about

I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).


I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.


I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.


I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.

advice

15 / f

i have known this girl since elementary school, and we have been "best friends" (i've had other best friends in between until i realized it's pointless to have just ONE best friend).

i've never really had many classes with her throughout middle school, but this year, my freshman year of high school, she's in virtually all my classes.

now at first, we were both elated! we finally got to see each other more often.

but that soon turned around. by december, i knew that i was ready to burst. it hit me. she was absolutely perfect. but the ONE little tiny thing that just made me scream and caused nights of crying myself to sleep was the fact that: every. single. grade. in every. single. one of our mutual classes. she ALWAYS gets the same or (more often) BETTER grade than me on EVERYTHING. homework, tests, quizzes, projects, you name it. and it made me want to vomit. i tried SO HARD. i even bought a new desk to get myself motivated enough to do my homework and really really study.

no one has any idea i feel this way about her. i hate her more than anyone on the face of the planet, pretending to be her best friend. everytime i look at her i just want to slap her. that's all. just give her one hard slap and give her brain cells a little ride so she'll stop getting less than 110% on EVERYTHING.

and what makes it worse? besides the fact that she's always trying to ask me what's wrong and comfort me when she's the problem, after several tests we've taken, she's CONVINCED. like ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CONVINCED. that she failed. and like usually i HATE being like, "oh that wasn't so bad" cause i don't get a 100. but she was CONVINCED. we both get our tests back the day after, and she got an A and i got a B. and i was BEYOND irate.

i'm naturally an extremely jealous person, but she is in 203849023 clubs and she's always saying how she never has anytime to do anything yet she finds the time to do better than ME and i barely do one club.

someone has to help me. i'm seriously losing it. i try so HARD on everything and she reads a packet once and gets a 100 and i read it 20 times, highlight, and outline and get a 95. she's ALWAYS better than me. and i severely need advice on how the hell do deal with this situation. and it's not like i can just go upto her and be like, "dude, i hate you. you're too perfect." and i've TRIED studying WITH her but it makes me want to puke being near her. i tried, i tried. it does no good. i try to get away from her as much as possible and not talk to her but it's hard. it's not that she's a really nosy person, she actually cares about me. it's not that she's a bad person either, i just want to look at my report card and be proud. and i can't. i want to cry.

in conclusion, help me stop being so jealous of this girl's grades and / or life to the point of violent thoughts taking over my brain.

It might help to think of it this way. Your friend/classmate sounds like a perfectionist. She is actually harder on herself than you are on her--I mean sweating it out thinking that she failed when she never does. She has no self confidence.

Don't sweat it that you are not like her, everyone and I mean everyone has some kind of talent and something that they are good at. If you try the hardest you can and do the best you can that is reason enough to be proud. Think of all the people with a sucky attitude that don't even try!

If you can, try to switch modes until it becomes a habit. Congratulate her on a job well done, build her up, all that positive energy will return to you. Karma..it has a strange way of working. You will then soon find something that you can do better than her.

While good grades are nice, there are plenty of average people in this world that become very successful!

I am going to give you kudos for caring about your grades...that says a lot, but don't ruin friendships over it.

.........
Note: Left after feedback: Wow! Actually if you read my answer, it does give you tips to not be jealous. Change your approach and it will become habit. When someone is bitter and hateful it will be more difficult, but you can change! the "get a grip" was probably better advice. Have a good day!

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(Rating: 3) i'm not ruining my friendship. i'm jealous of her and my original question was how to stop being jealous of her, not asking for your opinion on my choices and actions.
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