Good day everyone.
I am a nursing student. My ultimate goal is to be a travel nurse.
I am happily married for over 12 years and have 3 children: ages 6, 4, and 2. Family is the most important thing in the world and I want to help families work out problems so they do not have to be torn apart.
If your family is as important to you as mine is to me, get the help you need. If you do not like my advice, I respect that but look for someone that works for your needs.
Your family is worth it!
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio
Occupation: Home maker/ nursing student
Age: 31
Member Since: October 26, 2007
Answers: 223
Last Update: September 27, 2011
Visitors: 34672
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when i was 15, i had the babybug. it was almost aching, i wanted to have a baby so bad. it lasted for about 4 months and then disappeared for a while. now i'm 17 and its back, but its much worse. i have a boyfriend and we're active. we use protection sometimes, but most of the time we don't. everytime we dont, i have this instant spark of hope that maybe this might be the time that i finally get pregnant. i know, i'm young. i'm almost in my senior year of highschool and i know it'd completely ruin my life if i had a kid now, but i don't care at all. i'd be a great mother. i'm at the point right now where i don't even want to live anymore unless i have something to live for, and in this case, that something would be a baby. i keep having urges to trick my boyfriend into thinking i'm on the pill, but i love him too much to do that to him. he doesnt want a kid.
why am i like this? any why so young? my friends are all scared for me, my boyfriend, too. i'm starting to worry a little, myself. (link)
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I cannot tell you why you are like this. There is a possibility you do not have the relationship with your parents that you desire and thirst for so you want a baby in order to be the parent to your baby that you don't personally have.
You could actually be having hormone fluctuations. If you have, say an elevated estrogen level... you may be feeling that "biological clock ticking" feeling.
I just want to offer you a different way to LOOK at this situation. You say you would be a good mother and this would likely be true. But you said yourself that you are young and this could totally ruin your life. So what would it do to your baby's life? You would have to work extra hard to finish high school/ college. You must go to college if you are going to get a decent paying job. Does your boyfriend want to be a father right now? Is he going to be able to get a great job to support his family? Where would you live (parents are not a great option because YOU are living in THEIR house and would need to follow THEIR rules but would feel that you should be able to live your life the way you want because YOU are the parent of this baby)
If you wait until you are out of high school/college (even having kids in college is not impossible if you REALLY want one that quickly. I have three and am completing my degree as we speak! Now it is very hard... but I have quite a lovely life)... picture the following scenarios:
1. You have 2 months left of high school and you just gave birth. Your boyfriend is resentful because he kinda wants to be a father to his baby but he really wanted to live out the rest of his teen years AS a teen... not have all the responsibilities of a dad. Unfortunately this means he breaks up with you and does what he can to help you but isnt really "into" playing family. You have finals coming up very soon. You have a newborn who needs your constant attention and getting back into school to finish off the year is not going well so you end up taking the test for a GED during the upcoming summer. You are up all night because you are having difficulties getting baby onto a schedule... you ARE a first time parent after all so EVERYTHING is new to you and very overwhelming and you question EVERYTHING hoping you are doing this right because you love this baby SO much that she deserves the world... and you don't know how you are going to give it to her. So the school year passes. All your friends graduated and are about to go off to college. You are studying for your GED. Suddenly your baby comes down with a terrible cough and fever and is diagnosed with RSV. She ends up in the hospital for two weeks because her breathing isnt optimal. Everything turns out ok... but this is a TREMENDOUS amount of stress to deal with along with studying and wanting to get to college in the next semester or two. By the way... where's daddy? He went to college several hours away and hasnt been home to see you or the baby in 4 months. Meanwhile baby is going to have to be spending lots of time with your parents, his parents, various babysitters because you have to work long hours at work... You know there are better days ahead... but this is NOT what you had in mind!!!
2. You have been dying for a baby for several years now. You either stayed with Joe, your high school boyfriend, or else you two broke up but soon after met Bob. Either way you are in a very loving relationship. JoeBob is great. He works hard. You two completed college and got married two months later. You went on your honeymoon and would you believe... you came back pregnant! Thats ok because you and JoeBob could not be happier. He is flipping through the "What to expect" books because he wants to be the best father EVER. He already has a pair of knitted baby booties hanging from his rear view mirror of his car because he just cannot wait to see his new little bundle of love in a few months. The two of you go about your day but in the evening you cuddle on the couch to watch your favorite tv show. Then you turn off the telly and begin making a list of favorite baby names. As it gets closer to the D day you realize you might want to quit work and be a stay at home mom. JoeBob thinks this is great and it is OK because he has such a well paying job... you may have to put off buying the boat you wanted or go on smaller, less lavish vacations for a while. But thats it... you have decided to devote your life and time to this baby. You get to watch her every milestone; holding up her head, rolling over; walking, waving, etc. And at the end of the day once she is tucked safely in her crib, you and JoeBob can cuddle up in bed and realize what a great life you two have made. Wanna make another baby next year?
So it is not exactly my life but scenario 2 comes quite close to my experience. I have known several people go through number 1.
I understand your desire to have a baby. We are actually trying very hard for a 4th!!! But there is a time and a place for everything. You need to understand that having a baby right now would be fun and you would have someone to love... but it is completely unfair to the baby. The best thing for you to do now is to practice being a good mother by being selfLESS, not selfISH. Children deserve a mom and a dad. Children deserve a safe place to live. Children deserve the world!!! And until you are better able to give that to your baby you should wait.
I hope you made it through this long drawn out post... but more importantly, I hope it makes sense and that you are different from all the other teens in that you love your baby so much right NOW (even though it is just a twinkling in your eye) that you are willing to put off her conception until you are able to give her the world... or at the very least a very comfortable life and a loving daddy.
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Rating: 5
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not only have you made my perception a little bit clearer, but you also made me laugh with those scenerios. i know they weren't meant to be comical, but the whole "where's daddy?" and "joebob"...i'm easily amused. thanks so much.
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