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October 30, 2004Answers:
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I love giving advice, I can say that I am good at it, most people i know come to me for advice. I am going to Uni next year and have a great boyfriend. I love keeping in shape and watching the Oc :) I do well in school I have an over 80 average and I LOVE giving advice! So ask me a question!!!
advice
ok well im 13/m and i have feelings for my friend. The problem is that she has been going out with her boyfriend for a long time (year and like a month) andso i've been trying to be there for her and be her friend but now her and her bf are going through some rough times and she doesn't think he likes her anymore. I want to make a move but think that might be taking advantage of her and her situation. Should i go for it? Is it taking advantage of her current situatuion?
I think you should wait and be there for your friend, couples go through rough patches all the time so they could get over it, but if they don't you will be there for her. If you really have feelings for her you should wait til everything calms down and she will be ready for another relationship.
Hey-i was reading through your column and i really liked the advice you were giving so i was wondering if you could help me out with a situation i have:
alrite so beginning of this year (i was still a junior in high school) i met a guy (a senior in high school who's now a freshman in college) through my best friend's boyfriend and one nite after all 4 of us hanging out i ended up hooking up with him. When it started out, neither of us was looking for a relationship, i was just looking to gain experience so i figured it was a great idea. Long story short-i went pretty far with him and got attached-towards the end of the school year we found out we both really liked each other, we went to prom together and were hooking up monogamously for about 4 months but he never asked me out-finally middle of summer he said he didn't wanna lead me on but he really didn't want a gf when he was gonna be leaving for college in a month-i told him i understood but naturally i was heartbroken. So i didn't see him the rest of the summer, i've just heard stories about him hooking up with other girls which killed me...literally but i finally finally got over him (its been a long long road). Anyways he's back for thanksgiving break and i haven't gotten play in awhile-so this friday we are getting together-im really worried cuz when i see him i don't know if i will have the strength to turn down hooking up with him, but i definitely know i don't have the strength to get over him again-at the same time....i desperately need play LOL. What do u think i should do?!?!
thanks
Well your in a sticky stich!! On the one hand you could totally hook up with him for play but that could leave you heartbroken again or you could totally not hook up and give yo uthe wondering "what ifs" and obviously not getting a piece! Ok I would say see if he calls you first, ya know to see if he is at all interested? And obviously if you guys hooked up and broke up because he was going away to school (totally understandable) and he hooked up after you it wasnt because he wanted to hurt you he probably just wanted a piece and knew where to find it. But what you should do is see if he calls you first and see if he makes an effort to see you or talk to you maybe you could try and talk with him and say that (if you actually do want a piece) then you two can hook up for thanksgiving just on a sexual basis, so then you kind of remind yourself that you shouldnt let feelings get involved! (which can be soo hard!!) So basically its up to you now, you can hook up with him and keep reminding yourself that its just sexual, like maybe afterwards just remind yourself that it was totally just friends hooking up for some play, helping each other out, doing a ...sexual favour? haha :P Or you could put strength in your words and turn him down because then you wont have this sticky situation when he comes home for Xmas...new years.. If it were me I would try to find my deepest strength and turn him down because just think in a couple of weeks he'll be back and you'll be in a deeper trouble cause he'll be home for longer.... hmmm I hope i helped!
hi..okay i had asked this guy i liked out to do something with me..before this we hadnt' rally talked too much but he sorta followed me a little at lunch and i cud tell and it was pretty cute..ppl told me that he prolly likes m n stuff so wen i asked him he sed he didnt know if he cud make it to where we were going..then on monday (i has asked on friday)he completely ignored me and on tuestday too..What do u think this means? I was getting a good vibe from him before and now he just randomly started to ignore me..cud he b nervous, or maybe he just stopped liking me..thanks a bunch you guys.
You could try and talk to him and address him on him being different, ask if something is wrong or if he is being just shy ? If he doesnt give you a straight out answer just forget about him, cause if he is gonna ignore you and be jerk then he isn't worth your time!
ok im a 15 year old dude and my gf goes to a dif skool and it really sux i know most of u think thats gay but itz all good.. but i don't get to see her a whole lot i don't get my car for three months. do u know how i can strengthen my relationship for these next three months b4 i can see her a whole lot more?
You can trying calling her like every other night or every two nights. You could totally be a sweety and make a huge attempt to see her like take a bus route to goto her house, or bring he a small gift or something, and also you could tell her that it is difficult right now to see each other because of the lack of car but you will see each other more in 3 months, but that she doesnt have to worry because you two can make an effort to make it work
ok i was hangin out with my bf who i only get to see wednesday, friday saturday n sometimes sunday bc we go to diff skools n stuff...and hes PERFECT i love him alot n weve been goin out for about 4 months...well he ALWAYS forgets to call me or watever but today was reallie pissing me off...last nite i told him to call me when he got home n to not forget so he laffed n wrote it on his hand n he neevr called...and today we wer gonna plan to do something since we both have it off and he didnt call ALL day! i decided i wasnt gonna call him bc its up 2 him to call me now! wat shuld i tell him when he finalyl does call? i kno hes gonna make up some excuse on why he ddint call or he wont bring it up at all...how can i bring it up n tll him wat he did wat messed up..
This happened with my boyfriend and I, he always would forget to call and finally I said to him, ok honestly it really hurts when you don't call when you promised you would, its to the point where I think you dont care about me, and if you do care about me try harder to call and basically he called alot more or would remember more. You also have to keep in mind, some guys memories suck! so give him some leeway when he doesn't remember.
i get depressed like really easly.. like today at school i was really hyper and happy and all that but now im really up set and want to cry over nothing. i just randomly melt down.. is there anyway to stop this or is there a reason im like this?
Yea I am almost positive most girls go through it! I am turning 18 soon, and I always go through it. One moment I will be so happy and the next I will be in tears over some dumb comment. Basically you have two options you can go on antidepressants, which do work you just have to find the right one or you can do an activity that can help you with this. I was on antidepressants and they did work but I didn't like how I was gaining weight so I stopped. So now to help myself out with these crazy emotional swings I goto the gym or I take time and write in a note book all my thoughts randomly, it helps clear your mind. You could take yoga or pilates, or even boxing getting any anger out. Anything that you are interested in you can take your emotions out into it. Hope it helps!
my boyfriend always calls me sayin how some girl kissed him today at school but if i just say my friend likes my butt he freaks out and i dont care about him flirting cz we dont go to the same school so im not there to do something..anyways i wanna tell him on halloween i was holdin this guy i just met hands but i dont want him to freak out..how can i tell him and ask why he freaks out about me doin the smallest things with my friends and me not doin nothin about him and his???
o yea when he flirts i get jealous but i dont act or say nothin about it..is he tryin to get me jealous?
I don't want to sound awful or anything but it sounds like you and your boyfriend don't have much of a relationship considering he calls you up saying he and a girl have been kissing... usually people break up over those types of things because its cheating, even if the other person started kissing them. If its only happened once then fine forgive him but if he is always calling you to say he kissed another girl then you should end it with him. This guy seems to be trying to get you angry and jealous of him, I would say dump his butt and find a guy who will want to go out to make you happy.
i wanna know whats da differents between puppy love or love?
love is something that you feel for someone.. you will always feel for them, its a weird feeling like u dont come up one day and be like i love this person it develops over time, and even in the biggest fight ever u still know that u wanna be with that person and you love them. loving someone isnt always being happy and things its alot more, it comes with happiness sad anger and everything, but like in the end you still always have the connection. (its sooo hard to explain!!:P)
Puppy love is basically like you go out real quick and you 'love' them, but really anything can break this 'love' like a simple fight can make u stop... its not real love
Hi, my boyfriend and i broke up in july,2004. We have been through alot together and we love each other. We both have cheated and now our lives aren't so happy and I really need him. I love him so much and I don't know what to do. I have tried different ways to get him back but it doesn't work. please can you help me
If you know he still wants to be with you then could talk to him and get him in person, you could see if he wants to "start fresh" that if you really love each other you can make it work you just will have to try harder, you can both promise each other that you won''t cheat and that you should just forget about the past and work on the future. If it's true love then it will work, it won't be easy but it will work. And if the guy is being a jerk its not worth it (which can be totally hard to deal with) and if that happens just work a day at a time to get over him reminding yourself that a better guy and much nicer guy will come along.
Im in 9th grade and theres this guy in 10th named tod im new to the school so not alot of people know me tods one of those people.He knows i like him becuasse a kid that sits at his table talks to one of my freinds and my freind told him....he wanted to know who i was sohe had a friend ask another one of my friends....i heard hes shy weve never said a word too each other sometimes in the halls well keep direct eye contact for a bit but thats nothing how can i start a conversation with this like what do i do to get his attention?
What you could do is maybe get him ICQ or msn address and start talking on there first guys are alot better at talking when they know its not total person to person contact, and then after you have talked a few times on the internet you can start like saying hey to him at school and work from there.
Okay here is my problem, I have a boyfriend and i was sorta upset... i shouldn't of done what i did..... i went down to my ex boyfriend's house and i was talking to him and then one thing led to another and we sorta kissed... okay we did kiss ALOT! I love my boyfriend with all my heart and i am afriad if i don't tell him what happened that my ex will, so he could break me and him up! So should i tell him or not.... maybe i could get away with him not knowing and everything will be fine! But then again i am always thinking about it and it gets to me. Please help me Thanks alot.
You should tyell your boyfriend everything that happened, basically every detail. It happened to me, and I am happy that my boyfriend told me (it was at the beginning of our relationship) we have moved on and now are closer to each other, but one thing that has bothered me is that he took so long to tell me, I found out from the girl before him and that made it worse. Tell him right away and tell him how much you love him and how much he means to you that it was a big mistake and you will do anything to regain his trust again.