My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months. The first part of the relationship was long distance, so I didn't really think anything of it when he seemed uncomfortable. But, looking back, from the beginning he seemed hesistant about having sex with me. It was I who initiated our first time together and he just didn't seem as eager as I did. And to be honest with you, I can count how many times we have had sex in all of that time. I would say, and this is being generous, about 20 times, maybe, and as of now, I can't remember the last time we did it, maybe 2 months ago. He is very affectionate in other ways, but when it comes to that, he just doesn't seem that interested. Its always some excuse. I used to be on him about it everyday, asking questions, but now I don't say anything and I think that he is happier with that. I have never had this problem before, my last boyfriend loved having sex with me, but now sometimes I doubt my ability to please someone sexually. Another thing is that he never compliments me. Ever. I always have to say something first. Even on my birthday, of all days, I was looking good and he didn't say anything until my roomate said something. I feel that I have tried to talk to him and approach this situation in an adult manner, but I feel jilted. He never presented this side of himself before we started dating. I even asked him if he was gay. Nothing. And I see him checking out other women so I know that he is attracted to females. I feel that I am too young to give up my sexual life and not just on a physical level, but what it can help nurture between man and woman who love each other. I am not ugly, I just finished modeling not even a year ago, I am not overweight, I am not a prude in bed either, I don't stink. I feel I have tried everything and its frustrating to see someone that you love so happy not to be close to you, but want to be up under me all the time, just not that way. Should I even bother to stick around and see what the problem is or just leave now.
I really don't think it is you I think it is something within him. Sex is not all there is to a relationship but it is a good part of it. You said you have tried talking to him but get nowhere. Ask yourself, when you two did have sex, was it good, did he get into it or was it like hurry and lets get it over with. He may need extra stimulation in order to get "in the mood" or he may be lacking testastarone. If you love him don't leave him over sex but try to find out what is going on with him and offer to work through it with him.
Alot of guys are shy about ED and he may need a gentle approach to it but if you really love him, stick by his side and try to get to the bottom of it with him
Good luck and let me know how it goes.
Wrain
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So there is this guy named Randell and he is REALLY into me. HE calls me atleast 5 times a day just to let me know I'm the only one he's thinking about. He leaves really sweet messages on my phone about how he likes me. But the thing is I don't like him like that AT ALL. And I feel really bad because I even lied and told him I had a bf (I know i was wrong) So I don't know what to do or what to tell him. Tommorrow night I'm going to a very big party and he's going to be there. So I will have a chance to talk to him in person about "the situation."
Hi hon,
The absolute best thing you can do is to let Randell know that the extent of your feeling for him is friends. Don't lead him on any longer letting him think that it is or could be more. He sounds like he might be a really cool guy and may make a great friend you just need to let him know this from jump.
Tomorrow night at the party, just sit him down and explain it to him. Let him know that you really like him as a friend and that you would like to remain good friends with him. If he cannot accept this, than it is his loss, but better to be honest with him than not.
Good luck and let me know how it goes
Wrain
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Hi well im having troubles,i really feel i love my ex boyfriend.We had a really intense relationship and it got to the point we actually said we LOVED eachother and meant it.He is a "player" he has had many girlfriends in his life and im the calm girl who only has had him.He did so many things for me,he went back to school...and my parents(specially my mom) didnt like him and he fought against them until he was given permission to be my boyfriend,NOT MANY GUYS ACTUALLY STAY WHEN PARENTS GIVE THEM A HARD TIME.The point is that it has been five months since we broke up,we have talked...and in our first conversation after we broke up he made it seem that he wanted to get back together but he hasnt done anything.He did do a lot,he lied to my parents and lied to me,Making up the lie that he got his ex girl pregnat which after he told me that he did it to "test" me.I feel that we broke up because he missed being single.I still love him and.But is he really worth fighting for?? or should i just forget about him and move on??Please help me
Girl....RUN. There are to many men out there to be playing with a "player". If he played others he will play you and like the previous answer you received, a relationship without trust is not a relationship. You may think you loved this guy but my guess is that you loved the things he may have done for you and you wanted to prove to the other girls that he was YOUR man. I am sure some of the girls he has "played" were actually glad that he hooked up with someone else and finally left them alone. Women get tired of that and let me tell you, it only gets worse, they do not get better.
Move on and find a man out there that will love you for your and not put you through "test" that was a lie in itself. Don't waste anymore precious tears over this jerk. Let him be someone elses problem!
Good luck to you and let me know how it goes.
Wrain
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Me and this boy used to date. We really liked each other a lot, things went wrong and friends got in the way, we both got hurt end of story. We always feel diff.about each other at dif times.and its been like 6 months since we broke up/ We been hanging out a lot lately, and we got into this jealousy fight, and then i just spilled it all out that i liked him. He pretty much said what i just said, i hurt him before, and he never knows how i feel, but he has thought about us gettin back together. We hung out the past two days, flirt soo much, but nothing more. I know i cant force something to happen, but i know somewhere inside of him he likes me, and im sometimes afraid to show him howw much i like him cause i dont want things to feel awkward for him, and just rush things and f*** it up. But idk, we might hang out tm. I jsut need to get some advice on what to do from here, i dont wanna hear juts wait it out, i wanan hear from someone who has once been in this situatoin and got past it. Like in my mind im thinkin talk to him about it in person, then see what happens, instead of the comp like we have been
thanks
Hi honey,
I have been in your shoes before. Men are hard to figure out and the last thing you want to do is scare him away. If you both have feelings for each other things will work themselves out if you play it right.
First..spend time with him and let him talk about the things he likes and act like you are interested in them. Always try to make him feel like a million bucks when you are with him and make him want to spend time with you. If you brighten his day he will want to be around you. If you are constantly fussing at him or complaining he won't want to be around that.
Try to always make the environment you are in a fun one. Make him laugh. The best thing you can do is be yourself.
Goodluck and keep me posted as to how it goes.
Wrain
Talking to him in person would be better than talking to him on the computer. The computer is not a good medium because you can't hear their voice or see their facial expressions. When you do talk to him in person, just tread lite and remember, always make him feel like a million bucks, keep him laughing and act like you are interested in what he has to say. Men like to talk about themselves and in the beginning, we have to act like we are interested. Play it cool and if you really want this guy, you can hook him.
Good luck and keep me posted.
Wrain
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