duudee_advicer's advice column

well my boyfriend is in 8th grade and i'm in 7th. but were both thirteen. we've been dating for almost 4 months now but i've been getting kinda bored with him. i don't know. lately everything just seems sort of dull. like before, when ever i would get a text message i would stop wat i was doing and look right away to see who it is and what it say. but lately i've been just like kay whatever, i'm going to finish what i was doing before i look at it. and also before i was always excited and anxious to make plans with him but lately i couldnt care less if we made plans or not. i'm always just like kay, whatever. don't really matter.. and its not that i met someone new or anything, i just also feel like i'm loosing patience with him and some of my feelings for him. my best friend yesterday told me he went out and bought condoms recently so last night when me and him were texting i didn't let him know that i knew but i told him that i wanted to start over with him and slow things down even though we weren't moving fast, i just wanted to move a few notches slower and start over. and kept asking me why and stuff and i didn't want to tell him that i knew so i lied and came up with the excuse that i didn't want to do anything that would ruin me and him or become part of our relationship no matter what it was besides hugs and kisses. and he was like asking me a billion questions about it and the one answer i can come up with, i don't want to tell him and that is that i don't want to start to do something and then have it lead farther on because i know that it always leads up to sex and i don't want to have sex at 13. i want to keep my virginity for awhile. and i already told him that once and he said he was okay with that and he would wait until i'm ready, but the truth is is i want to just act as boyfriend and girlfriend all the time with him like holding hands and him putting his arms around me like he always does but not do anything more than that. if you know what i mean. please, any advice would be helpful!

Hi there.

The reason you're feeling less crazy about
him is most likley cause the 'heat' is wearing
off. This is totally normal, this is when
you find out if you truly love each other.
In the beginning, you're excited with your
new boyfriend. The kissing and hugs are new
and exciting, but then when they become
old news, so does your guy. So this is when
you rely on things you both share in common
to keep your love going strong. Try doing
something new with him, play paintball, go
on a walk through town, play DDR until you
both topple over. Just try something new.

Now for the sex part.
In my opinion, you can have sex whenever
you want. There is really no rule that says
you need to wait until a certain age. Now if
you're close to God, you know you should wait.
However, if its your thing go for it. I'm not
going to stop you. But since you said you
didn't want to, just be honest with your
boyfriend. Tell him you heard about the condoms
and quite frankly you aren't ready for that.
If he breaks up with you, then you KNOW
he wasn't right. Although, it might now be what
you want right away, it'll be good in the long
run. (Not exactly what you want to hear,
but its the truth) Remember, you have
your reputation, your morals, your
parent's trust, and your life at risk
with a descision as big as that. So think
it through. If you don't have the guts to
tell him no, then get out of the relationship
as soon as you can.

Now to get him to be all boyfriend like.
Hold HIS hand, put your arm around HIM.
Let him know that you like being touched.
Kiss him when you want, don't wait for him.
Sometimes you have to step up and be
the 'guy' in the relationship.

Good Luck

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(Rating: 5) thanks! that really helps alot!

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