kc's advice column

So I went out with my boyfriend for 2 months last night and I've been out of the country for 3 weeks and last night was the first time i've seen him since then... when I got there he was standing in the doorway and he didn't come out to hug me or kiss me which I didn't like... so when I got into his house the for the first time in our relationship, the first thing he said was ughhh my head hurts (he had a migraine) and his best friend (girl) was there and they were playing the games that I let him borrow while I was out. Well then my bf who was in pain laid on his bed and I showed him the gifts that I got him while I was out and he didn't seem really excited about getting them... he was actually kind of apathetic and gave me some weird looks when I showed him some of the funny stuff that I got for him when I was in China and Japan... By the way we're both gay which will make this part make sense... so he was laying on his bed and he asks Dana his best friend to come and lay on his chest... not me, but his best "girl" friend so then i felt kind of like shit since he obviously didn't want me to hold him or anything... then after that when his friend left we just laid there and like stared at each other
and didn't cuddle or anything and I asked him to come over but he wouldn't... then more awkward silence came and then he was like... I really need to get to bed... so then I just said.. alright well i guess i'll go... then he goes "i'm sorry..." so then I walk out and he's standing there and he doesn't hug me so then I come up to him and hug him and he doesn't try and kiss me like we usually so then I just left and he was like "bye" then he went back into his house before I got into the car... I don't know what's wrong with him... so I drove home broken hearted and was just really sad about that...

Anyway this morning my friend told me I should call him and leave him a message and an ultimatum... The thing is is that I'm having dental surgery this morning that's kind of serious cause they can actually tear a nerve if it goes wrong and my bf knows about it but he didn't call me to say good luck or anything so I left him a message saying

"Hey James I'm about to go into surgery and... I was kind of disappointed about last night since it was the first time I've seen you in three weeks and you were acting pretty distant the whole time... I don't know what's up but if you still want to be with me leave me a message sometime today...
*click*"

and yeah, my question is did I do the right thing by making an ultimatum like that?? I mean he could've actually had a migraine that would make him emotionally stagnant but I don't think that's what it was because even if you have a migraine or w/e you should at least hug your boyfriend and let him know physically and emotionally that you've missed him for such a long time....

bleh.
thanks for the answers, really appreciate it.

I believe what you did was more than fine. For him to act like that after you guys not seeing eachother for a while is heartbreaking. It is a possiblity that because you guys did not see eachother for so long he kind of lost feeling. What could most likely happen is that after seeing eachother a little more it could go back to normal. You handled that situation VERY well. If I were you, I probably would have punched him in the face. I personally think that you deserve better. Good luck to you, and I'm sorry he was a jerk.

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(Rating: 5) thanks yeah.. I really appreciate it.. he still hasn't called me so *shrugs*

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