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i'll try not to make this too long. so there's this guy named joe, and he just got out of a relationship with this girl, they were together for about 5 or 6 months. (we r 15 by the way). anyway, he and this girl gave each other oral sex. recently, me and joe have been talking and flirting, and we like each other. i think his friends know that. well recently he became kind of popular. i'm in between popular and like...normal. anyway so he was grinding with me at this dance a few nights ago. online we have been having really intense talks about like, how far i would go with a guy and i said i wouldn't go past feeling up for a while. he said that that might eventually push us apart because he has such a high sex drive (this was like a week ago). anyway, he came to my house this weekend and we made out a lot and stuff. and it really seemed like he liked me, he would randomly come up and hug me really tight and just sort of nuzzle into my neck. well since then we haven't really been talking too much. online i will try to start conversation and he will just answer and say nothing else...and at school he has been flirting with other girls (but he's a really big flirt and we aren't official yet or anything). also, 2 nights ago he told my friend that he was going to ask me to our homecoming dance...but he hardly talks to me. should i ask him if he is still interested? i fell for him really, really hard and i'm so scared that if i ask if he's not interested, he will admit that that's true, and i'll lose him. what should i do? (link)
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If you are constantly chasing Joe around, you are giving him self-satisfaction because it seems to me this is what he wants.
I’d play him at his own game. Act slightly interested but also act sour towards him…after all..you would only be imitating his behaviour towards you.
His behaviour may I add, is unacceptable. It seems to me that Joe is either doing this to cause a reaction because he likes you. or he is just another jerk who is messing you around, and has no interest.
Either way you need to know where you stand. He’s already made it clear he has no clue whatsoever on how a girl’s mind works so instead of confronting you, he’s typically immaturely ignoring you. To some degree.
When you to get talking again, even if its not the way you want the pair of you to be heading, I’d make this clear. After all., Your emotions are very fragile at this point in life .
Explain to him that he CAN NOT continue to behave in this manor.
(Eventually girls will realise what he’s like and sensibly step far away from him)
This is an awful thing to say, but I think Joe is behaving this way either because
A)You didn’t give him what he wanted that weekend
Or a more upbeat 2nd suggestion
b) he DOES like you, and is possibly afraid for what you may feel, and so is testing you to see what your reaction is. (…in one of the worst ways possible)
Whatever the reason, it is affecting you undesirably. The next step is deciding what YOU need to do.
I don’t want to bring your hopes up, or let them down. But seriously if I were you- I would have left him after that conversation you had.
If he says he has a high sex drive, and that you not having a high libido will part the pair of you, I hope you realised that he only wants one thing.
And any sensible girl knows that one single boy is not worth that torture.
Leave it a few days to see how he acts around you. And if he does ask you to homecoming, which is great, I WOULD say yes, we need to talk first.
After all, it would be bloody cheeky of him to expect you to say
“Oh yes of course I will! You’re the best Joe!!!”
Ok maybe not THAT squeakily happy…
…But he’d better not be expecting you to be grateful with the fact he’s asked you after all of his bull.
If he wants to avoid the situation where you would tell him how he’s made you feel, I would leave him :(
I really wish you the best, it seems to me you really like this guy, but I hope that if things don’t turn out all right, you find a better guy who can make you happier, and someone who will not pull the same stunts as Joe.
Take care, and chin up! :)
- Alex
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Rating: 5
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thank you so much for the time you put into this answer! i REALLY appreciate it!
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