actresschica's advice column | actresschica's Advice About Love Life

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Q: hey i was just wondering if any one had any tips or owt on when i go to meet the guy i like..
havn seen him in ages so js worried mght go low on convo.. ne one got ne thin that cd help e out if we get stuck?

thankx

I've been in that situation a lot of times. When you first see him, say "Hey stranger-how's life?" Ask questions that aren't yes-or-no, so he really talks to you. If the whole thing seems a little fake, tell him about something important that's going on in your life, like a problem you have. Don't get overemotional, but opening up to him will show him you trust him and you'll have an awesome conversation. If there's an awkward silence, touch his arm gently and say "It's REALLY nice to see you." Most importantly, keep smiling. Good luck!

Q: I'm sixteen years old, I'm a virgin, I've never kissed a guy, and I've never had a boyfriend.

I feel like if I don't do these things soon, I'm never going to do them. I feel like everyone around me is so experienced in all those things and I'm still just a kid. I've gotten really depressed about it because I feel like no one wants me.

Am I alone in this?

You're not alone...I'm 14, have never had a boyfriend, and never made out. (My first kiss was on a dare, with a guy who's had sex before, and I kissed another guy goodbye that same day.) Now, my really good guy friend has been flirting with me and is almost definitely going to ask me out. Trust me, when you do get attention from guys, it feels SO good if you've waited! Girls your age who have already lost their virginity probably don't appreciate the little things about guys-their adorable smiles, the way they compliment you, the extent they'll go to just to make you happy. Chances are, when a guy does show interest in you, he'll be an amazing, sweet guy who doesn't just want sex. Also, people brag about how far they've gone, but they don't brag about how far they HAVEN'T. When you hear girls talking about all the action they got, remember that the ones who got action are the only ones talking. There are plenty of girls who are just like you-you just don't realize it. Also, people lie about their sexual experience to impress guys or other girls. It's good that you're confident enough to admit that you haven't done anything. I'm sure you're an awesome, beautiful girl, and you'll find someone soon who'll make you happier than you've ever been. Good luck! :)

Q: I'm a 14/f and i haven't had a bf in like over a year!i think i might be giving off the wrong vibe to guys but i'm not a les.I'm supposedly the prettiest out of my friends and i like guys but they dont seem to like me!Help please!

Hey! I'm 14/f and I still haven't had a bf, I'm pretty but not gorgeous. I'm sure you have a lot to offer guys, and my parents always say guys are intimidated by me, but that's stupid. The truth is, all of the guys in your grade want the same 5 girls, but only 3 guys actually have a chance with those girls. Middle school/early high school is about figuring out who you are, and trying to look good in front of other people. Who you date when you're 14 years old shows a lot about yourself, and everyone is aspiring for the best. Most of my friends still only like the really popular boys, and almost never acknowledge anyone who's not 100% gorgeous. I'm a lot happier (and get a lot more results) flirting with guys who are hot but not noticed all the time. After the summer, all the guys are going to come back to school and say "Wow, she's hot." They just never noticed you but as they mature they'll realize what a beautiful, amazing girl you are...Good luck! :)

Q: Ok so i posted something yesterday about how my crush just found out i like him, well he texted me and said we'd talk tomorrow. So i'm just wondering if he likes me. I mean we don't get to see eachother that much right now because school is out but we still talk a lot. And when we do see eachother i can see him staring at me. i look at him he holds his gaze for a second and looks away. it drives me crazy! i want to like walk over and be like i like you! anyways when we see eachother it seems like he can't stand when we're in the same place and we aren't hanging out together. Like he was at my brothers wedding (his cousin married my brother...i knowit seems weird but we have been friends for way longer than that, and we're not blood related...lol just had to clear that up) anyways he was at my brothers wedding and we had a hummer limo no one else was in there yet but instead of sitting somewhere else he sat really lose to me, like really really close. He was always offering me a drink from his beer, and he wanted to dance with me the entire time. He's a grade older than me so we don't een see eachother that much but he always comes by locker after school and talks to me. Does he just want to be best friends or does he want more too? I rate all 5's for good advice!

He seems like a very confident guy (drinking beer when he's still in school...Hummer limo...lol) I think if he really liked you, he would just go for it. This seems like flirting out of infatuation, which might lead to a random hookup and then awkwardness between you for years. I think you should be slightly more forward though. Next time you're drinking something, grab his hand instead of your drink. (OK maybe not haha.) Do something little that FEELS big, and see how he responds. Good luck!

Q: ok i'm really sorry but this is really long and i need your help so please read this! xoxo

Ok, well there's this boy (lets call him Bob) and Bob likes a girl (well call her Kate) and Kate had a boyfriend at another school. Bob really REALLY likes Kate he'd always flirt with her and talk to her and stuff. BUT Bob would also flirt with me so i started liking him. But he like Kate more and I was there for "comfort" cause Kate had a boyfriend well Kate and her boyfriend broke up so Bob asked Kate out and now their going out and I'm really sad. But I kept telling my self don't fall for him he likes Kate and plus why would he like me I'm not pretty or anything. So yea basically my question is how can i like get over him and tell my self i have no change or how do i break them up well... atcually i don't know what to do all i know is I really like Bob and i think he likes me too a lil like very very VERY little cause he flirt with me too but anyways ways and i want him to be mine or not to have feeling for him. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! THANKS XOXOX

This is hard...Did Bob have a girlfriend while he flirted with you and Kate? If he did, then he is a jerk because he flirts with girls when he's already "taken." If he did this while he was going out with another girl, he will do it when he's going out with Kate, or if he goes out with you. If this is true, then tell yourself: "He's hot, WHATEVER. He doesn't treat his girlfriends right, and I deserve better." If he didn't have a girlfriend, and he seems to be a nice person, just try to get over him! Make yourself as busy as you can for a week or two, filling up your time with friends and after-school activities. It's going to be hard, but try not to think about him. You don't have to hate Bob, but you're going to get depressed if you like a guy with a girlfriend. However it works out, try not to be mean to Bob. He's only a person, and he's probably happy now with Kate. If you break them up, it will make him unhappy, and if Bob ever finds out he'll NEVER go out with you! Be pleasant to Bob, and if he flirts with you, show him that you're not turned off, but don't flirt back. Try to be friends with Bob, and maybe when he breaks up with Kate you'll be the first one he goes to! Good luck :)

Q: Ok, well, this will probably seem stupid to most people... but there's this guy in my grade (8th) and last year he told my friend that really liked me and he was really sweet to me and then I started to really like him and he asked me out and we "went out" for a while but the thing is, we hardly really talked. then i guess he just told his and my friends that he didn't really like me that much anymore and nobody ever actually broke up with the other one, but we just kind of broke up in a weird way. Well anyways, then it became awkward around him. He started being kind of rude to me. Then, during like the last week of school, we kind of started talking again and it was a lot of fun we started flirting a lot- like he took my sweatshirt which was way to small for him, and put it on, and we kept messing around with eachother... then summer started. Now, he is in one of my classes, but we dont talk, at ALL. It's really frusterating, because I still really like him. The thing is, my friend told me that she thinks he likes this new girl, who is by the way extremely rude and annoying, because he was flirting with her, kind of the same way he did with me. I found out that he is going to the same high school as me, though. Do you think I might get another shot with him in the future, or is it pretty much gone? Please help me! I rate!

I think there's probably hope once he matures a little bit. Also, when you go to high school, your social groups will probably mix up. Just hang in there, and start with small steps. Talk to him a little bit about stupid stuff, compliment him on his shirt, things like that. Take it slow and try to slowly become closer to him. Good luck!

Q: okay so i have a lot of boy problems. one of them is like there is a guy from camp and like since camp enedded we became rele close, and like we would also talk to each other. thn we both found out that we liked each other but he didnt want to go otu with me becasue i lied to him about liking him. but i had to lie to him because i didnt want to get hurt incase he didnt like me. so like then we are gonna have a reunion for camp and like we planned on hooking up, excpet i dont kno if i should hook up with him becasue like my friends say that he is just using me but i dont think so. like my boobs are rele big for my age and i asked him if it was becasue of that and he said "npo, they are like pickles on a sandwich. you dont need them but they spice it up" and like he says i'm hot and stuf like that. so my question is..should i hook up with him or not? but also take in mind that i never hook uped with someone, so should i like wait for a boyfriend? its just that i'm 13 and i just really wanna hook up with sumone already. i'll rate 5 to anyone who is rele good.

You sound like a really sweet, caring person, and you deserve a sweet, caring guy. Don't just "hook up" for the sake of hooking up. Anyway, this guy sounds familiar-it's almost like I know him! His name is Major Creep. Wait for someone better, and they will find you, because they'll be attracted to how nice you are. Good luck!

Q: Hey everyone. Well, this topic might come up all too frequently, so my condolences to those of you who are sick of this. Anyway, I'm 14 kinda short for my age, and I have brown hair and blue eyes. There's actually a few people who "feel" for me right now, but 2 of them I think are repulsive, and the other 1 is really only my friend. I've still never kissed anybody...and I'm wondering if maybe I'm just too picky at this point. I have no pride in being prude, if I liked someone who liked me back I'd let them kiss me. And also, the older I get, the worser reactions I get from people when they realized I've never kissed. I know I shouldnt care what they think, but sometimes I do. Also though, most people usually remember their first kiss, and if it's going to be that "big" I dont wanna do it with someone who grosses me out. What should I do?

-There's a lot of smart things people could turn around on this question, so if you want to be "artsy" and have fun being a smartass, you can, but your going to be the only one enjoying your hard work.-

Hi! I know exactly how you feel. I'm 13 and I used to hate people's reactions when they heard I'd never been kissed. The only thing is, the reason I wanted to be kissed was because I was ready. If you think you're ready, and people are pressuring you but you are honestly ready, then get out there! I met lots of guys at acting camp this summer. Get in a new environment, and see what happens. You'd be really surprised who will be interested in you!! My first kiss was on a dare. It was pretty good, and that gave me the courage to kiss the guy I liked later that day. First kisses are supposed to be special, and in my opinion, it's better to wait a little bit longer and do it with someone special than to just do it and get it over with. Good luck!

Q: i am really lonely right now. i have one best friend and like 2 people think im their best friends but i dont like that that much. i do have people who i consider friends though. ANYWAY, i really want a boyfriend right now. that may seem slutty but im really lonely. i really want a boyfriend. what can i do? thank you so much. ill rate for good answers, not smartass ones. that = 0. k thanx bye

That's kind of how I feel right now...I read somewhere that you're not ready for a boyfriend until you don't feel like you need one. Lots of people I know can relate though. Everybody wants to feel loved, and you deserve a hot boyfriend who's really nice and cares about you. Start exploring your options. Look carefully at the boys around you, at your school, at your after-school activites, even at the mall. Pick a few guys that you want to get to know better, and start hanging out with them. Maybe drop a few hints, dress a little more attractively. Don't make any major changes or become a huge slut, because guys don't like that. Be who you really are, but show guys that you're interested. When they see how cool you are, and your great personality, they'll definitely be interested! You just need to push them in the right direction. ;)

bio

Hey! I'm Elana. I'm 14 years old and I'm always available if you need anything. Even if you think it's a stupid question, feel free to ask...Hope to hear from you soon!!