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I really like my best friend Jacey's boyfriend, Tom, So what do I do? (link)
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Best friends' boyfriends are off-limits. To consider him otherwise would be disrespectful to your friend.
The sole exception to this rule is if you feel you are truly in love with him - not wow-he's-cute love, but genuine I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-him love. If that is the case, then you need to tell your friend about it - and be prepared to lose her over it.
That's what's at stake if you pursue this guy in any way. That's what your risking if you reveal your feelings. It's not worth it for "really like".
Now, depending on how strong Jacey and Tom's relationship is, and depending on how close you are with Jacey, it might be safe to tell her about your feelings for him even if it's not real love. That's a judgment call that only you can make. But err on the side of caution! In an ideal world, friends can tell each other anything, but we live in reality and she could be seriously upset by such a revelation. Consider very carefully whether it's best to spill the beans or hold your tongue.
Real friends are few and far between. Think hard before you risk losing one.
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Further response, based on feedback:
If your attraction to Tom is something you told her about once before, then she is probably still aware of it. However, under such circumstances, it probably wouldn't hurt to tell her that your feelings haven't changed. Make sure you stress that you would never try to "steal" him away from her or otherwise stab her in the back, but that as a friend you feel that you need to be honest with her about this.
Best-case scenario: she decides that you and Tom makes more sense than Jacey and Tom, and essentially steps aside. Of course, don't forget that Tom also has a say in all this, and he may simply not feel the same way about you as you do about him.
Keep it honest, and keep it above board. No one should be able to blame you for having feelings. Actions are what count, and as long as you act honorably, you're being a good friend.
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Rating: 5
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thank you soooo much. You told me clearly that if me and Jacey are really close that I shouldnt go for Tom unless I truly love the guy. But i mean what sholuld I do if she is alright with me still having feelings for him? She knew before we were good friends that I liked him, and we are still good friends. What should I do?
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