about

Hey kids! My name is Amanda, but call me Manders. I'm a psychology/neuroscience/biology student. Throw me questions and I'll throw you an answer. :)

advice

I always look at the bad side of things. So basically that makes me sad or worried all the time. How can I become more optimistic and see the good side of things? =]

Honestly, there's no "big secret" to becoming an optimist, nor does it happen overnight. Believe me, I used to be a complete pessimist, but I changed my attitude, and managed to become an optimist. It's not as simple as it sounds, but that's really what happened. I'll go into more detail about what I did to change.

Optimists and pessimists have everything in common. Both have similar lives, with good times and bad times. The only difference? Their attitudes. A pessimist, like you said, looks on the negative side of situations. An (healthy) optimist will see the negative, and accept it, while focusing on the positive. The reason I said "healthy" optimist is because there IS such a thing as being too positive. (For instance, thinking that you shouldn't lock your doors at night because you have so much faith in people that you think that no one would break into your house.)

Like I said, I'm a pessimist-turned-optimist, so I definitely know what you're feeling right now. First of all, have faith in yourself. You have every reason to believe that you can change your attitude and become an optimist. I have faith in you, and others do as well, so why not have faith in yourself?
That's the first step. You have to overcome your destructive thoughts. (The pessimistic thoughts; thinking that you can't achieve your goal.) A pessimist usually doesn't believe in herself. Well, you're not gonna be a pessimist anymore, so start believin'! =]

Now, you need to start using your newfound optimism in everyday life. This is actually more simple than you may think. Like I said before, there's no big secret to optimism.

Take a look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? You're probably thinking something negative, such as, "Wow, my nose is HUGE!" Well, stop it right now! Whenever you start thinking of something negative, stop. Look at the other features on your face. Think, "Wow, I have pretty eyes. I've never noticed that before." Now, I'm not saying that you should go out and start bragging, but you need to say these things to yourself, and be honest. More than likely, if you focus on the bad, you won't notice the good.

I'm not going to lie to you: No matter how optimistic and happy you may get, bad times are going to happen. It's like that in everybody's life. But, you're an optimist now, so you need to look at the bad times differently. Without the bad times, we couldn't appreciate the good times. Really, without the bad times, we wouldn't even know the difference! Think of them that way. Talk to someone you trust if you need to. Remember that all things do pass, and that bad times are usually followed by something great.

I know this is long, and I'm sorry. But I just thought you'd like to hear everything from someone whose been where you are now. I'm here, and I have faith in you!

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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(Rating: 5) THANKS SO MUCH
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