Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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I have this friend that censures people 24/7 and she thinks it's hilarious but I do not. Recently, she saw my mom, my mom has a small cyst on her face and she made fun of her. It really offended me. She keeps telling me that her whole family criticizes people (as always, she thinks its funny), and I don't know how she can be proud of that. It just shows how immature her family is, and turned her into the immature child she is now. We had an obstacle course test in PE a few days ago (I'm the most unfit skinny person you might ever know) and we had the longest running time cause I'm not used to physical activities and all my groupmates are mad at me including the one that made fun of me, and she has this attitude where you tick her off just a little bit, she ignores you for a really long time. What should I do? I really dont want to go back to cutting myself with shards. (link)
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How "real" can you be with this girl? if shes a good friend try to be gentle and let her know that not everything she says about people is hilarious.
We all have our off days where we'll say something that we thought was funny but wasnt after it came out of our mouth or sounded good before it came out.
Im really admiring your patience with this girl because she honestly sounds like she just shoots her mouth off without thinking first, which no matter how your raised, as you grow up you need to learn that this kind of behavior will not be tolerated by others. So someone needs to put her in check (somehow) before she opens her mouth to the wrong person one day and get hurt.
Maybe you can try just jokingly asking her to ease up a bit with the making fun of people. Start doing it slowly in a joking kind of manner and see what she does. If she says some crap about "this is what shes used to because her family is like that" then say "well everyone elses MIGHT NOT BE, so "lets just make sure we're not offending people all the time"
As a female usually small hints like this over time get her to start rethinking her position.
you could also try distancing yourself from her for what seems like no reason, wait until she asks you if something is wrong and then just tell her your "tired of her mouth and the way shes ALWAYS making fun of people" and that she "needs to just chill out a little because its old now"
OR ((and this is just me)) i would start finding something to make fun of about HER when she makes jokes about people EVERY SINGLE TIME she does it, and when shes offended, say "well im just doing to you what your doing to everyone else?? whats the matter??" and then laugh. sometimes a taste of ones own medicine can help.
Use your best judgement based on her personality and go from there. usually the "wellll.....its not that funny, its OLD now so stop" thing works with people like that from what ive learned.
Give her a chance to redeem herself once youve made your feelings clear. you might also try getting the other friends you have that dont like what she does to agree with you so that you can do this to her all at once. She'll see that shes slowly losing friends one by one and "no one likes what shes doing" and decide to change. If THAT doesnt work then just get all the friends around you to agree with you that what shes doing isnt right and its really cruel and mean spirited and just get them to all ignore her at once until she decides to stop.
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Rating: 5
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It's been a year since I posted this, I didn't have time to reply. Thanks by the way!
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