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What should I do?
by Minuk Choi

For you,
I would gladly walk a mile,
if that would give me a chance
to see you smile.

I'd call you my friend,
but that's a lie.
You mean more to me,
but I can't explain why.

For you are more precious to me
than all of the world's gold,
but I can't tell you that,
how can I be that bold?

If I spoke what's on my mind,
would you accept me?
Because without you,
I don't know where I'd be.

You seem to be calm,
while I feel absolutely lost.
I would like to be so bold,
but what would its failure cost?

Am I the only one faced with this choice?
Be daring and risk losing you as a friend too?
I can't risk that; I'd rather have that then lose everything.
What should I do?

advice

o.k so here's the deal my dream is to be and advice columnist for a newspaper or magazine i'm really good at giving people advice.. but i never take my own.. i need... help i have a great boyfriend... he's nice, funny and he makes me feel good he once just came over my house just to give me flowers......but he has one flaw... HE SMOKES WEED! and weve been dating for about 3 months now and he says he's gonna stop but he doesn't... please i need help should i break up with him or give him another chance... please tell me what you think

Okay I am going to tell you this striaght up. He most likely will not stop, not anytime soon anyways. Most people who smoke weed will always want it to some extent, it takes a very strong person to stop smoking and make it a once in awhile thing (couple times a year) and to stop all together is even harder especially when the only reason for them to stop is someone else wanting them to do it. They see nothing wrong with it and therefore don't see why people keep telling them to stop. Then the more you tell him to quit the more likly he is to just resent you for trying to control what he does. So here's the deal you have already asked him to stop and he agrees and then just goes and smokes again. He is lying to you about stopping maybe not on purpose because he may actually try to stop but like I said that won't work, he will always go back to it because he didn't want to stop in the first place he was only doing it for you, so there was not a stong enough motivation to stop. So if this is something that is going to be a problem for you then I would leave him, trust me I had a relationship for 7 years and he constantly promised me things and never came through, they honestly mean to but they just can't so the best thing to do for yourself is to leave unless it is something you think you can live with. Talk about it with him once more and really tell him how important he is to you and how you hate seeing him doing that to himself. Plead your case once more and see how it goes. This may not be happy advice but its honest and real and I really hope it helps you out good luck!

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there are A LOT of hott guys in the church i go to. it's AWESOME! sometimes i wish i can get to know that person better, but it's a church. you can't talk, and the only time you can is when you tell "peace be with you" to everybody. it would be weird to talk to them then. we don't stay for the whole mass, because my little brother doesn't have enough patience for it. we only stay until we get our communion. what should i do?

Sounds to me like you're catholic, me too and we always had something going on in my church they allowed us to make friends and hang out with the cute guys. Aside from the classes for pre-teens and the teens we would go on retreats for the weekend or just for the day and so everyone could hang out, flirt (tastfully, I mean it was church lol) and just have a good time. See what your church has going on and get involved you could meet some of those cute guys and parents always love a church boy. ;)

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heyy. im fourteen years old and im female. && i have a sort of a problem. i flirt with EVERY guy i talk to. i thought i liked this guy because we flirted alottttt but then within the next week i started flirting with one of his bestfrineds. he got angry . this happens all the time. i endup eading guys on becaus they believe that i really like them; and i make myself believe that aswell. things never work out with anyone because of what i do to guys. is there any epxplanation for this? or is there anythign i can try to stop myself from being a pathaligicial flirt? (i think thats what its called) thankyou soo much for the help! =)

hailey

Here's the thing, maybe you're just not ready for a boyfriend and are just enjoying being young and getting the attention and the "happy feelings" that come from when a guy is digging you. There may also be a self-esteem thing going on here and I don't know you so I could be wrong. Perhaps you need that reassurance that you are beautiful and great and so you'll accept that attention wherever it comes from whether or not you have any intentions of doing anything with that guy or not. Trust me I know from experience, I had way too many guy friends and flirted with guys contantly without even knowing I was doing it half the time. I realized later as I got older that I was doing that because of my own self-esteem issues and just wanting to be loved by everyone. Again I could be way off but usually flirting in abundance is usally a sign that it is something within us that needs acceptance or attention that we are not getting anywhere else. Try to come to terms with yourself and figure out why you are doing this and go from there. Hope this helps and good luck hun!

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14 female. when ever i like a guy i tend to give or loan them money. most of the guys i liek are not trust worthy o i usuially never get my money back. everyone knwos that i ALWAY have cash on me i cant lie to them and say "sorry i dont have any money on me." I am afraid to ask them for the money back after i stop liking them, one because i am embarrasses and two:: because it has been so long that they have forgotten. during the last school year this one boy i was crushing on would ask me for a dollar every day for 3 or 4 months. i would say yes everyday and as a resuly gave him around 40 dollars and he never even liked me as more than a frined. i know the boys are jsut using me but i cant help my self. if anyone has any advice on how to stop or anthign to say to the boys who ask and try to use me i woudl greatly appreciate it!. thanks a million andone =)

haiely

Hi there. Well I know what you mean when you say it is hard to say no to them especially when you like them, but honey if you ever really want to know if they like "you" then you need to put your foot down on this. Tell them no and if you don't want to sound mean throw a joke in there and walk away with a smile, let them know you're more than money, besides guys like when a girl is witty and has a little attitute to them. If you really can't seem to say no, then forget what you think they know, and just tell them you don't have any money on you at the moment, who cares what they think how are they really going to know if you have it or not? Just be brave and assert yourself or it will only get worse as you get older, the older you are the more things you aquire that a scrub will try and get from you, ex. car, house the list goes on girl. Good luck!

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my boyfriend and i are really close. we've been together for a long time, and we usualy have a lotta fun together. hes a real sweet guy and always has been, but until recently (meaning the last few months) hes been smoking pot with his friends. the fact that he does it doesnt bother me as much as the fact that he'll leave parties that hes hanging out with me at to go smoke with his friends. it pisses me off so much. basically: he ditches me for his friends and drugs. they pressure him into it. i tell him it pisses me off, but i dont know what to do.

please help =/

Sincerely,
*i want my boyfriend back*

Okay let's see if we can figure this out. He is obviously getting something he needs from smoking with these friends, aside from the obvious that he is getting high. There's many reasons, acceptance, feeling a part of something, eleviating his boredom, and well just having fun. Though he is making a rather poor choice it is still his business and he will defintely only act worse towards you if you are always getting mad at him or trying to stop him, especially if his friends see this, they will put there two cents in and tell him to get his girl "in check" and tell her to stop "trying to control you." However as the girlfriend you have the right to be upset about feeling neglected, it's one thing if he goes out with his friends in the first place, but when he goes somewhere with you then ditches you to go get high then his priorities are defintely screwed up. Hopefully this won't happen but if he continues with this he will only get worse, weed will become his whole life if he doesn't have confidence or self-control. Not everyone is like that but when you are young you tend to focus on one big thing at a time, and when it's drugs then it's all about getting high, when they are gonna do it, how often, and what happened when they were messed up. Have you tried talking to him seriously about it? Not right when it's happening but when you are alone and he is not high? You need to tell him how you feel and let him know you are not trying to control him but that you just want to spend time with him and if it's something you can't accept and something he won't stop doing ask him to respect you and not do it when you are around. Whatever you do don't get pulled into it, you sound like you have no interest in it but sometimes we compromise our beliefs and feelings to make someone else happy, to make ourselves happy and it always ends up doing the opposite. Good luck with this and feel free to ask me anymore questions you may have.

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Well, This guy, whos a year older than I, is really confusing me. You see, weve known eachother for a few months, and at first, my friend claimed to really like him, but she.. Well, shes a skank. And, after awhile she started hating him, and I kept hanging out with him because we became close friends. He began to like me, and at that time I didnt like him back, and he told another friend of mine that he planned to ask me out, And my friend convinced him to wait awhile, and I showed signs of just wanting to be friends, because I didnt want to hurt him, and so he never asked me out. but, In the middle of all this, i realized that I really do like him a lot, but i didnt want to controdict myself.So eventually, we started losing touch, and he got a girlfriend. But then, one late night on aim, we stayed up the entire night talking, and now were closer than ever. He always tells me how special I am to him and how much he loves me, but he still has a girlfriend? I dont know.. I really think I love him. But, should I.. I dont know, what should I do? Before you answer this you should know, hes not your typical player, hes not very attractive and is like, reallllllly smart and not "nerdy" but .. leaning more toward that side. He has a charm to him, and I dont get it. I realllllllllllly need help. Should I tell him how I feel about this?

Wow, I had a similar problem. This guy and I were really good friends but he always had a crush on me, his friends would bug me about dating him but I only ever saw him as a friend. Then I found out he was moving and all these feelings came out and I decided that I really did like/love him and it was too late. Point is don't wait if you really care about him then you need to do something about it no matter how nervous you are. Maybe you should just ask him, if you are so special and if he loves you then how can he possibly be with someone else? Maybe as bad it sounds, it could be that he is still with her because he thinks that he doesn't have a real chance of being with you. Guys need to know that they won't be rejected then they will make their move. Let him know how you feel and I just bet he will be "girlfriendless" in a heartbeat. Good luck!

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