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ok there is this kid that likes me, but i dont like him. he told me yesturday thru text and i couldnt write anything back. i dont want to tell him anything that will hurt him because i kno what it feels like to like someone who doesnt like you back. so how do i tell him, hurting him the least possible. thanks in advance!!! (link)
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One of my favorite all-purpose pieces of advice is this: If one must pull a tooth, it is mistaken kindness to do it slowly.
He's probably going to be a little hurt. There is nothing you can do about that, unfortunately; it is the nature of the game of love that sometimes people will feel attraction for those who don't feel it in return, and they will be hurt by it. The best you can do is tell him the truth, and do it with kindness.
I wouldn't recommend texting him back; that's awfully impersonal, and in fact I'm not very impressed with him that he told you that way. Besides, it's also barely within the realm of possibility that he didn't actually send that message; someone else might have done it under his name. For those reasons, you need to see him face-to-face, if it's at all possible.
Then be honest with him. Tell him that you simply don't have the same feelings for him in return. He might press the issue, saying "give me a chance" or "what's wrong with me?" The answer to the first is to say that you would rather not give him false hope. As for the second, you really don't owe him an explanation; all you need to tell him is, "I simply don't feel that kind of connection between us. Please don't make this harder than it needs to be."
If he continues to be persistent and won't be reasoned with, then you may be more abrupt and walk away if that's what it takes.
Here's what NOT to say:
"We can be friends." Don't say that unless you mean it. If what you really mean is, "I don't actually want to hang around you at all," than don't make an offer of friendship.
"I'm sure you'll find someone." That's just patronizing.
"You're a terrific guy." His natural response to that will be, "Bullcrap. If you really thought that, you'd go out with me."
It sucks to have to breaks someone's hopes, but he will get over it. Good luck.
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