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My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
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- Lucy
Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
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Okay so I know this is going to sound like an odd relationship, but my bf and i dont keep secrets from eachother. At all. Well at least thats how he wanted it to be. He told me he never minds if i look at his phone, or if i ask him anything he will always tell me, and he wants me to do the same...and i have been doing that, i always let him look at my texts or sometimes he will on his own nd i dont mind.
Now, last Saturday we got into a fight, and on Sunday we were together becuz we went to lunch with his family. He was texting his friend, and I asked him what about? and he didnt answer so I looked at his phone but he had deleted the convo. So I asked him, hey soo what did you talk about and he said some bs answer that was random.
Later that evening, him, me and his friend and friends brother were all hanging out and my bf and his friends brother went to see his new apartment, while me and his friend stayed back to watch this show we both love. Now during this time, his friend says to me "heyy so how come you said that yesterday?" (referring to the fight i had with my bf) and I was like "What? He told you that?" and he says "Yeah look" and he shows me the whole convo he had deleted off his phone. My instincts were right, my bf had lied to me, because the text was saying all this stuff about me, not really bad stuff, but still it wasnt nice either. He was telling his friend how I was "bitching" and I "ruined his night" etc. If i had seen that earlier on his phone I wouldnt have gotten mad because its just how he feels about our fight and he was telling his friend, its fine. But what made me mad was that he LIED to me about it, something that hes always had this thing with honesty saying how oh, if you ever take your confidence away from me its going to be over because I never once gave you a reason to doubt me blah blah, and truth is he only did once, until now. (i found out about that too) so honestly i felt kinda like well you've lied twice already so i feel kinda betrayed u know?
So even tho i promised his friend i wouldnt say he showed me, I did bring it up to him. I said that why is it that you deleted the text today? What didnt you want me to see? and he says why are you so paranoid it wasnt even about u? thats when i got mad i was like hey i have reason to ask ok I saw the conversation. And i pretty much caught him in a lie, but in order to save his friend since i promised i said that he had shown me something on his phone and I accidentally saw the conversation. Now my bf has been "out of it" as he puts it, this whole week because he says he feels weird about sunday, like he cant believe i did that and looked thru his friends phone, etc etc and hes trying to make me feel guilty. Am I wrong here? And what can I say to him to make him realize hes the one that messed up without giving away the fact that his friend showed me their conversation?
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Guys will be guys, It sounds like the relationship is more controlling then faithful. Despite not keeping secrets from one another EVERYONE needs their space here and there. The more you too keep invading each others privacy the more in time it will become annoying and bothersome. Not all relationships are perfect, I can promise you that he will go to his guy friends from time to time. That is just a guy being a guy, It's normal. I think you are wrong to some degree yes, Only because you aren't letting your boyfriend breathe and you are watching his every move. You two need to learn to trust one another, By trusting..that doesn't mean automatically become suspicious when he sends a text message to one of his buddies. It sounds like your boyfriend may be asking for some privacy and space and the invading his privacy finally got to him.
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Rating: 5
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thanks =) i think so too but the thing is HES the one that wants it that way. Hes the one that set that limit and it bothered me that I was following it and he wasnt. but thank you i agree!
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