I am just a girl. I am no special person. My friends have always asked me for advice, I have always been pretty good at giving it. I am a Christian. Sometimes that influences my advice, sometimes it doesn't. My mother has always told me I should work for a teen help hotline. I love helping people, it makes me feel like I'm useful.
E-mail: enchanted.enigma@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: a tiny little town
Age: 17
Member Since: January 5, 2008
Answers: 23
Last Update: February 1, 2008
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Hello,
I have just a short and quite simple question. When ever I start to like a guy and I find out that he likes me back I begin to get this what I think of as a scared feeling. And right now i found this guy who is amamzing. he's so sweet and would never hurt me or anything. but when i'm around him i get scared and almso ask myself could i be in a relationship with him? but then when i'm away from him i can't wait for his texts or hugs or just to see him and i don't understand why this happens with me and guys. i think maybe i'm scared to commit to a guy and have a boyfriend who's mine and i'm theirs but i don't know where the commitment issues are coming from. any suggestions or thoughts. hell i'll even take comments. i'll take anything.
THANK YOU =]
btw. i'm 16/f (link)
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When you feel insecure with yourself or if you have been hurt in the past, you may tend to pull away when you find yourself getting close. Just be sure to take things slow and don't rush into s relatinship before you are ready. If he truly cares about you he will understand that these things may take time.
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my bf and i last night talked about what we daydream and stuff not exactly text sex/sex put like him taking off my shirt and where i would touch his back and chest and stuff like that. we both really liked it and got turned on and thought it was sexy but the thing is we are really good Christians and we are wondering if it was wrong that we did that. can anyone tell me what they consider this? its not sex but is it 'unholy' i think it might have been kinda bad but i still really liked it. what should i do?? thanks so much :] (link)
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Your carnal (fleshly) side will, of course, enjoy these things. It's normal to have gotten turned on by them, though. The fact that you are even questioning whether it was right or not should tell you that your spiritual side is trying to intervene. Any amount of impurity is wrong and can easily lead to other things. If you are thinking it, it will make things more likey to happen. Also, a sin can be a sin, even in your mind. Thoughts like this are lusty and dangerous. Why play with fire, when you can remain entirely pure and make resisting the temptaion easier. Just tell your boyfriend that you care about him and are attracted to him, but that you are not comfortable discussing those things because of the temptation it causes. If he is as good of a Christian as you say, then he should understand and respect that decision. If you have any more questions, let me know....I have just gone through a very similar situation myself, I know it can be very tough.
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ok well my bf and i dont see each other during the week because we have school and this weekend im studying for midterms so i probably cant see him except for at church. he and i are leaders for younger kids in our church hes the 6th grade boys leader and im the 6th grade girls leader (we are both in high school) and then there is a ohh idk 30 min time frame in between 1st service (when we serve) and the service we go together after that. and then on Sunday evenings we go to our youth group together well lately i have been wanting to be with him so badly and i miss him a lot even tho i saw him last weekend. i really want to kiss him (not just a tiny peck a little more than that) but i dont know what to do cause i dont want anyone to see us plus he and i would get in a lot of trouble because we are leaders at church and role models and are supposed to set a good example. what should i do!? i want to kiss him just a little like in the stairway when no one is there or sumthing but idk!!! please help! and is it normal for me to feel like i miss him and want to be with him all the time haha i guess thats just a normal couple thing but w/e thanks! :] (link)
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You shouldn't kiss in the church. That should compromise your values too much. Just talk to him, and try to make time away from church where you can see him, and kiss him all you want. Then you don't have to worry about being caught either. Being a leader for younger kids means you have to act like one.
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My bf and I have been together for about 3 months now, and I am worried that we are losing our spark. We would hang out a LOT when we were first together, and text and IM all the time. Recently we've both been busier with our lives, with school and sports and all. Sometimes I go for 3 days without talking to him, and we basically only see each other on the weekends. He doesn't text or call anymore "just because" and I miss the way it was. Is our relationship wearing out? Is there anyway I can help this? (link)
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perhaps your relationship has just reached the "comfortable" stage. This is when you must work harder to keep it alive. Just tell him how you feel. If he feels the same way, try to fix it. Make sure you make time for each other. If it doesn't appear to have potential, drop it before either of you gets any more attached.
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well im a great Christian girl and my bf is a great Christian boy and we have been best friends for a while know and have liked each other on and off for a long time too. now that we are actually dating we both agree it feels just like we have been dating a loong time and perphaps just started the part of the relationship where we kiss and stuff? anyway since dating we have been kissing and holding hands and i was wondering are there certain things God doesnt approve of when dating? besides having sex (we both agreed strongly not too and i have an abstinence ring anyway :]) and not cheating? i mean i know we should have respect for ourselves and not go really fast and stuff like that but is there anything about what you should and shouldn't do?? thanks so much! (link)
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Wow. You have just described my current relationship. (including the abstinence ring) I think that you need to have a heart to heart with God. Although there are many ways to get around the "intercourse" part of sex, will you really feel right as a christian, bending the rules? Ephesians 5 says that even a hint of sexual immorality can prevent us from being the good christians we should be.
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16/f...16/m
i've never been in a relationship before and suddenly, i went out with my best guy friend.
now that im his girlfriend, he treats me like crap. but i like him SO much. we were holding hands today, and i stroked his arm.
when i came home, he called me and said i didnt do it right. and that i looked like i was scratching a dog.
he always tells me i dont do things ...perfectly..as a couple should. he's experienced, i'm not. (link)
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You need to explain to him how you feel. Tell him that you are still learning how to do things and that you want to learn with him. If he doesn't understand that being so judgemental of you is hurting you then he is soooo not worthy of you. Experienced or not, you deserve someone who respects you and how you do things.
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well there's this guy that i really really like and been liking him for like 7 months already.And well im a very shy person espically around guys,and ive been trying to talk to him or at least say hi but i never get the chance to. See i dont know if he knows that i like him and i think he doese becasue my friends say that he does. And he do be sayin hi to me everytime we see eachother in the hallways and i dont know if he just saying hi to be nice to me or if he likes me back.But my real quetion is how you know if a guy likes you back when you like them. (link)
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Pay attention to his body language. This is best if you work up the nerve to have a convo. with him. If his pupils get big when he looks at you, he angles his body toward you while speaking, maintains eye contact, or (a dead giveaway) gets all red and blushy in your prescence. But, honestly you need to talk to him to figure any of this out.
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I have a lot of guy friends...but they are all FRIENDS.
I want them to notice me more as someone they could go out with...rather than a good friend.
I'm not tomboyish or anything...I'm not a bimbo..not a whore..slut.. or anything like that.
I'm just normal..I look like a girl...act like one that's it.
So any tips would be much appreciated.
15/F (link)
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Well the fact that guys want to be your friend shows that there is something right! about you. Guys like someone they can talk to. The next time you are around the guy you like try showing him you think of him as more than a friend by touching his arm or holding his gaze longer than neccessary. DONT change who you are to get guys to notice you.
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13/f
k, well. i dated this guy and we had a really serious relationship; like to the point that i thought i acctually loved him, and im only in 8th grade, so i know i couldnt have been. but, we dated for almost a year and now ever since that i can't find someone to math with what we had. i mean, i really like this one guy but well its complicated. but he doesnt want to date, but i feel im ready for a relationship. and like, for a couple months now i feel kind of.. eh. un social? and i don't flirt as much as i used to. and i mean, im not saying i want a relationship with someone becase i flirted with them, and i know that if i want a good relationship i need to find someone that likes me for me and blah blah blah; ive heard it. but i mean, how could i flirt without being slutty but also being kind of serious. like, i need alot of options. like, things i could say things i could do. but, i also want to have fun doing it and not drive the guys away.
anything will help. (link)
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Right now it may feel as if a relationship is the most important thing. Honestly just be yourself around guys. Laugh, have fun, go to dances, enjoy it. Eventually the right one will notice how fun and easygoing you are and want to be around you. DONT try to flirt. Just be natural and you will have more fun. dont over analyze it.
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I am 16 and a girl and need just a little advice...When i first moved to this house i saw this 1 guy at my bus stop in 8th grade that was like3 yrs ago. and he also rode my bus in 9th and 10th grade and i REALLYYYYYYY like him even when i first saw him, but now in 11th grade he doesnt ride my bus and i wanted to finally talk to him this yr to see if he actually liked me back, now i never see him and i have not 1 clue on what to do! i seriously think that he is like the cutest guy that i have ever seen and i just need some advice on what to do.please help, thanks. (link)
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Since you don't see him on the bus anymore, try to find another casual place to speak to him. If that works,first try to establish regular conversation with him. If that seems to go well, flirt a little and see how he reacts. If all systems appear to be go...go for it and tell him you like him. DONT come straight out and tell him how madly in love you have been for three years, this will only scare him away.
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