Q: hey, it's me, the girl who you answered to about the question regarding the eating disorders. a lot of people have this problem in their early teenage years, but for me, it started pretty late. it started my senior year in high school, well, the summer that i was going into 12th grade. but, i guess everyone is different, and it just happened to me at that time. i have realized why it happened to me. i think that there were a lot of issues, but now, everything is getting sort of back on track, but there is still some remains of it. i just want to get rid of it for good. i was in this phase at the beginning of it, where i would always just pick the healthy option, and that's good, because that's not really a diet, that's a lifestyle change. like, would order brown rice instead of white, stuff like that. or i'd order the grilled chicken instead of the fried chicken. i had a personal trainer then. but, when i stopped working out with the personal trainer, because they are expensive, and i pretty much knew the routine already, i started becoming really, rally obsessive about calorie counting. i started eating no more than 600 calories a day and i would count the entire day to make sure that i didn't go past my limit. then, i would go to the gym for like two hours. i felt so sick, you could not imagine. well, you probably could if you've been there before. it felt like i was living on a cloud. it was horrible. i didn't know left from right, i wouldn't pay attention in class, and everything just started falling apart, all because i was malnutritioned. i always said it would never happen that i would get out of that little circle, because if i went one calorie over, i would cry. i went to go see a therapist, but she didn't help much because she was just a bad therapist. but, it was as if my obsession was taking over my life. but, i didn't care, as long as i saw bones. it's a sick thing, but only people who have been there would understand. until one day, i couldn't take it anymore. i started eating everything i could find. it's not like it was a sugar attack or like i went to mcdonalds and got a burger with fries and a shake. it was a full out binge, with no sequence. i ate everything from chips, ice cream, to the tuna salad left overs in the fridge. they warned me it would happen, but i didn't believe them. i felt SO sick. it was absolutely the most disgusting thing i had ever done in my entire life. i did the only thing i thought of. i went to the gym and ran until the treadmill said i burned 2000 calories and i then i threw up. i felt so bad. but, then, i started doing it more often. i would binge, and then not eat for two days. i promised myself that after the two days, i would eat normal, but then, because my body was so deprived, it didn't end up happening that way. it was like a vicious cycle. do you have any advice for me on how to break this cycle for good? how to just let it go forever? thank you in advance.

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