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I am 24/f. I recently moved out of my house and moved to graduate housing at my university. before i begin, i just want to give a brief description of my family. they are extremely controlling. my mother is absolutely nuts. she is a narcissist and i can tell you that she has ruined my life. both my parents are the most irresponsible people i have ever met in my life and how someone gave them a child is beyond me. i was adopted at birth. all of the paperwork and everything was set up before i was even born. she confessed to me that the reason the adoption finally went through is because she called continuously and harassed them until they gave her the child. i would like to meet the social worker who ruined my life. at this point in my life, i love them because hey are my parents. but, i don't LIKE them as people. i know it's hard for some people to understand. some of you have already read some of the things that i've written, but i will write it again for those who didn't. i need to add a couple more things that happened this weekend.

basically, my mom plays a great actress when she pretends that she wants what is best for me. she doesn't. she wants whatever makes her look good or has money. i am a person of great faith (i am just angry right now). i always thought that the reason that she didn't like my current boyfriend is because we don't share that same faith (we were already together before my conversion) and because she thinks that he didn't have money. She said that he "lacks drive" and just isn't her type. I get that she doesn't like him, but she threatened me several times. She said that if I stayed with him, I could just think of her as dead. You think that might solve the problem if she was just out of the picture, but that isn't true. her threat is just that... a threat... what it really means is that she will make my life miserable. she doesn't mean that she will stay out of my life... but rather, that she will stalk, harass, show up at my door. she even threatened that she was going to beat him up. everyone says to call the police. but, seriously, the police isn't going to do anything about a verbal threat. he has also threatened her because he got angry. so, both of them would be in trouble. i basically told my mom that we broke up, which isn't true. but, it got her off my case. she has been harassing me and harassing me about finding a new boyfriend. she says that she wants to live to see her grandchildren. so, i basically told her that there was a guy from class that i thought was cute, just to get her off my back. at first, she saw a picture of him and she said he was ugly and "forbid" me from seeing him. Then, a few weeks later, she was pretty much telling me that i better knock on his door and throw myself at him. I told her my "concerns" about him were that we didn't share the same strong beliefs and that he was poor ( i just wanted to see what she would say, since that was her gripe about my bf). She said it didn't matter because he was "hot."

The other day, I came back from church and told her I had seen a friend. She asked me if he was cute (the only thing she thinks about is hooking me up with a guy). I told her who it was. I'm here thinking that she would think that this was the perfect guy. The reason I am doing this, by the way is because I'm trying to test what it is she would want from me. what is her ideal vision for my life that I could have for her to leave me alone. this guy is a little bit older, makes a lot of money, we met at church. i was like... she's has to give a positive review. She threw everything on the floor and almost started punching me. she said she forbids me to ever see him and that he's not allowed in the house ever. so, i got in my car, and drove an hour back to my dorm because i said that this is not home if i can't even bring a friend here. additionally, i would like to add that this person has been a great friend. like, he has gone above and beyond what it means to be a friend and if i were a mother and witnessed that, i would be writing thank you notes instead of forbidding the person in the house. i told her that i wasn't angry about her not liking him. i really could not care less. what I'm angry about is the way that she treated me with a lack of respect. till today, she continues to call me to tell me that i am wrong and try to get me to see things from her point of view.

there is nothing to see. she doesn't want what is best for me. her judgement is clouded. however, she continues to control me because i'm living on campus, not in my own apartment. realistically, no matter how much is say i won't speak to her again, she weaves her way into my life. my entire family takes her side because she is "unwell" and i should "know better." they will come to my door and call the police if i chose not to answer. my mom will put herself in an institution just to make it more dramatic. and everyone will say i'm evil. they already do. apparently, i'm the cause of everyone's misfortune.

when my mom has been out of money... since she decided not to work for 20 years. the solution was to steal my identity. even before i turned 18, i had a ton of debt because she used it up. that debt was deleted, but no legal action was taken and no apology was issued. before i came to the faith, my family was involved in the occult. when my 17 year old boyfriend broke up with me, my mom's idea of making me feel so much better was taking me to a warlock who sexually abused me. when i have brought it up to her, she said that she was just trying to make me feel better. i told her that a mother is suppose to build up a child's self esteem, not make them want back a guy that did so much harm to them. she told my cousin about the incident and then they both laughed about it.... i don't think it's funny. and i hate when people say "it could be worse." Everything could be worse. try telling that to a child who was sitting there afraid, being sexually abused and people laughing about. i finally told my dad about it and he said he was angry at both of us. I was just a child and I made that very clear to him. he said my mom has always been very smart and he doesn't know what happened. by the way, my parents are divorced.

most of all, i feel like my dad is a coward who left me with this lady so that he could get away from her. then, everyone just tells me that she is my mom and wants what is best for me because she loves me. she does not love me. she is obsessed with me and thinks that i'm her little barbie doll. if she really did care about me, she would be trying to direct me towards a guy like the third one I mentioned. She would treat me with respect and not throw things at me and people have to stop her from punching me in the face. if she cared about me, she wouldn't steal my identity to buy clothes and then think it's justified because some of the clothes were for me. she wouldn't be laughing about happened to me. i was a victim. i'm so angry at both of them. they could take them to jail, fine them, put a restraining order on them... but honestly, they don't see what they have done wrong. that is what gets me angry. i feel like i am owed an apology. if i can't get that, i feel like i need validation from a jury... someone. i feel so alone. please help.


now, about her being irresponsible

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