about

I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).


I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.


I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.


I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.

advice

My husband and I purchased a cabin in the mountains four years ago. Along with that, we purchased two ATVs (four-wheelers) to ride the thousands of acres of mountain trails adjacent to our cabin property.

We love to have our children and grandchildren visit and have an open door policy where they're concerned.

Recently, my married daughter asked me, in front of her husband, if we would be willing to let them use the cabin for use with her husband's family. We told her we would have to think about it. We discussed it briefly with them and never gave them an answer.

My husband and I had already talked about this situation because we knew it would come up. I had expressed to my daughter shortly after we purchased the cabin that this was a "family only" cabin and was not open to in-laws. My daughter told me at that time that she understood. I feel like she was put up to asking me by her husband.

My husband and I feel strongly that we don't want my daughter's in-laws, or any other in-laws for that matter, accessing our cabin. Our cabin is as personal as our home, and I wouldn't lend out the use of my home to just anyone.

Also, I'm worried about the liability issue concerning the use of our four-wheelers and also who would be responsible if they damaged them.

I also feel like if we open up the cabin to this set of in-laws, our other children would assume that they would be entitled to bring their in-laws and friends to the cabin, which rightfully so they should.

Am I being too possessive of "my cabin"? I don't want to alienate my son-in-law, but, again, I don't feel I have any obligation to provide his family with a weekend retreat. I'm afraid if we allow it "just this once" that it will become expected that they can use it any time.

Please advise. Thanks

No, I do not feel you are being too possessive of your cabin. And you are correct by thinking that from a liability issue they would not be covered, not only via damage to the 4 wheelers, but injury to themselves or other property.

As long as they are guests while you are present, they should be covered (but check with your insurance company to be sure).

This is probably the approach you would want to take with your son-in-law. Hopefully he will understand.

Also most likely you want the cabin to be available when you want to use it and not have to deal with others staying there, their schedules and so on. In addition it's not for lease or timeshare, it's for personal use.

I think if you give an inch--they make take a mile, so you will have to stand your ground in a firm but fair manner. Offer to help them find local accomdations if they want to drop by for a visit perhaps.

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(Rating: 5) Thanks. Why didn't I think of that?
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