I've dealt with a lot of stuff. Suicide, abuse, and that girl that's only like 13 and not a virgin. And tons more. I really enjoy getting questions from people, but if you just want to talk for no or any reason, or want a more personal answer, I like it even better when people e-mail me. I'm cool with any topic. I get on my email/ site at least once a week.
P.S: sorry for what looks like bad spelling/ grammar, but really I just have a realllly bad touchscreen. sorry!
E-mail: divergirl123_1@aol.com
Gender: Female
Location: California
Occupation: student
Age: 14
Member Since: July 12, 2012
Answers: 78
Last Update: August 5, 2014
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rainhorse68
lightoftruth
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24f. I did something ridiculously stupid, I'm furious with myself for following the urge... I went and explored my boyfriend's messages on facebook. I have no suspicion of him cheating on me, I trust him completely, and I expected to find nothing.
Thinking logically, now, I really did find nothing. On-line flirting is not a crime in my mind, nor does it count as cheating. I don't believe in "emotional cheating," nor am I concerned about him doing this and causing problems within our relationship. We both have many friends of the opposite sex, and are both pathological flirts, really. Granted, I flirt to get what I need out of people (yes, I manipulate people, but I'm a patient advocate. Sometimes I have to build quick rapport with people in order to get them to help me help my patients) and he seems to just... flirt. Granted, he loves the validation, and I understand that, being aware of his history and how tough it's been for him. Knowing with all my heart and soul that he loves me deeply, and that I am the one he wants and wants to come home to, I don't have a problem with this.
Most of the time.
Sometimes I do feel like I have a problem with it, and when I see flirty messages with a random girl, it gets to me a little. I try very hard not to let it, but sometimes my emotions overrule my logical brain, which I despise. Logically, I know I should just let myself feel, talk it out with him, and ease my mind. But then I'd have to admit to him that I saw the messages - which is my own stupid fault in the first place. I'm not even going to pretend I wasn't snooping. I was.
What the heck is wrong with me?
I HATE girls like this. But I don't believe ignorance is bliss, either. I think what upsets me the most is that it's behind my back. He was messaging her from MY apartment while I was busy working from home. But I'd never have known had I not done the stupid girl thing and read his messages. He does things like leave his facebook up and his phone out because he trusts me not to be one of those crazy jealous girlfriends and "check up" on him - and normally I'm not. I don't know, maybe I just wanted to know what he'd been up to lately, since we've both been very busy.
I feel like I'm being irrational. Mind, I still don't think he's actually doing anything with this girl or anyone other than myself. But why am I so upset from having found flirty messages when it's my fault I found them in the first place?
Someone please give me some insight, here... (link)
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You have absolutely no reason to be upset with yourself. Hello, its facebook! Anyone could have seen it. You're not being 'nosy'; you're being normal. Unless his page was private and not opeen to everyone, then he couldn't possibly get mad with you.
Also, if you're his 'friend' on facebook, he should be expecting the fact that you would look at his page. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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Rating: 3
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I'm sorry, I should've been more specific. It was his messages I was looking at, not his wall. At this point he's an ex. Thank you for the encouragement though. ^_^
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