"A True Friend Will Stab You in the Front." I will tell you things that you may not always want to hear. I am honest, unbiased, and fair. I always try and give two sides to every problem and I let you make the choice. I genuinely care about helping people and I will give a realistic side of the situation from an outsiders point of view. I only offer advice to those who have real problems. There's no games here. I keep it real.
Gender: Female
Location: Hawaii
Age: 25
Member Since: April 15, 2007
Answers: 12
Last Update: November 27, 2007
Visitors: 2001
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I'm male, nearly 30.
For half my life I've been chasing girls and from asking God for a girlfriend to crying in the shower, I've tried it all.
I've been on dates, but none of the women I have been interested in, likes me back (more than a friend, your such a NICE guy... I know that one off by heart). Its really frustrating to be 30 and to know only rejection from women, obviously at this stage I'm so insecure that the last time I liked this chick I totally started to stutter really badly when I thought about trying to kiss her.
I don't try to screw anything that moves, if I'm not interested in a women, I don't make moves on them and have no problem talking to them.
I'm really low and I need advice, not comfort. (link)
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I can relate. The dating world is really tough out there. I have and still am going through it.
Most people might say, "Don't look for love, let it come to you. It's when your not looking that you find it."
I hate that phrase because it's not realistic. Love is all around. On TV shows, in movies and everywhere you look. It's hard not to think about being single and wanting to be in love. A lot of times, you can't help but seek love everywhere you go.
Having said that, here is my advice to you: Try your best to not let the bad dates get to you. COnsider each female and each date as it's own isolated moment. The worst thing you can do is get insecure about it or let it get you down. BECAUSE, confidence radiates. Many people are attracted to others who have high self-confidence and who are secure with themselves. You must show that.
If you are noticing that EVERY women you are interested in, doesn't like you back, you need to either re-look at the "type" of women you go for or change the way you act towards them. Try not to fall into the "friend" role. DOn't be overly nice because sometimes, as bad as it sounds, nice guys finish last.
Try to venture outside your comfort zone. Meaning, sign up for classes in art, fitness or wherever your interests lie. Go to new places and try to network as much as possible. The larger your circle of friends are, the better your chances will be.
Focus on things that make you happy. There are SO many perks to being single. Write them down and remind yourself about it each time you feel down.
Asking God and crying in the shower will do nothing but give you false hope. Make moves on your own and never let yourself settle for anything less than what you deserve. IT will come. Good luck!
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My boyfriend's dad has a business, his dad got very sick and now my boyfriend is working every single day, helping his family. I see him once every 1-2 weeks. I miss him and I know working this much isn't healthy but he tells me constantly he "has no choice". He's very family oriented so I wouldn't make him choose. It's just I would like to see him more, and besides it'll get his mind off work. What am I supposed to do? Wait it out and do/say nothing? (link)
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I think you should definitely wait it out for a little bit longer for a number of reasons.
First, this could be temporary and things could get better. Right now, it is a very hard time for your boyfriend and his family with the head of the household being ill.
I understand you miss him but being a good girlfriend means supporting your boyfriend and being there for him through thick and thin. Right now he needs you to be as supportive as possible. He is already in a tough situation both emotionally and physically. Don't make it any harder for him.
I am sure he wants to see you more and be more available. But the fact is that he needs to help his family during this tough time. What kind of man would he be if he didn't? This shows you what great character he has.
If roles were reversed, wouldn't you want him to understand?
Find ways to do things together, even if its for a short time. Can you help him with his work? That would be a great way to spend time with him while still having him fulfill his duties and obligations to his family. How about suggesting he hire another person to help?
Meanwhile, just enjoy the time you do get to spend with him and know that eventually, it will get better.
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I'm coming onto the 1 year anniversary of my fiancee's death. She was 27, but after 1 year, I still can't get over her. I had waited almost 30 years for someone like her, and she was the love of my life. I'm a wreck, and I don't know what to do. Is this normal? What can I do? (link)
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Let me first start by offering my deepest condolences regarding the anniversary of your fiance's death.
Second, it is completely normal how you are feeling. Death is a very hard aspect of life. It's the hardest thing anyone will have to go through. Taking that into consideration, it's normal to feel pain about this. Most people take a long time to grieve a loss. Some people take months, others years. Everyone must mourn at their own pace.
The only thing that will help to heal your heart is time. Eventually you will wake up and it won't hurt as bad. For now, you have to continue to wake up each day and live it like she would want you to. Live a full and happy life each and everyday. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for her.
To help with the mourning, keeping yourself busy always help. Devote yourself to work, family, friends or yourself. Be active in your hobbies. If you don't have a hobby, find one. Take classes of things you have been interested in, go to museums, meet new people. If that doesn't work and you don't like being alone, surround yourself with those people you love and who love you. Be sure to hang around positive people who make you laugh or bring a smile to your face.
Try and find something in each day that makes you happy. Keep a positive mentality. One day, you will find someone who will make you as happy as your fiance did. I know it may be hard to see that now. But eventually it will. This person will not replace your fiance, nobody can. But this person will only come when you are emotionally ready to love again.
You will never forget her. She will always be in your heart, but eventually you need to move on.
"When thinking of someone makes you cry, remembering someone will make you smile."
Give it time. Your heart will heal one day.
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I don't get it. I'm a smart guy but I can't get over her. Its been almost a year, and I can only think about her- the girl that I was going to marry. She's gone now- and I'm miserable. I'm exhausted, on the verge of tears, and all I want to do is "leave las vegas".
What can I do to help with this pain? (link)
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First off, being smart has nothing to do with what your heart feels. Even the most intelligent person can get their heart broken and have a hard time getting over it. Your mind may be telling you one thing and your heart another. You know what you have to do, but it's another thing to do it.
Your pain is completely understandable. After all, you were planning to marry this person. To find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and have them not feel the same, is one of the most heart breaking things that can happen to someone. It will take some time for you to get over it. Some people take months, others take years.
The best thing to do is to keep yourself occupied. Keep busy. Do positive things for yourself and others. Surround yourself around good friends and positive people. Eventually, you will get over it. It's hard to see that now. But you will. You will meet someone who you will love more and who will love you back just as much.
Remember, if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be in the first place.
Good luck!
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okay question
do guys actually look at a girls clothes?
what do they like or look at? i know its broad and that every guy is different but im talking about in general.
do they look at eyes?
do they like smart girls, pretty girls, stupid girls, flirty girls.
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Some guys look at girls clothes but not nearly to the detail that girls look at girls clothes. Women pay more attention to detail. Some Men will notice when women match their clothes but they won't notice the brand name of a women's bag or the color of your eye makeup.
Men will notice if a women is wearing something short, scandalous or tight. Some men look at cleavage, some look at legs, others look at butts, and others look at the face. Every man has different taste.
I think a lot of men don't see the eyes at first unless they are close enough to see the color. But once they do, a good amount of guys like a women with pretty eyes.
Here is a short and sweet answer to the last question you asked:
-Smart men like Smart women
-Everyone wants to date someone attractive
-Guys like flirty girls when they flirt with them, but not when they flirt with other men
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