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I am 43 years old and have been married to a loving, thoughtful man for 16 years and we have a 14 year old son.
Unfotunately,a recent argument has spurred my husband to suddenly decide to take an overseas civilian contractor job in Iraq for 6 months! The original source of the argument was petty (I moved a drinking glass) but he says that he's short tempered because he's been under a lot of stress lately over the deep financial debt we're in. (We have an astronomical mortgage payment and three vehicle payements which take up practically our entire paychecks.) He says this job will pay $8000 a month and we can have all the cars paid off in 6 months and will be able to live a little more comfortably.
To make a long story short, I'm so angry and scared over this that it's making me physically ill. We've had several fights over this and I'm at the point now where I can barely stay under the same roof with him. He says I'm not being supportive while I think he should have looked into local job options or let me take a night job. Most of all, I think he should have given this more thought. (My husband has a long history of doing impulsive things only to regret them later - which is why we have the three car payments and the huge mortgage!) Instead, he let his friends talk him into this and only three weeks after the initial incident which started all this, he's all processed and is set to fly out on April 29th. So much for giving this some thought!!!
I've got no one to talk to about this and have been pretty much keeping to myself over the past couple of weeks. I just don't know how to cope with this. He slapped me with this so suddenly and expects me to be cool with it.
Am I being unreasonable? I'm so confused and so full of resentment that I can't think straight. One minute I'm crying and the next minute my blood is boiling in rage.
Any advice would be appreciated. I know that you military wives are in a different situation because your husbands have no control over where they are sent and you are put into a position where you HAVE to cope while my husband will be going over there voluntarily. But I'd still like to hear how you cope. What emotions did you have to deal with?
And if there are any other overseas contractor spouses out there in the same situation I'm in now, I'd definitely love to hear from you.
Thanks. (link)
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HI
wow, you should actually be happy to go over sees. I grew up oversees. Im an american, too, but all my life i grew up in a place next to afghanistan, in the middle of the war (just in the beginning).
so your probably like freeked out of all the war going on over there, and that oyu have to dress weird? Sorry, but i didnt quite understand. Or is your husband just going? If you want some help from me, i would be happy enough to give you a lot of details, because my father can ask some people which he used to work with. just go to my profile and click on the question thingy. sorry that this doesnt make sense. hope i kinda helped..and i'll talk to you later. Take care
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Rating: 3
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Actually, he is going over there by himself. I'll be staying behind. Thanks for your perspective on things.
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