances are high that you will eventually catch him in a lie again. At that point, then you have a valid excuse for breaking up with him, because then you know that his lying behavior will continue, despite his apologies.

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Is anyone else out there completely in love with someone who is far away for a while? This is so hard I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 19 and we only had a month to get to know eachother and fall in love. I have never met someone who made me feel the way he did. Hes away figuring out his life and getting a job he plans on being with me afterwards but its so hard. Im scared that this will break us apart.

It's always hard to have someone you love so far away.

There is a saying,"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." This is true for the most part. However, if you let his absence get the better of you, chances are it will ruin your relationship. In other words, don't grow paranoid about the 'what ifs'. "What if he leaves me?" "What if he cheats on me?" "What if he doesn't come back?" These thoughts will make you sick, and will leak out to infect him with thoughts like,"Wow, if she's acting like this, do I really want to be with her?"

It's hard, trust me I know. You don't get to see or talk to eachother as much as you're used to, or would like to. But when you do talk, keep a positive attitude about it. Encourage him on his goals to make a better life. Remind him of the awesome time you spent snorkling(or whatever). And always let him know that you can't wait to see him again.

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My boyfriend kissed another girl. What should I do?

It wasn't a french kiss and it was on the lips.

The thing is, my friend saw this. He was at karate with one of his classmates.

And I think my friend isn't lying because she told me the ADDRESS of the building and the time he was there. I know the karate place and I know what time he goes. And my friend doesn't go to his school so it's not like they talk about what time he goes there and where. We all hung out like 2 times [movies] so no conversation, basically.


My boyfriend didn't tell me anything though..

So i'm not sure how to go about this..

My friend isn't known to be a liar. But I don't know about my boyfriend. :/

Does your friend have anything to gain by lying to you? If not, then why would she make something like this up? Any good friend would let you know if your boyfriend is cheating on you. I don't know your friend, but by the sounds of it, she is a reliable source.

I suggest that you confront your boyfriend about the issue. Don't start off accusing him, males don't take kindly to that(nor do females). Just let him know that one of your good friends saw him kissing another girl, that it really hurt you, that you consider it a form of cheating, and then ask him if he is serious about your relationship.

If he is serious about the relationship, then the two of you need to have a long talk about cheating. You need to talk about what is acceptable, and what it not. To insure that it doesn't happen again in the future(or, if it were to happen in the future, you could dump him on his happy hiney, because he knew the rules).

There is, also the slight chance that he'll admit he's not serious about your relationship, and you'll have to be prepared for that too. The fact of the matter is, in situations like these, you have to be prepared for anything. If he's not serious about the relationship, then I suggest you cut your losses, break up, and find someone who's better for you.

And then, there's a chance he'll try to deny kissing another girl. Men can be crafty creatures like that. Deny deny deny deny. He might come up with 101 excuses, like,"Your friend could be lying." or "She probably saw someone who looked like me, but wasn't me." or "I didn't even go to class on that day." All you simply need to do is keep your cool, listen closely to his arguments, and then calmly state the obvious truthful debate to each argument. For example,"My friend has no reason to lie to me. She never has in the past." or "I trust my friend completely when she says it was you. But if you'd like, I can call her up and ask her if it's possible that she might have made a mistake." The key here is to keep your cool... even if he looses his(which there's a chance he might, because you are backing him up into a corner).

All of my advice is very general and basic, because I don't know the whole situation, I don't know your friend, and I don't know your boyfriend. My advice, however should work none-the-less. Just remember not to get worked up into a frenzie when talking to him. That's not good for anyone. You have the power in this situation. You have control.

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