Good day everyone.
I am a nursing student. My ultimate goal is to be a travel nurse.
I am happily married for over 12 years and have 3 children: ages 6, 4, and 2. Family is the most important thing in the world and I want to help families work out problems so they do not have to be torn apart.
If your family is as important to you as mine is to me, get the help you need. If you do not like my advice, I respect that but look for someone that works for your needs.
Your family is worth it!
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio
Occupation: Home maker/ nursing student
Age: 31
Member Since: October 26, 2007
Answers: 223
Last Update: September 27, 2011
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So I asked a question a couple of days ago about my boyfriend who was constantly hanging out with his ex (who's a slut and cheated on him multiple times) and I thought he didn't like me and whatnot. But anyway, he cheated on me, and I was extremely hurt... he told me that he'd never hurt me and that I deserved the best, and I actually caught him and his ex making out. Now I haven't talked to him in 3 days, but I've seen him and he looks extremely depressed and he keeps saying he's so sorry. And now it makes me feel horrible for not talking to him because he seems so sincere and apologetic, and he keeps telling me that he understands it if I don't wanna talk to him... but I just feel bad for ignoring him. But I was just so damn hurt by what he did I didn't even want to look at him. But I still feel horrible, he just looked so sad and I just ignored him. Am I doing the right thing by not talking to him? I miss him. (link)
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Cheaters and abusers have cycles. They make you think you are the only one their hearts desire. Then something happens (usually YOUR fault but not necessarily) that "makes" them do their "thing", either cheat, hit, whatever, and then a day or so later they are OH so sorry and beg you to forgive them.
I am a psych. student studying families and relationships. I am not lisenced yet. I am telling you this only because I want you to understand that this is not advice coming from someone bitter who has had this happen. This is unbiased. If he is a habitual cheater, he WANTS you to feel so bad that you take him back. That is how they manipulate.
I am not saying this guy is DEFINITELY a chronic cheater, but if he is capable of cheating once, it is ABSOLUTELY LIKELY that he will do it again. He doesn't have strong enough will power to tell himself "this is wrong. I am with someone right now and should not be doing this". That little voice inside him is being silent.
It is especially hard for you because you miss him. You WANT to believe he is truly hurt and remorseful and will never do it again. Just be careful. You deserve someone who only has eyes for you. Not you, and his ex, and the girl who just moved next door, etc.
I hope this wasn't too hard to bear. Typing can sound heartless sometimes. It is always best to hear intonations of a voice but in an advice column... this is the best I can do.
Good luck.
Do you know WHY he has an EX rather than still dating her? Do you know if he has cheated before? He may genuinely be upset that you have not spoken to him because I am sure he is very upset... but not completely because you are mad at him. Part of this is because he got caught.
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Rating: 5
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Yeah, that's what I don't understand... he says he hates his ex for cheating on him but before he cheated on me, he talked to her way more than he ever talked to me. But yet he INSISTS that he hates her for what she did. And then he goes and cheats on me. How hypocritical, right? Well anyway thanks so much for your advice.
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