Ask Trauma!

Hi everyone! I have 2 boys, they are 4 and 6 years old. Their dad took them for a 2 weeks holliday this summer and decided not to bring them back to me. They spent 3 1/2 months at his place while i fought in 2 provinces to get them back. It finally happened on november 13th. The oldest missed 2 1/2 months of his first grade school year.

That'S it for the context, now, when i get mad and let's say, put my hands on my hips, the oldest has defensive reflexes, i found out he got hit by his father with a fly swapper and a wooden spoon. They also act out a lot, and my youngest has nightmares that he is being taken by a bad guy, and they end up in my bed every night. They have a very hard time going to sleep. Also, last night the 6yo one couldn't stop crying because his dad took him to a fishing and hunting trip and they shot a duck, since the bird wasn't dead, my morron of an ex got the 4yo one to "finish it"by choking it to death with his bare hands. My son is traumatised, he said he could have taken care of it, that he only had one small bullet in his head and that he could have fed him some of the fish they caught. I think it's horrible that he has to live with such horrific images in his head!

Now, what i'm wondering, is should see a specialist with them, or just let them talk and tell me what they've been through on their own. The father is now only allowed to visit them through a visitation center, and supervised. Also what else can i do to help them get better, understand that they won't get hit by me ever, that they are safe now, all that without traumatising them even more and badmouthing their dad. They are like all kids, even if the father is an idiot, they love him very much.

Someone been there? How long for the defensive reflexes to go away?

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