about

I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).


I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.


I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.


I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.

advice

I'm a 23 year old girl

This is important ,...I love my bf with all my heart but it seems like I completley lost interest in sex .
To be honest I never was interested to have sex with any one ,....I do love him but I just don't want people to get close to me ..I DON'T LIKE THAT.When he is on top of me I get sick and very uncomfortable and sometimes want even to cry ....But I never told him nothing

I hate the fact that I can't satisfy him ,since I always has an excuse or come home very late just to escape from the occassion....

I want to stop feeling this way ,.....The problem is me not him

Tell me what to do ....,

Since you mentioned that you don't like people to get close to you, I highly doubt that you have a physical problem. However, it would be wise to see your physician to rule out any health issues before doing anything else.

Since I don't know your background, I can only touch on these things here..but I am not saying that this happened. Sometimes woman who were abused as children, or have been taken advantage of as a teen or adult feel the way you do. Also it often depends on the attitude of your parents or other adults around you took towards sex. If any of these things have been an issue with you, look towards counseling to help you overcome those obsticles then work on the sexual relationship.

It may be that you love your boyfriend, but it is so much of a brotherly or friendship type love that it is difficult to be attracted to him physically. In that case he may not be the partner that would suit you best in an intimate relationship. If you are trying to escape from sex now, pretty soon it will be everything little thing about him that irks you. Even the most insignificant things. If you see that as happening you may want to consider moving on from the relationship. Two people who are in deep serious love, usually feel completely comfortable with one another, if it is one sided, it will never work.

If you are committed to making the relationship work out, ask him to start over. Take it slow and learn to accept his touch in a non sexual manner. It can be as simple as holding hands or kissing, and stopping there for a while before moving on to the next stage. I have always had this saying "Making love starts outside the bedroom" meaning if he is not loving you in a nonsexual way, and helping you feel good about yourself, the sex part will become dull and pretty soon you will feel like you are making a sacrafice for him and getting nothing in return.

There is probably no quick easy answer, but will take a series of steps to find the solution. Take it one day at a time and relax...you are not the only one who has ever felt this way.

[view]

(Rating: 5) Thank you ,....I had so much doubt,Idon't have mother or father to talk to,they both left us when we were small.Since than I'm a complete closed woman /I was surprise to get through a relationship for 3 year long escaping reguraly from sex,.....I feel stupid and the worst is that I can't talk about this with nobody ............thank you

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker