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14 f
my boyfriendd really wants to finger me. neither of us have before .. ive givenn a hj hes gotten one and then hooking up and all that junkk.. but i don't know what to expectt on this one. like what am i supposed to do? how much is it going to hurt? what happenss if/when like he pops my cherry or something lol idk i feel raelly stupid asking this but i dont knoww anything about this. im kinda scared but i lovee him and im ready to move onn . help! xo (link)
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You're scared because you think he is going to insert finger(s) into your vagina and that it's going to hurt. So it's important that you don't rush things. Here are some ideas how to avoid any discomfort:
1) You'll feel more relaxed if you're in control. So ask him to gently rub your clitoris, and insert his finger ONLY IF/WHEN you ask him to (technically, it's still fingering even if clitoral massage is all he does). It's extremely important that you get aroused first by clitoral stimulation, because thet way your vaginal wall won't be dry, and inserting fingers won't hurt. Just to be sure, let his fingers be moistened with saliva or KY jelly. And make sure he washes his hands before he touches your nether regions! ;)
2) It will be most helpful if you masturbate by yourself first. That will help you know how you like to be touched and what can make you orgasm. Many girls don't know how to touch their clitoris, and most boys (even older guys) are absolutely clueless! So knowing how to do it yourself will enable you to communicate your likes and dislikes to your boyfriend.
3) A girl is a virgin until she has intercourse, which means until a guy's penis enters her vagina. So don't be afraid to explore your body. Feel free to insert a (lubricated!) finger into your vagina. When one finger feels comfortable, insert two. All this will help you feel less stressed out when your boyfriend does the same thing. The rule of the thumb is, before you try intercourse, you should be able to insert two (lubricated!) fingers into your vagina without any discomfort. You get there by practising.
Enjoy experimenting, and feel free to ask if I wasn't clear about something in this answer! :)
Love
Agnes
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