I am 23 and a psychology student trying to make a name for myself. I want to be a well known Columnist and writer once i get my PHD. Im doing this for more of a hands on training instead of all book training. I want real questions about real problems. I think I can help. Ask Amanda is always available!
E-mail: AskAmandaLyn@aol.com
Gender: Female
Location: Ocala, Florida
Occupation: Own a Print shop and am a Psychology student in my 2nd year
Age: 23
AIM: askamandalyn
Member Since: April 2, 2008
Answers: 27
Last Update: May 7, 2008
Visitors: 3391
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f/15/fl
well to start off my name is samantha b and my x-boo dana is dating 1 of my friends and i'm ok with that kinda, but they have been going out for the past four months and he wants to cheat on her with me but i don't know what i'm going to do, we have already made out once, and we have walked together like to class and every thing, but our hint word for cheating or us wanting to see each other agin is "do u want to play the game" and its like that on and off. but the hole reason why hes doing this is b/c shes always saying "i'm going to brake up with u and date some one else" i resently tolled him that (the guy that i'm trying to get with)him and amanda were talking about going out and having sex with each other and he didn't like that to much,and thats one of the other reasons why he wants to do this, but what should i do, do it and say fuck you to my friend or tell my friend that me and him are doing this behind her back? and i really love him and want to be with him and she doesn't give a flying fish about him, so what should i do please help me out i really need to know what i should do?
help me please
samantha b. (link)
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people do crazy things when there in love. if you really love him but dont want to hurt your friend just be honest without being to honest. Tell her how you feel about him and that if she doesnt want to be with him then let some one who loves him be with him I.E. you. Shell understand your feelings if shes a true friend either shell tell you to stay away from him (thats when youll have to decide whos more important him or her) or 2 shell back off and let the two of you be happy together.
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Sorry this might be long.
Ok so im 17 years old and my boyfriend is 20 years old. I tried to tell my parents about him before and they didnt approve and told me to break up with him. I told my parents i broke up with him but we continued dating because we both had strong feeling for eachother. I have now become the longest relationship for him and the first person hes said 'i love you' too. I have tried to talk to my mom about having him come over to dinner so she could get to know him but she wasnt having that. My mom says its because hes 20 years old but i know it has something to do with her not trusting anything i do. Im 17 and still a virgin, never smoked anything, never had a drop of alcohol, and clean from drugs. She has no reason not to trust me so it really frustrates me that she doesnt trust me. So i kind of want to know if theres anything i can do to help her understand how i feel about him and how it hurts me to deny that i am dating him. And also if i can get her to understand that she can trust me. Thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to help me. (link)
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First off moms hardly ever trust the men their daughters are dating... Its not that she doesnt trust you she doesnt trust him because hes older than you. Have you tried talking to your dad about this? I think the only real advice I can give you is keep trying to talk to her about it. Tell her that you dont like being dishonest with her but that you love him and are going to stay with him and you would love for her to be apart of that. Before you do any of this though you need to make sure that you really love him and he loves you and that you two are going to be together for a while. if its real than push the matter on her to where she has to listen to you.
I hope all goes great or atleast better than it is now.
Amanda
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ok so me and my bf have made out quite a few times, and i was just wondering if there was anything i can do to make him more into it? just make it more exciting? thnx in advance (link)
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Well making out usually leads to sex but if your not ready for that step and still want to spice it up a little bit try seeing what hes into like for example if he likes short skirts or short shirts then wear it and walk over to him really sexy and sit on him and just start kissing him. While your kissing him caress him and nibble on his lips. If you dont want it to lead to sex which it normally does, try making it fun give him a light kiss in odd places like when you pass him walking somewhere just grab him lightly kiss him then walk away. anticipation can drive a guy crazy. Do it when hes not expecting it. It makes him know how interested you are and that you think about him alot.
Hopefully that helped a lil
Amanda
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well okay i kissed this guy i like yesterday and it was a weird kiss, like i dont know if i did it right or not. but then after we were like playing footsie. haha idk if it means anything but generally what does playing footsie mean? (link)
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In my experience a guy playing "footsie" with you generally means he likes you and hes thinking about you and wants to touch you even if it is just your feet! Its also a great flirtation tool..
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my bf and i have been fighting and having problems because im moving in 2 months. i became nagging and realized it and kept bringing up arguments and stuff and he didnt want a break or to break up he told me he really, really didn't. soo yesterday i was like ok lets completely forget everything and start over entirely. then today at church in between services (we usually serve at the 1st one then hang in between then go to service at the 2nd one) he didnt talk to me even tho we havent hung out in forever. hes always saying he wants to see me more and everything and just last night we were saying we were gonna makeout in between (we kinda do that...hehehe) but then he was blowing me off and like im staying here and he was playing pool and stuff. then i was like i think its over cause he wasnt taking to me and being a hypocrite! and last weekend we broke up for like 5 hours then got back together so w/e. then i was like so why werent you talking to me in between service? he was like ummmm well i kinda have lost interest in you. and he and i have been bff's for 2 yrs and just the night before he said he loved me and we talked for over an hour.
then i started crying and trembling and was like i hate you. i hate you more than i have ever hated anyone before in my life. don't you ever talk to me again. and i was probably kinda scaring him but i couldnt control myself that was the meanest thing he has ever said to me. like i was some game or object even tho i did everything i could to be a good gf and keep him happy. anyway then i calmed down and talked to him and he was like its over. i dont love you anymore. we cant get back to where we were before. i cant satisfy you and give you what you want. (because i kept complaining he wasnt making time for me) at first i was like okk but we can make it through this and do this cause before he was the one saying we could make it. but then i was like you know what-ok. ok fine then ya we can just be friends. and i left.
then my friend told me this evening(shes dating his older brother) he was sleeping upstairs then came down cause his parents called him for dinner and like he wouldnt eat and was really anxious to go to youth group. she was like why do you want to go it's gonna suck and no ones gonna talk to you they are gonna be mad at you. and stuff like that. then at youth group he saw me and like walked pass me twice just like would look over at me and leave the room. it was weird. i didnt talk to him or anything. then after the message this cool jr was like talking to me and helping me with my bf and i's breakup and i was sitting with him and talking to him. at first we were gonna sit right near my ex bf but then i was like lets sit farther down lol and my ex bf knew. and he saw me talking to this guy. and first off my ex bf knows i dont talk to guys that much but that i am flirty. and he [used] to get jealous but i d k since we arent tecnically together as of like 14 hours ago. soo i was talking to this cool boy and hugged him and everything and my ex bf kept like staring at us and like watching us!!! it was weird i was like o m g hes looking at me! probably cause i was already talking to another guy. and my friend was like looking at him and staring at him while his back was turned once. and my friend was making me laugh and i touched his sides once because he was trying to pickup my friend and put him in the trash (as a joke) and so i was like pulling him my hands on his sides and my bf i kno saw me laughing and talking with him and idk about the hugging and touching him but i think he might have been watching me all night sooo who knows??
so what i want to know is 1st) what do you think of our breakup?? my ex bf was like god wants me to serve him and he wants us to breakup thats why we keep fighting (he and i are both strong christians) and god is calling me to do something else even tho 3 months ago god was calling us to date according to my ex bf. maybe hes right cause i am leaving but i had wanted to make the most of my last 2 months here.
2nd)what was with my ex bf's behavior????? does he still like me? i still love him but he said he doesnt love me but i dont believe him cause he said what he said last night was true and last night he said he loved me so how can that change in 8 hours??
3 rd) was he jealous?? even tho we werent dating but i was already talking to new guys? and i gave the guy my # and hes a couple grades older(im a freshman so is my bf, my friend is a jr) and my ex bf's older bro and older bro's gf know i gave that older guy my # so there is a good chance he may find out. cause im almost certain they will tell him. and also his older bro and older bro's gf found me crying today and helped me so they saw how much he hurt me. and im guessing told him.
*****soo ya does he still like me or something and why do you think he didnt want to date me anymore? because he didnt want to keep fighting? cause thats what i think cause his parents fight and so he hates fighting and never yells or anything.
also 4th)do you think if he got jealous of that older guy and i that he would want me more or just get mad at me?
thanks so, so much!! and im sorry its so frickin loooong!! i will rate :) (link)
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Ok whew Im glad I made it through that. Now first I think that maybe the breakup was BECAUSE your leaving. Most men dont know how to deal with change or with loss. He probably broke up with you so he wouldnt get any closer to you and eventually end up hurting even more for loosing you. 2nd If he told you he loves you then more than likely he does. People usually respond to loss or losing something in different ways. Anger or resentfulness being one of them. I doubt he meant what he said about loosing interest in you. 3rd All MEN GET JEALOUS!! If he broke up with you to spare both of your feelings when you leave and he still has strong feelings for you then what you did was probably really really hurting him. Its a classic move from a woman to try to make the ex see what there missing in a sense but rarely do the women ever realize how hurtful that can be. and 4th I would say a little of both. Hes going to mad at you for doing it and hurt but also wish he was the one making you laugh. If he comes from a home that fights all the time then I can see why he doesnt like to do it. More than likely he doesnt want his relationship to end up like that. But a big part of a relationship is arguments it defines you as a couple everyone argues from time to time. Over all I would say he does still have feelings for you but hes pushing you away to save himself some heartache. Just try to talk to him as a friend and not an exgirlfriend. See where that road takes you..
Hope this helps a little sorry so long
Amanda
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I'll try not to confuse you all.
Well My ex boyfriend *bob and i went out for 5 months anyways while we were going out his cousin asked him how's your girlfriend and he said good and so on the he said what nationality is she he told him and he said nah you can't be with her or marry her she's not one of us and we are basically the same we only just speak a different language anyways bob ignored his cousin,bob told one of his friends what his cousin and his friend said your cousin is right then a lot of his friend started saying it and he got really confused so he broke up with me because he was just really confused,then he realised he really liked me and we got back for one week and he broke up with me ebcause he lost feelings he said he thinks hw lost feelings because of the first break up and now no one tell me to move or whatever i don't know i just want to know how do you make your ex boyfriend like you again i really really love him =[ and i honestly need him back please any advice would perfect.:(:(:(:( (link)
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These situations are nevery easy on anyone, but, if hes listening to his cousin and his friends more than he was his feelings for you than his feelings were probably never really that strong for you. Now im not going to tell you to get over it and move on because its not that simple when you love someone. I would advise you to go speak with him tell him how he made you fell the good and the bad and then tell him good bye that will give you closure and let him know how bad he really hurt you. If he cares for you in the least bit hell apologize or something of that nature or hell see what you mean to him. Either way I can almost garuntee you it will make you feel a whole lot better.
Hope this works for you
Amanda
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theres this guy i like and we are hanging out tomorrow at the mall with a group of people and i want to be able to do something fun so that we dont get bored. anyone got any ideas on what to do at the mall thats fun where i can talk more to this guy and get to know him better. i want him to see that i am a nice and funny person so maybe he'll like me haha. thanx =] (link)
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Well if your looking for a funny approach go into somewhere like spencers or hot topic. If you want to just chit chat grab a hot prtzel and cruz around. If theres a game room in there head on over I dont care how old a guy is there something about arcade games and cheesy prizes that just wow them lol. hope this helped a little. I havent been hanging around in a mall since I was 16. which was 7 years ago. Oh also if worst comes to worst catch a movie something funny. It will give you something to talk about...
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okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating for awhile, but i saw in his phone, how some guy was texting him. he was questioning something about my boyfriends myspace. he said something about his "baby" on his myspace. so the guy asked him if this so called "baby" was his little sister {ashanti.} and my boyfriend replied yes, and how he has been wanting to get with her, and he want to wife her up, and all this crap. so we broke up, for good. Was that at all the right thing to do? (link)
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I think you did exactly the right thing. If hes talking about some other girl and wanting to be with her its obvious hes not fully in the relationship with you and thats not fair to you.
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hi there,
I am currently doing a survey for my college and would like to ask this question on advicenators
Would you as a girl,confess to guy about your feelings first? or would you prefer for the guy to do it?
and why would you prefer the guy or yourself to say it first?
this is in context of assuming that you both are great friends,mutual friends or strangers,,you can reply based on any situation.thanks again! (link)
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Either as great friends, mutal or strangers, I would be the one to confess my feelings first. In this day and age women are getting stronger, more intellegent, and more independant. I would believe that most WOMEN such as myself see what they want and have no problems going after it. Life is to short to be afraid to hold anything back or be hesitant, the chance just might pass you by. Hopefully this helped a little bit.
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okay im 14/f and my bf spent the night at my house, we made out big time. i sat on his lap facing him, and he went hard, i think he might have spermed but he doesn't know, i was wearing sweat pants and so was he so is their a posibility that im pregnat? (link)
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I am a Certified Medical Assistant and have been for 4 years and I can tell you there is absolutley no way in hell you are pregnant.
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15/f
Okay so I haven't really had a "real" boyfriend before, and this guy and i have sort of had a thing for each other. i'm really scared though because i want to stay a virgin until i'm married and i won't really go farther than making out. Will he get bored of this? Do relationships end because they are bored of making out with you? i'm terrified that we'll be in the middle of a makeout session and he'll stop kissing me and be like "i'm sick of this..." or will he always think making out is fun? do you know any guys who have ever been sick of their girlfriend/making out with them? (link)
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I have a short sweet and simple answer for you. If he truly cares about you he'll respect your decision and wait. If not honey he wasnt worth your time and was in it for only one thing. Better to find out sooner than later when you might get really hurt by it.
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Me and my boyfriend have been broken up since january. we had a hard 10 months. the last two months have/had been weird between us too. recently though, we talked everything out about what's going on between us. it's all sorted out and we're happy as friends right now.
there are several lists of things from our relationship i can name and a big story like most relationships have...but just altogether, my life is quite smooth right now despite all that--except, i can't get my ex out of my head. it's not a bad thing because he knows that and everything, but he shouldn't be the center of my thoughts. you know? he is my friend now after all. and i have school to focus on and the other important things in life.
any ideas how i can set him aside in my head? (link)
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You just got out of a long and what sounds like difficult relationship. For the first few months it is only natural that you are going to just think of him and even somewhat miss him. After being together for that long you kind of get used to the other person being there so naturally when there not you think of them. The best advice I can give you is to keep your mind on school, hobbies, and other projects. I would honestly say I think its a little soon to be dating or starting anything new because then the next guy will inevitably end up the "Rebound Guy".
Hopefully that helps A little.
GOOD LUCK
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