Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
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Member Since: January 18, 2005
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. I'm 25 and hes 22. We've had an amazing relationship together. We don't live together yet but have talked about buying a house plenty of times we are just saving up. His parents are divorced, they went through a bad divorce (which maybe this is all stemming from). About three months ago we had a bad fight. He said he just didnt think we were good together anymore and he wasn't happy with some things I was doing. I cried and cried. I asked him what I could do to change this or make things better. Well I did everything he asked, and its everything that bettered me as a person. I thought things were going really well. I haven't been happier. Well two nights ago he said that he just doesnt feel the same as he did when we first started dating. He lost the feelings. He said he needs time to see if breaking up is what he really wants. So right now we are on no contact. Ive cried every night I cant eat because im just sick to my stomach. he said its not me its him. That i have done nothing but support him, love him and do everything right. I said am I not pretty enough? Is it because I gained weight? And he said no your beautiful. I asked if there was someone else and he said absolutely not that hes always been faithful to me and if we were to break up he couldnt even think of being in another relationship for a long time. And he said if he has any doubts of not being together that he would not for one second hesitate to show up at my door step and ask for me back. He also cried the whole time he was telling me all of this. He said he felt sick to his stomach.
Im just heartbroken. I dont know what to do, where we stand. He said he needs a couple weeks to think. Hes the guy I can see forever with and every time I look at him I think of how in love I am with him. I cant picture my life without him. And he knows it. (link)
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This is a tough one but obviously he has strong feelings for you or else he wouldnt be crying while he was telling you all this.
Maybe he has something going on in his life right now thats got him doubting everything?? i mean hes really trying hard to NOT go into specifics here for some reason but if he doesnt know how he feels about you anymore for some odd reason then i think it best to just break things off. Any guy your with should have just as strong feelings for you as you do for him. He sounds like he just got bored because a couple of years in is usually when the "hunny moon" phase wears off and you start to really see each other as the imperfect humans you really are and not perfect gods and goddess like figures.
he may have this type of issue and isnt even aware of it. who knows, and you may not ever really get the answers your looking for.
One thing thats for sure is that your still young and theres still plenty of time to find someone new that will make you feel things again you didnt know you could with someone else.
Maybe since hes clearly taking time for himself, why dont you try to do the same? visit with friends you havent seen for a long time, pick up arts n crafts you love that dont require him or even a partner period. live for YOU right now and before you know it a few weeks will pass and youll be able to re-evaluate things with a clearer head and not rose colored glasses.
Its always nice to be in love but you have to see him for who he really is and who you really are, you cant fall in love with someones potential either, because we all have the potential to be anything or do anything, its weather or not they are up to the challenge and he may not be, he may know it, and he may be realizing some things about himself that hes not loving and could be shamed of it.
good luck ; )
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