Q: i pretty much already know the answer to my question, but i wanted to see other people`s perspectives...

so i have a boyfriend & i have known him since february, 2006, and we actually saw each other again in june. then in august, he got the balls to ask me to be his girlfriend. over the few months that i got to know him, i saw that..."it" factor i`ve always been looking for. He seemed perfect for me. The bad thing...we`re both major druggies but he`s a lot worse than me. He thinks he`s invinceable and that he knows what he`s doing (which he pretty much does) but i still get worried. Sometimes i think that he`d rather party and be with his friends than be with me. Since my mom found out about us, i haven`t been allowed at his home. he`s always welcome at my place, but he thinks the only reason my mom wants him over is so she can bitch him out. that`s not the case, and i feel like we`re drifting apart. and then when i actually do talk to him (maybe once or twice a month) i feel the way i did when i first met him. he makes me fall even more in love for the time i don`t talk to him. i saw him about 2 weeks ago...but before that, i didn`t see him for 2.5 months. then his phone got disconnected, so i can only talk to him when he`s with a friend, and even then we only talk for a few minutes. To top that off, he gets high && drunk EVERY FREAKING WEEKEND...and almost every day. I say to him, "That`s not cool, or healthy." and he`ll say, "But it`s all good because i`m an alcoholic and i know what i`m doing. Plus, you`re a girl, and it`s easier for you to get sick." and then i`ll make a smart remark and we`ll both laugh. He sounds like an ass, but it`s the way he says it. He says it kinda cocky...but in a cute way. Which is why it`s so hard to tell him things...and to bitch at him. I don`t like being angry with him, and i don`t like not trusting him. He`s probably the best thing that`s happened to me since my parents` divorce...but yet again he`s the reason for a lot of my troubles. he`s helped me quit a lot of stupid things, and i just love him more than anything. right now, we`re "taking a break" until my bc pills kick in, and until things settle down, but i don`t wanna wait, or put up with not seeing him. Should i just get sh** over with and break up with him? or give this a chance?
i know that if i break up with him i`ll be heartbroken...but i don`t think he really cares. that could just be random drugs in my system...or the truth. all my friends say they truly thinks he LOVES me...but he only shows it when i`m with him. (sometimes he`ll say I LOVE YOU on the phone...but most the time he`s too drunk to realize anything.) so your opinion would be very helpful...not like it will change things drastically or immediately...but this way i`ll know i don`t have crazy thoughts...(or do i? 0:)

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