Mandalove's advice column | Mandalove's Advice About Love Life

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Q: i otld this kid that i liked him and he has a gf. Now hes saying hes gonna break up with her and then he started asking me all these nasty questions like "if we went out could we have sex" and "do you shave" and "would u let me finger you" and then i told him that no i wouldnt have sex with him and when i told him that and then hes like "dude this isnt even him bye" and then they got off but i kno it was him and now im afraid he'll tell everyone PLEASE HELP ME ASAP!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, im so glad i dont have to deal with immature boys like that anymore. You have nothing to be embarassed about, you said no, and if he did lie to friends, you know the truth and you just have to know you're better then that..and if he does that you dont need to be associated with him, and should move on to a better guy. Because there are A LOT of better guys out there..

Q: this sounds silly, bt i have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. and sometimes i feel as tho i dnt love him bt if i ever fink of breaking up with him it breaks my heart and i cry loads. I love him soooo much bt im off to un i soon and i dnt know how i wood cope with me being at least 3 hours away. wat shud i do? i jst dnt know wether to stay or nt. or shud i tell him how I feel? wen i feel i dnt love him is usually when we spent ages apart. cood it b dat i need to spend more time with him? |Im female and 17 yrs old

You're 17 and you spell like this? Yikes. If i'm reading this correctly you said "when i feel i dont love him is usually when we spent ages apart", you mean - You feel you don't love him when you're away from him for a long time? Which signals to me that this isn't so strong. Sorry, Just spend as much time with him before you go, see what happens.

Q: I've noticed in the past few years, (I'm fourteen and female) that whenever I see a picture of a girl in a swimsuit that barely covers them, I get really turned on. I don't think of doing anything with them or anything, but it's just I get turned on. Am I bi?

Not necessarily, i see girls all the time and i go wow, she's hot, shes cute, doesn't mean i want in their pants. If you ever get the chance to experiment with girls, and you do, and you like it, and keep doing it, then you could consider yourself bisexual.

Q: i know that guys dont like clingy girls, and i know that guys dont like girls that are to "separated" if you know what i mean...so my question is...what is in between clingy and separated to where it is just right and the relationship will not fail due to this type of problem....and also in that "just right state," how does the person act?

Know your signals, and control youself. Watch what you're doing and how he repsonds if he isn't pleased he'll let you know, usually by body language. I think it differs between guys on what they like, so good luck.

Q: Is it right for a girl to ask a guy out? please answer..i rate!!

Of course it's right. It just isn't seen because of the double standard, which is slowly winding down. You're lucky if you have the confidence to ask a guy out, but if you see a guy you like and you really want to ask him out. Go for it. Dont let anything stop you. Good luck.

Q: I like this one boy very much but he doesn't like me because I'm not "sexy/seductive" enough. For example, the girl he likes is very confident and a tease. How can I be a bit more like that?

Dont ever change who you are for someone. In the end you'll end up how you never wanted to be. The only reason to change is if you're not happy with yourself. If this guy doesn't like you then you can find someone who does like you. Join clubs and do activities you like, chances are you'll meet some great people who are into the same stuff you are, and you don't have to worry about changing. Because once you start being something you're not, it gets harder and harder to keep that image up. My advice: move on. Maybe he'll like you later. Just keep talking to him, showing him who you really are, maybe he'll change. Good luck.

Q: well today is my bf's birthday so we are going to lunch at a nice (in other words, expensive) resturant with another couple. i invited him, so does that mean i have to pay for him? its a pretty expensive place and im 14 and he's turning 15. thanks!

Yes, you pay. One, it's his birthday, and Two, you invited him. Have fun.

Q:

on my birthday i found out that my ex boyfriend just got asked out by someone else. i asked him out about four or five days before he went out with the other girl. and i definetly know that it isn't fair. also he dumped me for no stupid reason. now my question is what should i do about this other than talking to him? should i ask him out again or should i try talking to him more and more?? sorry it is so so so so long.. ha ha

Maybe he isn't into you anymore. And that sucks, i know. But that's life. Remember, the song "you cant always get what you want", yeah, this applys. Try being friends again if youre not, let him get to you know again and show him how much youre into him, but don't push it. Good luck.

Q: ok i have liked this guy since maybe second grade. i still like him a lot. the thing is there's a dance and i asked him to it. and i was so happy when he said he would go with me if he goes to the dance! yeah for me right? wrong. my friends were like forcing him to him to actually say yes. well i felt really bad so i was planning to talk to him alone about it but i don't have the guts to go ask him to go talk with me for a minute or 2 because he's always around his best friend who i absoulutly hate. then i got the feeling he really doesnt want to go with me to the dance and wants go with someone else and not me. i am fine with that but i don't know how to tell him that. then just yesterday my friends from a different class went to his house and made him feel horrible. the thing is i dont know who it was and he wouldn't tell me who it was so i am totally lost right now. so i guess my questions are: how do i ask him if he doesnt want to go with me or not? dont say aim cause he only signs on past 9 oclock and thats when i have to shut my computer down. next is: should i ask him if he is really mad at my friends for making him say yes? also: how do i talk to him in person without his best friend? finally: how do i actually talk to him daily and normally? help me please!

Go to his house, if one of his friends is there, ask him to talk alone..then ask if he really wants to go with you or not. It seems like you really want to talk him and aren't shy about it, so just do it. It's best to do it in person anyway, AIM is not the way. If you really care if hes mad at your friends, then go ahead and ask. Take a few deep breaths before you talk to him, and go for it. Good luck.

Q: Ok, yes I'm the same person that's been writing the rumor questions. My boyfriend isn't coming to school the last few days and I can't get ahold of him on the phone, so I decided I wanted this advice now. Today me and my best friend were walking around the school and we started talking to one of my boyfriend's friends. My friend had her cell phone and said that I should call my b/f. And his friend said, "he's half gay." And we asked how he knew. And he said "cause he told us." Do you think this is reason to believe he is bi? And if it is what should I do? I mean as long as he loves me it doesn't really matter much, but still...it's wierd!

Yeah, i could understand how this could be weird. But never EVER believe rumors until you get to the source. You need to ask him, gently. If he denys it, hes still figuring it out for himself. You just have to be honest and forward. I don't think his not being in school has anything to do with it, but you'll have to ask him that too. Good luck.

Q: im 19 m and my gf is 18 and 7 months pregnant..shes emotional as hell and cries all the time..even when im with her..im away alot cus i play baseball and thats what i do for a living and she understands..waht can i do to makes her happy? please help me..thanks

Make a few romantic gestures, take her out to dinner, get her her favorite ice cream, take her out somewhere and open doors for her and whatever else. Since she is pregnant it is going to bring out a lot of hormones but it's normal and to be expected. Just show her you care. She'll love it. Good luck.

Q: ok my girlfriend has a abusive dad. hes always drunk and beating her. yesturday when i was visiting my girl, he was beating her up, i just got really mad. i couldnt control my self and i pushed him away. and i guess he was drunk and i was really angry he would beat up katy like that, but i beat him up pretty bad. am i right?

It was a nice try. But ultimately youre doing the same thing he is, except on him instead of your girlfriend. This could get even more dangerous. Get her away for awhile, and if it comes down it you're going to have to call CPS. I know its a hard move, but the only way to get him to stop is to get him away from her. Abusives don't like to be told theyre wrong.