Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for years, until his family moved to Alabama. I chose to stay behind to take care of my grandparents. They raised me, I feel I owe them. Now Nick's back and pushing me to choose him over family again.
How do I tell him that while I do love him, I would be unhappy living far away from my family? (link)
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This can be a tough one. I made it clear to my husband when dating early and on all our hours upon hours of talking about everything in life that i could never just up and leave my family. This is my home (its his as well and his family is here and wouldnt want him to leave either) he has ALSO been offered a great job that was across country but after talking about it, turned it down because he loves his family as too much to leave as well.
So you see, its really the kind of thing where you need to try to not have fear about all this and just SAY, i care about US alot but this is my only family thats ever really cared about me and i cant just up and leave them like that and see what he says. Stay calm wish him the best of luck with his new job and that youll always care for him. This will be a test to see how willing he is to make things work with you. this will tell you his determination, and devotion. it did for me at least, and although it WAS a test it was ALSO the truth of the situation.
I'd rather be just OK and making it in life and working and still with my family then without them and have boatloads of money because then, i'd have no one to share it with. Its just not the same when you have to travel hours to get to your family. Also, adjusting to a whole new place youve never been to before LET ALONE have to LIVE there for who knows how long. Its lonely as well because hes at work all day while your still at your new place trying to make it comfortable, and then theres tackling getting to know the lay out of the land of this whole new place!
I just could NOT handle that. In my opinion you only have one family and only so many of those relatives ACTUALLY care about you, so i say stay close to those people if they stayed close to you in the past and tell your man this is how it is and im gonna leave this choice to you but i cannot just up and leave my family.
My mother was dying from breast cancer up until about 3 years ago when she finally passed away. My husband was offered an amazing job across country, and turned down the job. I took care of my mother until her last breath, even up rooting from across town to find a place as close to hers as possible so that i could even WALK to her if need be (which i did with my brand new baby boy in a stroller and he was only about 4 months old) just to make it possible to care for her so she wouldnt have to leave her home and die in a hospice. well i did it and i could not be prouder of myself for staying with my family for as long as she was alive. My father is now ailing and he will be my next family member to die most likely and im not having to help HIM more and more while being a stay at home mother and my husband works a lower end job that isnt at the same pay grade he could have gotten had we moved away and we could not be happier. ; ) think about it. good luck.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks, I need to hear hard truths. I'm sorry about your parents.
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