about

Hey kids! My name is Amanda, but call me Manders. I'm a psychology/neuroscience/biology student. Throw me questions and I'll throw you an answer. :)

advice

There's a guy from school who had a big crush on me. He knew absolutely nothing about me, and yet he still liked me. He used to keep talking to me and trying to get me to go on a date with him. After a while we started instant messaging on yahoo, and I got to know him a little better. At first I thought he was kind of cute, but I wasn't really that into him once I got to know him. I didn't want to lead him on, so finally I told him very nicely that I would just like to remain friends. He got mad at me! Now he's not talking to me at all. I told him we could still be friends, but he doesn't care. And it makes me wonder, was he even interested in me as a person or did he just want me to be his girlfriend? Anyway, now I feel bad about rejecting him (even though I did it very gently, I didn't diss him or anything) and I don't even think we're friends anymore. What should I do now?

Try not to feel bad for rejecting him. Put yourself in his shoes. Which would hurt worse: Being rejected up front, or being led on? I'm going to say that from personal experience, I know that being led on hurts a LOT more than being rejected from the get-go.
With rejection comes a chance to move on. He now has the chance to have a relationship with someone who he's more compatible with, and returns his feelings. That's better than him trying to win someone over who will never have romantic feelings towards him.

If you already tried talking to him about it, then you've done all you can do. Give it time, and if you're meant to be friends again, you will. Just trust that whatever happens will be in the best interests of the both of you in the long run.

You did the right thing, so try not to feel bad. =]

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!
-Manders

[view]


(Rating: 5) thanks for the advice

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker