Q: 17/f
My boyfriend broke up with me and I am having trouble figuring out why. I met Jake when I was lifeguarding a little over a month ago and he hit on me and was like "hey beautiful" and was completely smitten (like really...haha the other guards were teasing him about it) and told the other guards he felt this connection with me, etc. He even asked me to marry him that day. He asked me out and just two weeks later we became boyfriend and girlfriend. He always told me that he could see me being his girlfriend for awhile, would text me everyday, and just was an overall really great boyfriend.
He has had A LOT of girlfriends/hook ups while I have never had a boyfriend before and only kissed two guys before him. We are really different in the sense that I'm really conscious about my grades (i have a 4.0) he barely has a 3.0, he is a "hardcore" kid or whatever and goes to hardcore shows while i'm really "preppy" or whatever. we also go to different schools and live about 20 minutes away from each other.
i brought this up the day he went out, i told him i'm not into drugs and he told me he isn't either anymore, that he used to be a bad kid but he has changed. he told me he still does smoke but only two cigarettes a day, and that i would be his incentive for him to stop. i also brought up the distance and he kept insisting it's not that far away.
everything seemed to be going pretty okay, but we only got to see each other once a week since he is a senior and his parents wanted him to get his gpa up so i could only see him on weekends. what we would basically do is watch a movie/talk/makeout. before we did anything he told me that he liked me a lot and wanted to take things slow. he also told me whenever he was kissing me that i could say "get the fuck off of me jake" and that i didnt even have to kiss him if i didnt want to and that he just liked spending time with me. he would say so many romantic things when we were kissing like "i could do this all day" one day he started to finger me and he asked if it made me uncomfortable and if it did that i could just tell him to stop.
last week i met his sister and best friend. when i asked him what they thought of me he said his sister loved me and that was the very first time his sister had like any of his girlfriends, and he said his best friend said i was "tight". for some weird reason after that day he seemed less interested in me. he didnt text me the day after and when he did text me he was really short with his answers. when i asked if something was wrong he said "no why???" i said "okay nvm" and then he seemed suddenly worried and asked "no. what's up babe?" saturday was our one month and i hung out with him on friday night, he asked me if i wanted to go out to eat and that he wanted to take me out/pay for me but when i got there it didnt seem like he wanted to so i just told him i wasnt that hungry and we just went in his basement and watched a movie/made out. he then asked me since it was like our one month if i wanted to try anything, and i said sure...he could do what he wanted but if it made me uncomfortable i would tell him to stop. he started to go under my shirt/feel my chest and i told him "i'm not ready!" and he seemed disappointed but he stopped. then he unbuttoned my pants and started to finger me on top of my underwear and asked me if i was sure i didn't want him to go under (hes always done it on top of my underwear) and i said i'm sure. then later we were making out and he put my hand on his crotch and i started rubbing it. i asked him if it felt good and he said yeah but just do it a little harder next time. then later he asked me if i wanted him to pull down his pants so i could give him a better handjob but just on top of his boxers so i said okay and i think i did a better job and i told him "i don't know what i'm doing...i havnt done this before" and i asked him if it felt good and he said yeah and i'm pretty sure he was hard too so i could tell.
when we were just cuddling and watching the movie i kept asking him about his sexual experiences and for some reason it seems to have bothered him. i asked him if he remembered his first blowjob...if he has hooked up with a lot of girls...if they were from his school...if they were spontaneous hookups...if it was true that he hooked up with this girl in the guard office closet. before i left he kissed me and i was about to leave and i asked him "you liked everything? like it felt good?" and he was like "yeah! we'll talk about this later though you'll freeze." (it was raining/cold outside)
the next day he broke up with me in a text saying that i didnt seem comfortable with his lifestyle at all...but that i was an amazing girl and that i was gonna make a guy really happy and all of this bs. i was really angry and called him and he kept saying "you didn't seem comfortable about my past...plus we are too far away and only get to see each other once a week (something i reminded him the day he asked me out and he said he didnt care) and said i don't seem comfortable with his drinking (something said i didnt mind unless he drove) and said its hard for him to have a girlfriend because he needs to get his grades up and focus on college. i said i could come over more if he wants and could help him study, etc. but he wasnt even trying to make it work and just seemed set on breaking up with me. i asked if the questions i asked last night had anything to do with him breaking up with me and he said sort of.
so i'm basically asking...why did he break up with me? do guys hate it when girls ask about their past? he was COMPLETELY head over heels for me before...i cannot stress this enough. (his friend/the other gaurds would tell me this and would tell me how cool it was that people could see that we were in a relationship together on facebook) was it possible that his friend didn't like me anymore and was just lying when he said that he thought i was cool? i asked him if there was another girl and he said no...i asked him if he didnt think i was pretty anymore and he kind of scoffed and said that wasn't it at all and that he told me from the start that he thought i was beautiful. was i being too nosy asking all of those questions? or did he break up with me because he thought i gave a bad hand job/thought i was a bad kisser/thought i was too inexperienced? i also asked him if he wanted to be friends with benefits and he said he doesnt do that and kept mentioning "pressure" or something when he was with me...he also says that he felt that we went out so quickly and that he wishes we got to know each other better before we became boyfriend and girlfriend. the breakup seemed random when he seemed into me the night before/we went farther than we have ever gone before. he seemed so set on having a long serious relationship with me. what is the deal?
by the way, saturday he went to a hardcore show or whatever and a girl gave him a blow job im pretty sure. they are talking and im pretty sure going to be hooking up. i feel so hurt that he went from me to this slut.
