Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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All my life ive always been the ugly friend or ugly girl. It doesnt bother me as much anymore cause ive learned to accept it but its the people around me that keep on reminding me about it. Ever since grade 9 people would ask me if i had a brother, i do have a brother but he is 5 years younger than me so it wouldve been impossible for them to refering to him. So i would ask why and they would say i looked like this guy. Now grade 12 i finally figured out who the guy was and hes not really attractive to me so when a girl finally told me i looked like i could be his twin she said dont be offended because hes "Nice" that made me pissed off even more. I just want to know what its like to be the pretty girl im tired of being the girl where when someone jokes about dating me they say ew. In tired of watching my friends have boyfriends and i just stay at the sidelines im tired of guys treating me like im invisible im tired of girls always calling me ugly not directly but its obvious im tired of my dad telling me im pretty everyday because hes aware of my low-self esteem it just makes me feel worse. Also a couple days ago i went prom dress shopping and my dad said your prom is in 3 months and you still dont have a date what is wrong with you i know if it were your sister or brother they wouldve had one by now. News flash dad you have an ugly daughter. Anyways my question is what is it like to be the pretty girl and how can i fix my self esteem, ive tried wearing makeup because my dad and mom always beg me to wear it but i dont knkw the basics to wearing makeup i know that wearing makeuo wont fix my self-esteem in fact if my self-esteem is already low makeuo will probably make me feel more insecure cause then i wouldnt wanna be seen without it. Please help (link)
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"All my life ive always been the ugly friend or ugly girl. It doesnt bother me as much anymore cause ive learned to accept it but its the people around me that keep on reminding me about it. Ever since grade 9 people would ask me if i had a brother, i do have a brother but he is 5 years younger than me so it wouldve been impossible for them to refering to him. So i would ask why and they would say i looked like this guy. Now grade 12 i finally figured out who the guy was and hes not really attractive to me so when a girl finally told me i looked like i could be his twin she said dont be offended because hes "Nice" that made me pissed off even more."
Do you think it could be possible that the girl that said you could be this guys twin meant that you look like you could be RELATED? and not that you literally look like a guy? Sounds like thats what she meant and that YOUR just taking it the wrong way hunny. Stop taking everything so personally.
"I just want to know what its like to be the pretty girl im tired of being the girl where when someone jokes about dating me they say ew. In tired of watching my friends have boyfriends and i just stay at the sidelines im tired of guys treating me like im invisible im tired of girls always calling me ugly not directly but its obvious im tired of my dad telling me im pretty everyday because hes aware of my low-self esteem it just makes me feel worse."
Then try NOT hanging out with people that say things liek that to you. Try speaking up and saying something to one of the few friends you have to will listen, understand, and tell everyone else not to say things like that when your around.
Dont be mad at your parents because your always going to be their "baby" and all parents think their children are beautiful. They say things like that out of love. If you were a parent you might understand that.
"Also a couple days ago i went prom dress shopping and my dad said your prom is in 3 months and you still dont have a date what is wrong with you i know if it were your sister or brother they wouldve had one by now."
You dont HAVE to have a prom to go to prom. You should probably tell him that. Alot people go with just their girlfriends and its still just as special. It has nothing to do with looks. Voice your discontent with his comments and to stop comparing you to your siblings.
"my question is what is it like to be the pretty girl and how can i fix my self esteem, ive tried wearing makeup because my dad and mom always beg me to wear it but i dont knkw the basics to wearing makeup i know that wearing makeuo wont fix my self-esteem in fact if my self-esteem is already low makeuo will probably make me feel more insecure cause then i wouldnt wanna be seen without it. Please help"
Its not really about your looks, its about how you carry yourself, how out spoken you are, and your vibe. Try walking with some confidence, look straight ahead, ignore anyone that might be looking at you that doesnt know you and pretty soon they will WANT to get to know you because just in the way your walking down the street, you look like you know what your doing and have it together (at least to some degree) If you need help with make up you can walk into a MAC store and tell them that you need to find a shade of foundation that matches your skin well, and they will help you find what looks right. Just tell them you havent been able to find a shade that closely matches. ; )
You can always go on youtube and look up tutorials about make up and watch what their doing and go from there. We all have to start somewhere when it comes to things like this so dont be ashame because you dont know how. Its like anything else in life. ITS LEARNED.
I dont know what exactly to tell you about self esteem but one thing i DO know is that if you choose to believe that your ugly based on what other people think of you then its going to just get worse later down the road. Theres no use in believing everything you hear, even when its from people that supposedly care for you. You have a brain of your own and if you know you have value then flaunt it. everyone has something special to contribute to this world, you just have to find what yours is.
; )
edited: foundation is meant to EVEN out your skin tone, not disguise or "cover" flaws (just so you know) And if you dont have the money to spend on make up then tell them to start buying if it for you if they want you to wear it THAT badly. THEN see what they do.
Tell your mom what your dad is saying, im sure that on some level she will find it wrong and possibly speak to him about it.
Ignore certain comments, parents can say things sometimes that are sort off the cuff and make mistakes too. When i went to my prom with my guy and another couple we knew, we ended up just sitting at our table the whole time and watching other groups of people who had come WITHOUT dates together dancing and honestly its looked like they were having way more fun.
i got ONE dance out of my guy and it was the last one at the end of the effing night! ((alot of guys dont like to dance)) and girls do, so to ME going with a groups of girls could be alot more fun.
Tell your parent to stop putting the same expectations they have for your other siblings on you (like the make up thing or the dating thing) your each different and that needs to be recognized.
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Rating: 5
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Yes i have told my dad multiple times that im going with my friends and that i dont need a date to prom he said that if i go with my friends he would consider me a lesbian which im not. Also i know that she meant me and that guy look related which offended me i never said i thought it meant i looked like a boy obviously siblings look alike so when she said me and him were related shes saying we looked alike. Also i understand what you mean it probably is the way i carry myself. Lastly i went to Mac last summer to get mac foundation i dont understand the purpose of foundation when i have clear skin and also i do watch youtube videos i just dont have the money to spend on makeup but anyways thank you for the advice
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