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Yeahh okay im 14/f, im not to young so dont even say that cause im about to be 15. Dont worry!
So like im not saying i want it to happen, like having sex. But sometimes it just happens, and I want to be prepared. Because me and this guy were making out like A LOT on the floor and like he started to unzip my pants and stuff, but I have MORALS! I told him not to. But like even if I wanted to go for it, like idk if Im ready. Like in the emotinal since and like physically because im not on birth control : which im really scared to ask my mom about, and I didnt have a condom, like I know he may have had one but I wouldve felt better if I carried them too : which I would feel very embarassed about buying.
So what I really am asking advice about it is:
-How do I know Im ready?
-How do I tell my mom I might need birth control?
-How do I find a way to be more comfortable buying condoms?
In general how do I protect myself! lol
Thank you for reading this long piece of crap :]] (link)
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Here are a few tings to consider:
(1) At the age of 14/15, regardless of how emotionally ready you feel to be, you're not legal. The guy you're with could be charged with statutory rape even if you're totally willing.
(2) As other responders have pointed out, if you're not prepared to buy condoms, you're not ready to have sex. These days, you're putting your life at risk if you can't communicate about sex openly and without reservation. If you can't do that, YOU'RE NOT READY.
(3) Sex doesn't "just happen". At some point, those involved make a conscious decision for it to happen. People who say that it Just Happens are dodging responsibility for their actions, which is another sign of emotional immaturity.
Now, there are also some positives going on here:
(1) You were with a guy, he unzipped your pants, and you told him to stop because you didn't feel like it was the right time. That was a smart move, no matter what your age or level of experience; if it doesn't feel right, don't do it!
(2) You are absolutely right that you should provide your own birth control. It should be a shared responsibility, but the fact of the matter is that YOU will bear the consequences of a failed condom, so it's in your best interests to make sure they're available.
Now, I will answer your actual questions as best I can:
(1) There are a lot of things that have to fall into place before you're ready, but the most important one is this: You're ready when you can deal with the consequences of failed birth control. No matter what precautions you take, there is always a chance.
(2) Don't just go up to your mom and say, "I need to arrange for birth control" - unless you want to witness a five-alarm freakout. I suggest that you begin the conversation with your first question: "How do I know when I'm ready?" That will lead to a more productive conversation, and it may actually answer that first question more completely than I or anyone else on this site ever could.
(3) Becoming comfortable with buying condoms is one of the ways you can tell if you're ready. Since you're a young girl, though, be prepared for the fact that some places will simply refuse to sell them to you. Here's something else to keep in mind: DON'T buy them from a vending machine! Those things sit in there for months, even years, and they have an expiration date.
(4) How do you protect yourself? Well, I hate to sound like President Bush (really, you have NO idea how much I hate to sound like President Bush) but you need to practice abstinence for now. Even if you feel ready, the guys you do it with might not be - in which case you could end up with a skanky reputation, an unpleasant disease, or a small human being in your uterus. At the very least, wait until you're sixteen so no one has to run the risk of getting arrested and charged as a sex offender.
Bottom line: I've never heard of a 14- or 15-year old girl who had sex and was later glad she did it so soon. I've heard many, many men and women who said they were glad they waited until they were genuinely ready. You have time.
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Rating: 5
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thank you! best answerr ever: ]]
you helped me a lott
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